Reply to Advice on how to motivate/redirect DC after being rejected from their ED 1st choice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is very important to remember, this not a "personal" rejection, I don't understand the "screw you" responses, they seem very unsophisticated and basic. [/quote]

I mean, it is somewhat personal.  They're looking at your grades (which represent years of work), scores, essays, multiple recommendations speaking to your personality.  I'm not saying that if you don't get in, it means they don't like you at all or you're not worthy.  But they didn't like you *enough* to let you in; how can you not take that away from a rejection?  [/quote]

Wouldn’t “screw them!” only deepen the sense that this was personal, though?[/quote]

I don’t really understand what we’re arguing about. It is somewhat personal, and I don’t see why you have to shy away from that, and why it’s unhealthy to dislike the school for rejecting you.  This attitude doesn’t have to transfer to every aspect of one’s life, nor should it, but it’s fine in this context.  [/quote]

I dunno, my kid didn’t get in ED or ED2. She was sad, and I was sad that she was sad. But I just don’t see how putting down the schools — “they suck!” or even “they’re idiots to have rejected you!” — would have helped her.

The schools don’t suck. They’re not idiots. She’d have been quite happy at either if she’d gotten in. But those doors didn’t open.

I guess I think kids are plenty capable of holding hard things without anger or externalizing. Mind you, I’m plenty imperfect, as I’m sure my kids would tell you lol. I’ve just never found that sort of charged reaction to be especially useful in my own life. [/quote]

I agree. The screw you mentality is just a case of sour grapes.
Not helpful at any juncture. [/quote]

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