Missed deadline for parenting class in divorce- how bad is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.

There were different class times to sign up for but I didn't realize how it worked until it was too late; I assumed my attorney would present me with options and make sure I took care of it.

My focus now is being split between family and work. I think that 50/50 custody would let me go all-in at work when I don't have the kids and be more present for them when I do, and I think it will be better for them than before divorce.

This is all theoretical and that's the problem. You can't choose to prioritize parenting when it's convenient. You have to prioritize it NOW and stop making excuses.

I don't think it's fair to expect that before I've had time to rearrange my life; I don't even have time to set up a place for them to visit at yet. My wife is in our family house and since she has a head start in terms of having a place for them to be where they're already comfortable, I should get time to adjust my work schedule, figure out housing, etc.

I don’t understand what you’re saying; you’re the one who filed for divorce, so this is happening on timing that YOU imposed. Didn’t you think any of through or make plans before filing?

Honestly I thought DW would want to leave the house and set up her own place once she saw that I had filed so she wouldn’t have to prolong things. And I travel enough that if she didn’t, I figured that I could stay in hotels in between work trips and see the kids in our old house and that she would go to a friend’s house or hotel during those times. My attorney said nesting was a very likely arrangement and that seemed like the best option financially but DW flat out rejected that.

Omg, there’s so much magical thinking on your and your attorney’s parts, now I do think you’re a troll. If your wife has been the primary caregiver at home with the kids while you worked long hours at a demanding job and traveled frequently, it’s absurd that anyone would think that she would voluntarily move out of the house. This weekend, start looking at housing. Sign a lease as soon as you can. Once you move in, take the kids out shopping for the items they’ll need for their new rooms. That can be part of what you do with them during your custodial time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.

There were different class times to sign up for but I didn't realize how it worked until it was too late; I assumed my attorney would present me with options and make sure I took care of it.

My focus now is being split between family and work. I think that 50/50 custody would let me go all-in at work when I don't have the kids and be more present for them when I do, and I think it will be better for them than before divorce.

This is all theoretical and that's the problem. You can't choose to prioritize parenting when it's convenient. You have to prioritize it NOW and stop making excuses.

I don't think it's fair to expect that before I've had time to rearrange my life; I don't even have time to set up a place for them to visit at yet. My wife is in our family house and since she has a head start in terms of having a place for them to be where they're already comfortable, I should get time to adjust my work schedule, figure out housing, etc.

I don’t understand what you’re saying; you’re the one who filed for divorce, so this is happening on timing that YOU imposed. Didn’t you think any of through or make plans before filing?

Honestly I thought DW would want to leave the house and set up her own place once she saw that I had filed so she wouldn’t have to prolong things. And I travel enough that if she didn’t, I figured that I could stay in hotels in between work trips and see the kids in our old house and that she would go to a friend’s house or hotel during those times. My attorney said nesting was a very likely arrangement and that seemed like the best option financially but DW flat out rejected that.

Omg, there’s so much magical thinking on your and your attorney’s parts, now I do think you’re a troll. If your wife has been the primary caregiver at home with the kids while you worked long hours at a demanding job and traveled frequently, it’s absurd that anyone would think that she would voluntarily move out of the house. This weekend, start looking at housing. Sign a lease as soon as you can. Once you move in, take the kids out shopping for the items they’ll need for their new rooms. That can be part of what you do with them during your custodial time.

It’s not crazy at all. During an argument DW said she was going to leave and get an apartment if things didn’t change. She was the one who said she was going to move out, and my attorney said nesting is a totally standard thing now and that I would have been remiss to not ask for it. It’s ridiculous that I have to pay for a separate apartment and have to furnish it using my own assets and salary. It should at least come from marital assets.

[Anonymous]

You seem like a s***head but it’s not a big deal. People are given a lot of slack in family. Take it as soon as possible and a judge won’t care and the opposing party will look petty if they bring it up. There are many other factors that will be weighed more heavily in your case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem like a s***head but it’s not a big deal. People are given a lot of slack in family. Take it as soon as possible and a judge won’t care and the opposing party will look petty if they bring it up. There are many other factors that will be weighed more heavily in your case.

NP if that’s the case why are they even requiring this course and why should the opposing party take it in good faith?

Family court sounds messed up.

[Anonymous]

Why do you even want 50/50 if you can’t bother to pay attention to something important for you to GET 50/50?!

I hate men like you who put their ego over their kids wellbeing. You’re disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

You mean that she actually cares about your children and raises them? Unlike yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

How are you going to handle 50/50 custody?

Obviously I'll find a way to make it work. If I put in the time now that will give me more flexibility and income later and I think anyone would understand that.

I hope this is a troll. There's no way you're this oblivious and self-centered.

+1
For the sake of all children, I pray this is just rage bait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.

There were different class times to sign up for but I didn't realize how it worked until it was too late; I assumed my attorney would present me with options and make sure I took care of it.

My focus now is being split between family and work. I think that 50/50 custody would let me go all-in at work when I don't have the kids and be more present for them when I do, and I think it will be better for them than before divorce.

How quickly does everyone think this guy will remarry? He literally needs someone holding his hand at all times, telling him what to do. How on earth do you even have a job if you can’t think for yourself?!

[Anonymous]

Has to be a troll. Way too cliche with all the male entitlement thinking rules don't apply to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

How are you going to handle 50/50 custody?

Obviously I'll find a way to make it work. If I put in the time now that will give me more flexibility and income later and I think anyone would understand that.

I hope this is a troll. There's no way you're this oblivious and self-centered.

+1
For the sake of all children, I pray this is just rage bait.

No, sadly, there’s a whole law firm that specializes in stroking the egos of men like this and telling them that they can get 50/50 so they don’t pay CS.

My XH was regular shitty before he hired them. Then, their forum rotted his brain and we had 11 years of litigation abuse before a judge finally stopped him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.

There were different class times to sign up for but I didn't realize how it worked until it was too late; I assumed my attorney would present me with options and make sure I took care of it.

My focus now is being split between family and work. I think that 50/50 custody would let me go all-in at work when I don't have the kids and be more present for them when I do, and I think it will be better for them than before divorce.

This is all theoretical and that's the problem. You can't choose to prioritize parenting when it's convenient. You have to prioritize it NOW and stop making excuses.

I don't think it's fair to expect that before I've had time to rearrange my life; I don't even have time to set up a place for them to visit at yet. My wife is in our family house and since she has a head start in terms of having a place for them to be where they're already comfortable, I should get time to adjust my work schedule, figure out housing, etc.

I don’t understand what you’re saying; you’re the one who filed for divorce, so this is happening on timing that YOU imposed. Didn’t you think any of through or make plans before filing?

Honestly I thought DW would want to leave the house and set up her own place once she saw that I had filed so she wouldn’t have to prolong things. And I travel enough that if she didn’t, I figured that I could stay in hotels in between work trips and see the kids in our old house and that she would go to a friend’s house or hotel during those times. My attorney said nesting was a very likely arrangement and that seemed like the best option financially but DW flat out rejected that.

Idiot 🤦‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did the parenting class end up a requirement? Is that because of your jurisdiction, or did you wife ask for it?

In MD, if you’ve filed for divorce without having a custody agreement in place for minor children, you are required to take the parenting class.

To be clear, both parties are required to take it, not just the petitioner.

Yeah but the wife has plenty of time to take the class because, according to OP, she "does nothing."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

OMG do you hear yourself?!

I don’t think you will get 50% custody. Your language on this forum illustrates the way you think. I don’t think you will be able to hide what a horrible person you are. Is by some miracle you do get 50%, I feel sorry for your children.

No one here knows the kind of person I am. I work hard and am doing my best to improve my life and that will improve my kid’s life. My wife has taken advantage of me for too long and thinks that she should get more custody and time with the kids just because she’s their mom. She’s squeezed me out and doesn’t give me room to be the kind of dad I can be and that’s one of the reasons I’m glad to be getting a divorce. My kids will be happier with a happier dad.

The best thing for your kids would to not be from a broken home but too late for that. You should probably just give your wife full custody as you don't seem cut out for parenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.

There were different class times to sign up for but I didn't realize how it worked until it was too late; I assumed my attorney would present me with options and make sure I took care of it.

My focus now is being split between family and work. I think that 50/50 custody would let me go all-in at work when I don't have the kids and be more present for them when I do, and I think it will be better for them than before divorce.

You want your attorney to bill you $500/hr to remind you of your schedule?