Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

[Anonymous]

I would focus on why he’s missing key signals and red flags in a partner. Maybe even have him talk to a therapist about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Please don’t do this to your son.

Seriously, nobody wants to be the guy whose mommy yells at his girlfriend’s mommy.

+ 1. Gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get your anger, but you have to let this go. Many more people will break his heart in other ways. Helping him by teaching him how to manage his anger, frustration, and sadness is what you can do now. He will also be a little wiser when he dates again.

This! OP, I know you are angry on behalf of a heartbroken teenager but this is a life lesson he has the luxury of learning while still under your support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

+1

I’d leave her mom alone. Either she doesn’t care, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or she is one of those permissive moms who won’t believe you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on why he’s missing key signals and red flags in a partner. Maybe even have him talk to a therapist about that.

He’s only 17, he lacks the maturity to recognize these. He shouldn’t have been in a relationship to begin with. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

Would you stop blaming the mom for everything? How would you appreciate someone telling you about what a crappy son you have? Would you believe them? Would you thank the person? NO! stay out of your son's business and don't meddle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?

Maybe she didn't think she was inclusive? You only have his word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?

Maybe she didn't think she was inclusive? You only have his word.

I mean exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.

She was cheating. That's lying.

We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.

OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.

If you call mom than YOU are the psycho. Maybe he is dating mommy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

+1

I’d leave her mom alone. Either she doesn’t care, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or she is one of those permissive moms who won’t believe you

OR she is a mom who lets her daughter live her life and make mistakes. Did you tell your son to have sex? If someone judged you for 'allowing' your 17 year old son to have sex what would you say? And where is DAD in this conversation?????? Stop blaming moms for EVERYTHING

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I came home to a distraught, heartbroken, 17 year old son last night. He found out his gf of 9 months actually had 2 other boyfriends. Besides having him screened for STDs, my first thought is to message the mom and let he know what a skanky little POS her daughter is. I'd use polite language of course, but even still there's a part of me that thinks theres no way of doing it without looking a bit crazy.

I think the conversation that you need to have with your 17 YO son is, first empathy and sympathy (yes, we've all been there) and second, why it's a mistake to get sexually involved at this age. How devasting for a teen to have to have an STD test.

+1

I’d leave her mom alone. Either she doesn’t care, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or she is one of those permissive moms who won’t believe you

OR she is a mom who lets her daughter live her life and make mistakes. Did you tell your son to have sex? If someone judged you for 'allowing' your 17 year old son to have sex what would you say? And where is DAD in this conversation?????? Stop blaming moms for EVERYTHING

100000 percent agree

[Anonymous]

JFC helicopter mom.

Doesn’t matter if the girl was right or wrong - if he’s old enough to have sex, he is old enough to navigate relationships without mommy.

If you fall into the “let mommy handle it” trap, he’s going to end up completely dependent on you and not know how to handle these things himself.

Do you really want to end up with a 40 year old son who, whenever he has a problem with his wife, calls mommy and lets her deal with it? Great way for him to end up divorced.

By all means, be there for him, listen to him, empathize with him, but ultimately, let him decide how he wants to handle it. Don’t be that mom.

-signed, someone who stopped hiring young adults because of how often moms came to job interviews or called me when I was being “mean” to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Lady, if you call her mom, that girl is going to tell the entire school what you did and your son will be ostracized.

Absolutely do not do this, you will be making your son’s senior year a living hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC helicopter mom.

Doesn’t matter if the girl was right or wrong - if he’s old enough to have sex, he is old enough to navigate relationships without mommy.

If you fall into the “let mommy handle it” trap, he’s going to end up completely dependent on you and not know how to handle these things himself.

Do you really want to end up with a 40 year old son who, whenever he has a problem with his wife, calls mommy and lets her deal with it? Great way for him to end up divorced.

By all means, be there for him, listen to him, empathize with him, but ultimately, let him decide how he wants to handle it. Don’t be that mom.

-signed, someone who stopped hiring young adults because of how often moms came to job interviews or called me when I was being “mean” to their kids.

There is even a TLC show about moms who just can't let go of their "babies."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC helicopter mom.

Doesn’t matter if the girl was right or wrong - if he’s old enough to have sex, he is old enough to navigate relationships without mommy.

If you fall into the “let mommy handle it” trap, he’s going to end up completely dependent on you and not know how to handle these things himself.

Do you really want to end up with a 40 year old son who, whenever he has a problem with his wife, calls mommy and lets her deal with it? Great way for him to end up divorced.

By all means, be there for him, listen to him, empathize with him, but ultimately, let him decide how he wants to handle it. Don’t be that mom.

-signed, someone who stopped hiring young adults because of how often moms came to job interviews or called me when I was being “mean” to their kids.

This advice is spot on!