Advice on how to motivate/redirect DC after being rejected from their ED 1st choice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

eh, they're doing great at Yale without me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

oh stop, sanctimommy.

we all do it.

No we don’t.

Yes, we do.
Two kids at T10/20.
Here for #3.

[Anonymous]

Why does he need to be positive? He's upset. Let him be sad and upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to be positive? He's upset. Let him be sad and upset!

This. And also you don't need to manage a 17 year old's feelings. Maybe you are projecting. Kids are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

oh stop, sanctimommy.

we all do it.

No we don’t.

Yes, we do.
Two kids at T10/20.
Here for #3.

No we don’t - though perhaps now your kids are in such a world. Ends justify means, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

What? What kid submits essays without anyone helping them edit? That sounds nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

oh stop, sanctimommy.

we all do it.

DP. We do not all do it.

[Anonymous]

There’s a weird socially isolated poster here regularly.
She’s back and complaining about parent editorial content in college apps.

[Anonymous]

I think its better to have the "no" now than be put in the RD round or waitlist, its conclusive.

My DD got a "no" from Oxford on the basis of her application, she didn't even get an interview. In some ways she was quite relieved that the pressure was off early. And she was very motivated by the subjects she had chosen to apply for elsewhere.

I hope your kid finds their way through it OP.

[Anonymous]

Being rejected or deferred ED is hard and the timing isn’t optimal with it being finals-time for a lot of kids. My kid was deferred a couple years ago (ultimately waitlisted). Let them be disappointed for a short time but don’t feed it. Dont talk about the school that rejected or deferred them, encourage them to focus on studying for finals and talk about getting other applications out the door. If the kid already has an EA acceptance in hand, talk up that school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its better to have the "no" now than be put in the RD round or waitlist, its conclusive.

My DD got a "no" from Oxford on the basis of her application, she didn't even get an interview. In some ways she was quite relieved that the pressure was off early. And she was very motivated by the subjects she had chosen to apply for elsewhere.

I hope your kid finds their way through it OP.

Agree. Friend’s child was strung along by Princeton most of last school year. Would have been so much kinder to cut them loose from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being rejected or deferred ED is hard and the timing isn’t optimal with it being finals-time for a lot of kids. My kid was deferred a couple years ago (ultimately waitlisted). Let them be disappointed for a short time but don’t feed it. Dont talk about the school that rejected or deferred them, encourage them to focus on studying for finals and talk about getting other applications out the door. If the kid already has an EA acceptance in hand, talk up that school

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

What???? everyone needs an editor. Newspapers have copy editors, I spend about 10% of my time as a manager editing things my team members write and when I write the first draft I ask one of them to look at it with fresh eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I let my kid pick a day to skip school and he worked on apps. I WFH so edited while he worked and honestly, by the end of that day, he was in good shape.

No absolutely no

You edited then your kid is not ready for college

Parents are ridiculous

What???? everyone needs an editor. Newspapers have copy editors, I spend about 10% of my time as a manager editing things my team members write and when I write the first draft I ask one of them to look at it with fresh eyes.

Exactly this -- in the workplace you all have multiple eyes on a document. Editing is not the same as doing for... someone needs to look for typos, missing words, grammar issues because its easy for eyes to glaze over. Even the most seasoned authors have editors.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully, you've already planted the seed that an ED application to a highly selective university is still kind of a crap shoot.

And hopefully they have some friends who are also going through it.

It's OK for them to feel sad and mad, but it's good if they can keep perspective on just how small the chances are -- for all kids.