Gifts from estranged parents?

[Anonymous]

Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Who decided to cut off contact, you or your parents?
You should give your kids the gifts unless they are unsafe. No reason to drag the kids into it unless the grandparents were abusing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

Looks like you might, dear. Who hurt you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make up with your parents.

No.

not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It belongs to your kid, you have to give it to them.

What? No you don’t. They are minors. Their parents decide what they do or don’t get, absent food, water, shelter and medical care. Not “gifts” from estranged people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

You are so confident, yet so wrong. It’s almost impressive.

Almost.

[Anonymous]

It's tough. Do you think they will write inappropriate things in the cards? If so, open the cards. Are your kids an age where you can be honest? I have a sibling who is not only emotionally abusive, but has very inappropriate boundaries. We would look at what we wrote and discuss why it was so inappropriate, and they could identify-manipulation, talking about showering them with kisses when they had asked her multiple times to not touch them, guilt trips. They could identify how creepy they used to find her behavior and unwillingness to respect "no." We would donate all gifts with their permission.

Some people just don't get it. I do find those most judgmental of anything from how you raise kids, to estrangements to career choices, often do learn their lesson through life experience down the line. One coworker who was extremely judgmental of estrangement is now estranged from both her kids and her sibling.

[Anonymous]

Can't you say we don't see grandma and grandpa because they were mean to me (or whatever), but they do think about you and sent you these.

[Anonymous]

My mom always had a serious shopping problem. Like not being able to leave her home(s) or go anywhere without returning with something purchased. It was pretty bad.

Up until like 15 years ago she'd even do stuff like lose money in Atlantic City and then strong arm sell me something I didn't really need so she could replace the cash before my stepfather figured it out. I did that for her more than a few times. I didn't it "because she's my mom" etc. and she always told me I was her best friend and so on.

I got tired of being that best friend. She also was doing all this stuff without ever sending gifts or things for my kids because I needed to "visit her" for them to get the things.

When there was a flood at her place and things got ruined she got angry with me because I never picked up the things that were ruined. I DID NOT BUY THEM.

I got tired of it. She's in assisted living near my sister who clearly hopes to inherit everything she has left, if there is ever anything left. I'm not flying across the country to cater to her anymore. My sister can do that.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. A narcissist will go to extreme lengths to wedge back in. Not only will they mistreat kids the same way, they’ll use them to get to you. ‘Gifts” are a weapon for these types.

[Anonymous]

Why are you estranged? At this point, they are making an effort, and you seem to be the difficult one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

+1

My childhood was good enough. It’s how I’m treated now that’s the issue, as it is for most estranged children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

+1

My childhood was good enough. It’s how I’m treated now that’s the issue, as it is for most estranged children.

As an adult, why are you so concerned about what's going on now - as if it's something you cannot handle as an adult to other adults. You say your childhood was fine. Are you just nitpicking at little things (?) because frankly, it sounds like a maturity issue that you cannot handle things as an adult. And we see this as a giant trend now, with everyone immediately coming to your support without even knowing the details. You will need tobsupply a lot more info before anyone can make a comment. Secondly, you really have not considered your own kids. Apparently you've decided that your kids will miss out on having grandparents and unless they are abusive (see above) you are just using your kids as leverage, which highlights the whole maturity thing. Everyone loses. What are you gaining from this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

+1

My childhood was good enough. It’s how I’m treated now that’s the issue, as it is for most estranged children.

See, here's the thing. You are not a child. You are a parent, not the child to your parents. Imagine you are at work dealing with a colleague- how would you deal with conflict then? You can't cut them out of your life. But, here we are- you are angry at something they said, did, or didn't do, and the door shuts for them and the kids. Come on. Not even close to reasonable.