Do you feel attractive still but your spouse has no interest in you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My xH was like this. I’ve always been a solid 8 for my age, I get plenty of attention from other men, yet he never had any interest in me. And yea, it absolutely kills your soul.

Is your spouse male or female? Overall they lose interest for different reasons.

PP here. Female partner.

Men will sacrifice their happiness for their marriage and family. Women will sacrifice their marriage and family for their happiness.

Hmm. Exact opposite for people I know and all the books I read about cheating and divorce. It’s mostly the men who are abandoning their family for the decade+ younger secretary/coworker. Hell, most of them ending up writing the lids out of their will.

Yep, it goes against all statistical evidence about men’s behavior especially about things like the high rate at which they abandon their spouse when she gets sick.

Both sexes are victims of their own intolerance, insecurities and boredom, considering they cheat at the same rates. The difference is 70+% of divorces are initiated by the woman. I saw some stats regarding divorce that studied divorce rates among straight and gay marriages. The study showed straight and lesbian divorce rates were about equal and cited similar reasons (negligence, mistreatment, etc), but marriages between men had significantly lower divorce rates. Not sure how that plays into your theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in this boat some years ago. Dh seemed to be attracted to anyone but me. Personality wise he still talked endlessly and loved spending time with me over anyone else but just didn't seem attracted, never complimented or looked at me. We had young kids and it was survival mode combined with other stressful issues. I got to such a low point because I cared about it a lot, not even sure why now. I had to get past caring about it and just focus on leaving my need for his attraction out of my top concerns. Somehow that turned the situation around and he has been very complimentary and obviously attracted for a while now but it doesn't seem as important anymore. Something I wanted doesn't feel as amazing once I stopped caring about it. I'm glad to have it but I wish it was there when I could have used it. Now I'm just sad I once cared so much and expended energy and stress over it. You have to love yourself first and if you put a lot of care into someone who is not reciprocating, turn that care back on yourself.

Well said! What you focus on drives your behavior, life experience and self esteem. Sounds like you are in a great place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its ok. I get hit on all the time but it's cobwebs with DH. Don't seek validation from your spouse. Flirt for a quick dopamine hit bit mostly work on yourself. I think maybe that's why i look so good? Just a lot of time for self care

Your post explains why he isn’t into you, men lose all respect for their spouse when they flirt with other men.

I don't flirt with people in front of DH. He has no idea, but even if he did he wouldn't care as we have a one-way open marriage.

A one sided open relationship, typically means you resent him and don’t respect him. He currently prioritizes having you in his life over his self respect, but one day that will change unless being a cuck is his kink…