Missed deadline for parenting class in divorce- how bad is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

How are you going to handle 50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

How are you going to handle 50/50 custody?

Obviously I'll find a way to make it work. If I put in the time now that will give me more flexibility and income later and I think anyone would understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not have a calendar feature on your phone or computer?

It was only in the original court filings and not something that I was given separately from my attorney. I didn't think it was expected that I would go through every single legal document myself. That's the whole point of paying $500/hour to an attorney and who knows how much to his paralegals. If I wanted to manage it myself I would have filed without representation.

No. Lawyers expect their clients to be active participants in their cases, and to read all documents.

How do I know if I have a good attorney?

Mine made it seem like this would be a straightforward process and we could have things tied up quickly. DW is making it harder than it needs to be but I think my attorney wasn't transparent about what I could expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

If you can't find 4 hours to spend on your children, how are you going to manage 50/50 custody?

[Anonymous]

How did the parenting class end up a requirement? Is that because of your jurisdiction, or did you wife ask for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making excuses for why this parenting class wasn't a priority. You're a grown adult - you shouldn't need your mommy reminding you of when you need to be where.

I work for attorneys and just a couple weeks ago watched one leave a conference early to fly to Chicago in order to support his daughter running a marathon. When your kids are important to you, you prioritize them. You didn't prioritize your kids.

I think that working 60 hours a week to make money for my kids should be considered more important than a 4 hour class that I don't even need.

How are you going to handle 50/50 custody?

Obviously I'll find a way to make it work. If I put in the time now that will give me more flexibility and income later and I think anyone would understand that.

I hope this is a troll. There's no way you're this oblivious and self-centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did the parenting class end up a requirement? Is that because of your jurisdiction, or did you wife ask for it?

In MD, if you’ve filed for divorce without having a custody agreement in place for minor children, you are required to take the parenting class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did the parenting class end up a requirement? Is that because of your jurisdiction, or did you wife ask for it?

In MD, if you’ve filed for divorce without having a custody agreement in place for minor children, you are required to take the parenting class.

To be clear, both parties are required to take it, not just the petitioner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw that if domestic violence is involved I can be excused from having to attend the class. If my wife hit me and I have proof, would that give me grounds to be allowed to not attend the class?

Was domestic violence part of the petition for divorce that was already filed with the court? If you’ve missed the deadline for the class and then claim domestic violence retroactively to try to get excused from taking the class, it will make you look very bad. If the court already knows about the domestic violence, you might be able to ask to be excused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

Doubling down on not meeting your responsibilities, I see. Please don't waste your or our time with that nonsense.
OP, it is so much more respectable if you would own your mistake out right instead of offering up excuses. The poor excuses make you look weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw that if domestic violence is involved I can be excused from having to attend the class. If my wife hit me and I have proof, would that give me grounds to be allowed to not attend the class?

Was domestic violence part of the petition for divorce that was already filed with the court? If you’ve missed the deadline for the class and then claim domestic violence retroactively to try to get excused from taking the class, it will make you look very bad. If the court already knows about the domestic violence, you might be able to ask to be excused.

No, it was not part of my petition. My attorney said it would not be considered sufficient to claim in the petition especially since it was never reported to the police.

I understand what you're saying. I'm just very frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For someone mandated to take a parenting class whose first instinct is to blame his attorney, I'm going to guess it won't go well for you.

The best you can do is register right now, today, with a start date as soon as possible and show the court you are working in good faith to correct YOUR error.

You may also want to look at your tendency to overlook deadlines and shift blame. You may find other things that will help you improve yourself and your co-parenting abilities.

I've been really busy with travel and work and I really don't think it should be held against me if I'm the higher earning and primary provider for the family. DW has time to do it on time because she doesn't do anything.

Doubling down on not meeting your responsibilities, I see. Please don't waste your or our time with that nonsense.
OP, it is so much more respectable if you would own your mistake out right instead of offering up excuses. The poor excuses make you look weak.

I hear what you are saying. I am just really tired of feeling like the bad guy just because I was the one who filed when my wife could have just as easily filed first, and probably would have eventually, and I know she will fling this mistake in my face at some point.

I'm going to take some time this weekend to be angry at the process and myself and then regroup Monday and try to own this.

[Anonymous]

The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The process is annoying, but having children in your care can be annoying and unpredictable and they will mess with your schedule. You have to show that you can handle this. Nothing you're saying would convince me.

I think that they will actually affect my schedule far less if I can get 50/50 and know when I need to be responsible for them and then be able to focus on work the rest of the time, and if anything I will be a better parent after divorce because I will not have my focus split all of the time between two things.

What two things is your focus being split between now?

Also, did you not know the time of the parenting class? I am confused.