Missed deadline for parenting class in divorce- how bad is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH going through a divorce in MD. I'm the petitioner. I didn't make the deadlina toe for taking the parenting class I was supposed to do after filing. I forgot but honestly but am surprised that my attorney did not watch this deadline for me and didn't remind me at some point.

Until I can get a hold of my attorney on Monday, can anyone tell me how bad this is going to look for me? I am trying to get 50/50 custody or more.

Why should it be your attorney's responsibility to remind you? If I were you, I would not try to put blame on anyone but you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

Just from reading two of your responses. I wouldn't trust you to take care of an artificial plant. How old is this child who will be in your care because I suspect the child is more responsible and mature than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

You must also realize that they get sick in the middle of the night sometimes and 50% of that will be on your schedule and at some of the worst possible times. Then there are summers where they are home all day everyday for weeks in end.

Ignoring the other digs at me in this thread, summer is easy to handle:

I can take them for ~10 days in the beginning of the summer for vacation and ~10 days at the end of August for vacation, which is what we've always done as a family. I don't see why that should have to change and it would give the kids continuity. DW has always been the one that decided what they do in the middle of that so she can be responsible for figuring out the weekdays and I can get enough weekends that with the ~20 days of vacation plus maybe Fourth of July weekend and Father's Day weekend every year it will add up to 50% of their summer break.

Re: sick days:

I don't see why our arrangements for sick days should have to change either. DW has far more personal days at her job than I do and always has, and she has handled the sick days for that reason. I think that given that the kids will be dependent on both of our incomes it is reasonable to negotiate into the settlement that as long as DW's work benefits stay the same, she should be the one to take off of work for the kids' sick days and/or handle pickup if we get a call from school.

This has to be a troll. No one is this stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

I'm about 99% sure this is a troll post, but if not you are doing a great job of demonstrating why it might be better for your kids to be with their mother more than 50% of the time.

I'm surprised you didn't blame your STBX for not reminding you about the deadline. You seem like the type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

This the trollest of trolls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

And that attitude is the exact reason you’re going to end up with every other weekend.

OTOH I can see why you’re getting divorced, the lack of self awareness is astounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

And that attitude is the exact reason you’re going to end up with every other weekend.

OTOH I can see why you’re getting divorced, the lack of self awareness is astounding.

Every other weekend seems like an unfair amount of time to give this jerk. I feel bad for these kids having to spend even a few hours with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

You must also realize that they get sick in the middle of the night sometimes and 50% of that will be on your schedule and at some of the worst possible times. Then there are summers where they are home all day everyday for weeks in end.

Ignoring the other digs at me in this thread, summer is easy to handle:

I can take them for ~10 days in the beginning of the summer for vacation and ~10 days at the end of August for vacation, which is what we've always done as a family. I don't see why that should have to change and it would give the kids continuity. DW has always been the one that decided what they do in the middle of that so she can be responsible for figuring out the weekdays and I can get enough weekends that with the ~20 days of vacation plus maybe Fourth of July weekend and Father's Day weekend every year it will add up to 50% of their summer break.

Re: sick days:

I don't see why our arrangements for sick days should have to change either. DW has far more personal days at her job than I do and always has, and she has handled the sick days for that reason. I think that given that the kids will be dependent on both of our incomes it is reasonable to negotiate into the settlement that as long as DW's work benefits stay the same, she should be the one to take off of work for the kids' sick days and/or handle pickup if we get a call from school.

This has to be a troll. No one is this stupid.

Visit Cordell and Cordell’s forums. Have your barf bag ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH going through a divorce in MD. I'm the petitioner. I didn't make the deadline for taking the parenting class I was supposed to do after filing. I forgot but honestly but am surprised that my attorney did not watch this deadline for me and didn't remind me at some point.

Until I can get a hold of my attorney on Monday, can anyone tell me how bad this is going to look for me? I am trying to get 50/50 custody or more.

I can't imagine why your marriage failed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

You must also realize that they get sick in the middle of the night sometimes and 50% of that will be on your schedule and at some of the worst possible times. Then there are summers where they are home all day everyday for weeks in end.

Ignoring the other digs at me in this thread, summer is easy to handle:

I can take them for ~10 days in the beginning of the summer for vacation and ~10 days at the end of August for vacation, which is what we've always done as a family. I don't see why that should have to change and it would give the kids continuity. DW has always been the one that decided what they do in the middle of that so she can be responsible for figuring out the weekdays and I can get enough weekends that with the ~20 days of vacation plus maybe Fourth of July weekend and Father's Day weekend every year it will add up to 50% of their summer break.

Re: sick days:

I don't see why our arrangements for sick days should have to change either. DW has far more personal days at her job than I do and always has, and she has handled the sick days for that reason. I think that given that the kids will be dependent on both of our incomes it is reasonable to negotiate into the settlement that as long as DW's work benefits stay the same, she should be the one to take off of work for the kids' sick days and/or handle pickup if we get a call from school.

This has to be a troll. No one is this stupid.

Visit Cordell and Cordell’s forums. Have your barf bag ready.

NP who dipped in out of curiosity and noped right out of there. Those people make OP look responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

Troll or a guy who needs an attitude adjustment. Hope the judge provides an opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

You must also realize that they get sick in the middle of the night sometimes and 50% of that will be on your schedule and at some of the worst possible times. Then there are summers where they are home all day everyday for weeks in end.

Ignoring the other digs at me in this thread, summer is easy to handle:

I can take them for ~10 days in the beginning of the summer for vacation and ~10 days at the end of August for vacation, which is what we've always done as a family. I don't see why that should have to change and it would give the kids continuity. DW has always been the one that decided what they do in the middle of that so she can be responsible for figuring out the weekdays and I can get enough weekends that with the ~20 days of vacation plus maybe Fourth of July weekend and Father's Day weekend every year it will add up to 50% of their summer break.

Re: sick days:

I don't see why our arrangements for sick days should have to change either. DW has far more personal days at her job than I do and always has, and she has handled the sick days for that reason. I think that given that the kids will be dependent on both of our incomes it is reasonable to negotiate into the settlement that as long as DW's work benefits stay the same, she should be the one to take off of work for the kids' sick days and/or handle pickup if we get a call from school.

This is not how 50/50 works. When you have the kids, you are responsible. No, she will not pick them up when they are sick on your time. You will need to do that. No, you can't just add up the summer days and take 10 here and 10 there and call it 50/50. Divorce is going to be a major inconvenience. Get ready for it. It is going to change everything about your life. I am not sure that you know what you are doing. I don't think that you should try to get 50/50. You are just going to be angry when your children get in the way of your life. No one wants that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

Listen to yourself:

Your children will affect your work schedule.

You think you will only be responsible for them 50/50.

You are still responsible for child during the other 50% of the time. Maybe you aren’t making a school lunch or driving them to gymnastic practice, but you are still responsible.

You must also realize that they get sick in the middle of the night sometimes and 50% of that will be on your schedule and at some of the worst possible times. Then there are summers where they are home all day everyday for weeks in end.

Ignoring the other digs at me in this thread, summer is easy to handle:

I can take them for ~10 days in the beginning of the summer for vacation and ~10 days at the end of August for vacation, which is what we've always done as a family. I don't see why that should have to change and it would give the kids continuity. DW has always been the one that decided what they do in the middle of that so she can be responsible for figuring out the weekdays and I can get enough weekends that with the ~20 days of vacation plus maybe Fourth of July weekend and Father's Day weekend every year it will add up to 50% of their summer break.

Re: sick days:

I don't see why our arrangements for sick days should have to change either. DW has far more personal days at her job than I do and always has, and she has handled the sick days for that reason. I think that given that the kids will be dependent on both of our incomes it is reasonable to negotiate into the settlement that as long as DW's work benefits stay the same, she should be the one to take off of work for the kids' sick days and/or handle pickup if we get a call from school.

You can ask for you custody agreement to include ~20 custodial days in the summer, but most likely, you do not get to solely control which 20 days and when. Your ex-wife gets to decide that the previous arrangement isn't working for her anymore. You clearly decided that for yourself already, since you filed for divorce in the first place. It is not your ex-wife's fault or your lawyer's fault that you were not actually prepared to file and haven't considered the ramifications of your decision.

You still seem to think that you can just schedule your children into your life as though they were work meetings. It doesn't work that way. You are now responsible for all your custodial time. That means that if you have custody on Wednesday, 10/29, and your kid gets sick at school, you are the one responsible for picking them up and making childcare arrangements. It doesn't matter whether their mom used to be in charge of all sick days. You can certainly ask her to continue those arrangements, but she is well within reason to decline. I certainly would. No way would I agree to be on the hook for all sick days and giving you whatever vacation structure you want. If you expect this from her, expect that it will come with increased child support because you are essentially asking her to be on-call in a way that you are personally unwilling to be on-call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

You're wrong and your feelings are not valid. Your arrogance is going to hurt you, too.

-- Divorced dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw that if domestic violence is involved I can be excused from having to attend the class. If my wife hit me and I have proof, would that give me grounds to be allowed to not attend the class?

You're just trolling now.