Advice on how to motivate/redirect DC after being rejected from their ED 1st choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way other than school-specific SCOIR or Naviance data to determine what percentage of ED deferrals end up admitted in RD?

You can search the blogs of some of the more famous college consultants? List the school in a new thread (or search here)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1264154.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way other than school-specific SCOIR or Naviance data to determine what percentage of ED deferrals end up admitted in RD?

You can search the blogs of some of the more famous college consultants? List the school in a new thread (or search here)?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1264154.page

How is this relevant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic.

I suspect it doesn’t really help the kid, either. Maybe makes them feel better in the short term (does it, though?) but it seems like it would reinforce an all-or-nothing mindset, which is rarely helpful long term.

[Anonymous]

“No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous”

I’m glad when my kids ask me to review or edit work, or ask for help preparing job hunting materials. It gives me the opportunity to provide my incite and guidance when they are open to accepting it. It allows me to shape their perspective and skill set so they are better prepared for the work force

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1243505.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic.

I mean, it is somewhat personal. They're looking at your grades (which represent years of work), scores, essays, multiple recommendations speaking to your personality. I'm not saying that if you don't get in, it means they don't like you at all or you're not worthy. But they didn't like you *enough* to let you in; how can you not take that away from a rejection?

Wouldn’t “screw them!” only deepen the sense that this was personal, though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

oh stop, sanctimommy.

we all do it.

Well, no. We don't "all do it." And some kids don't use ChatGPT either. Too bad you rationalize behavior that penalizes honest kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous”

I’m glad when my kids ask me to review or edit work, or ask for help preparing job hunting materials. It gives me the opportunity to provide my incite and guidance when they are open to accepting it. It allows me to shape their perspective and skill set so they are better prepared for the work force

Hopefully you don't provide "incite" to your child's essays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic.

I mean, it is somewhat personal. They're looking at your grades (which represent years of work), scores, essays, multiple recommendations speaking to your personality. I'm not saying that if you don't get in, it means they don't like you at all or you're not worthy. But they didn't like you *enough* to let you in; how can you not take that away from a rejection?

Wouldn’t “screw them!” only deepen the sense that this was personal, though?

I don’t really understand what we’re arguing about. It is somewhat personal, and I don’t see why you have to shy away from that, and why it’s unhealthy to dislike the school for rejecting you. This attitude doesn’t have to transfer to every aspect of one’s life, nor should it, but it’s fine in this context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic.

I mean, it is somewhat personal. They're looking at your grades (which represent years of work), scores, essays, multiple recommendations speaking to your personality. I'm not saying that if you don't get in, it means they don't like you at all or you're not worthy. But they didn't like you *enough* to let you in; how can you not take that away from a rejection?

Wouldn’t “screw them!” only deepen the sense that this was personal, though?

I don’t really understand what we’re arguing about. It is somewhat personal, and I don’t see why you have to shy away from that, and why it’s unhealthy to dislike the school for rejecting you. This attitude doesn’t have to transfer to every aspect of one’s life, nor should it, but it’s fine in this context.

I dunno, my kid didn’t get in ED or ED2. She was sad, and I was sad that she was sad. But I just don’t see how putting down the schools — “they suck!” or even “they’re idiots to have rejected you!” — would have helped her.

The schools don’t suck. They’re not idiots. She’d have been quite happy at either if she’d gotten in. But those doors didn’t open.

I guess I think kids are plenty capable of holding hard things without anger or externalizing. Mind you, I’m plenty imperfect, as I’m sure my kids would tell you lol. I’ve just never found that sort of charged reaction to be especially useful in my own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous”

I’m glad when my kids ask me to review or edit work, or ask for help preparing job hunting materials. It gives me the opportunity to provide my incite and guidance when they are open to accepting it. It allows me to shape their perspective and skill set so they are better prepared for the work force

Hopefully you don't provide "incite" to your child's essays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic.

I mean, it is somewhat personal. They're looking at your grades (which represent years of work), scores, essays, multiple recommendations speaking to your personality. I'm not saying that if you don't get in, it means they don't like you at all or you're not worthy. But they didn't like you *enough* to let you in; how can you not take that away from a rejection?

Wouldn’t “screw them!” only deepen the sense that this was personal, though?

I don’t really understand what we’re arguing about. It is somewhat personal, and I don’t see why you have to shy away from that, and why it’s unhealthy to dislike the school for rejecting you. This attitude doesn’t have to transfer to every aspect of one’s life, nor should it, but it’s fine in this context.

I dunno, my kid didn’t get in ED or ED2. She was sad, and I was sad that she was sad. But I just don’t see how putting down the schools — “they suck!” or even “they’re idiots to have rejected you!” — would have helped her.

The schools don’t suck. They’re not idiots. She’d have been quite happy at either if she’d gotten in. But those doors didn’t open.

I guess I think kids are plenty capable of holding hard things without anger or externalizing. Mind you, I’m plenty imperfect, as I’m sure my kids would tell you lol. I’ve just never found that sort of charged reaction to be especially useful in my own life.

I agree. The screw you mentality is just a case of sour grapes.
Not helpful at any juncture.