Gifts from estranged parents?

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you estranged? At this point, they are making an effort, and you seem to be the difficult one.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make up with your parents.

No.

not OP

If you are not OP, why answer something you could not possibly know and make a decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

You are so confident, yet so wrong. It’s almost impressive.

Almost.

Without details, and looking at your answers, I stand by my statement. Grow the eff up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. A narcissist will go to extreme lengths to wedge back in. Not only will they mistreat kids the same way, they’ll use them to get to you. ‘Gifts” are a weapon for these types.

So, you've decided that Mom is a narcissist. How very instagram of you.

[Anonymous]

My sister cut us all off years ago. She has let us in just a tiny bit — meaning an occasional group text. But, she sends gifts to my kids each year.

It goes like this. “Hey kids, you got a gift from Aunt Sally, come open it.” “Who? Who is Sally?” “Remember, this is my sister who lives in Texas.” “Oh yeah.” They open the gift and I text her thank you. But if I wanted zero contact, I would let them open the gift and just not thank her.

[Anonymous]

I'm estranged from a sibling and send gifts to my niece and nephew at their other parent's house. I consider my relationship with them as separate from my sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It belongs to your kid, you have to give it to them.

1000% wrong.

The parents have and should exert control in this situation. Parents have complete control over what is given to their kids. Anyone could send your kid anything. As a parent, you should check that stuff.

Amazon was great for gifts for kids because we always got the packing slip with the list of items in the wrapped/bagged gift and we could look it up and see if it was appropriate. My estranged in laws sent inappropriate stuff all the time. My nanny gave my kids one toy we put away and the kid choked on it and didn't die because my mom was there and dealt with the issue.

I wouldn't make a scene as in don't send it back. Just don't acknowledge it and do what you want. Give it to your kids later or donate or throw away. You don't have to tell your kids who it is from.

OP doesn’t sound like a good parent, though. Because who even thinks this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how old the kids are and how well they know the grandparents.

OP ignore every other answer and just focus on this PP's post. How old are your kids, how well do they know their grandparents, and how much do they know/understand about why they never see them now? All of that matters in whether giving them the gifts makes sense or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

I'm not going to ignore them, I'm calling them out, as are you. And that was my way of doing just what you said: recognizing their trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

Don’t be an ahole like a woman I know, who literally trashed it all. Give it to the kids. They don’t need to fight your petty battles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

I'm not going to ignore them, I'm calling them out, as are you. And that was my way of doing just what you said: recognizing their trolling.

If there is a troll, consider there are several of us because I written similar responses and I see others here. Just because it's not the answer you want, that doesn't mean any of us are trolls. You have given zero info as to why you are estranged from your parents, so don't expect everyone to support you. You may be wrong. And the issue with your kids is definitely wrong so it's all a little sus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm estranged from a sibling and send gifts to my niece and nephew at their other parent's house. I consider my relationship with them as separate from my sibling.

That’s passive aggressive. Why not send it to your siblings house?