Choosing public when you can afford private

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean "are they any???" The DMV is full of public school families who could easily afford private and chose not to. Especially in a county like Montgomery.

I was a Big Law partner making close to seven figures years ago and we never even considered private. It made zero financial, educational, or social sense to do it. I was convinced then and continue to believe now that many go the private school route solely because of peer pressure or guilt.

We took the same approach with college. Had our kids gotten into Harvard or Yale, say, then yeah we would have probably paid for that. But that was never in the cards -- as it isn't for the vast majority, even the top private school kids -- and we weren't about to pay for a kid to go to an NYU, a Northeastern, or a WashU when we had in state UVA.

Needlessly throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on schooling just to keep up with the Joneses was one game we were never interested in playing, and we have no regrets.

This makes no sense for college if you are making that kind of money. That's selfish. You cannot die with the money so you're just spending it on what?

I am this poster. Please explain how the colleges that I have listed -- and a whole host of other privates -- are materially better and have materially better outcomes than the University of Virginia.

And you're wrong that I can't die with the money I saved. Actually I can, and when I do that money will go to those same kids and they'll be far better off than had I thrown so much money away meaninglessly on private school tuition. Many of you aren't yet in a position to have the benefit of hindsight, but when you are you will see that down the road the specific college that your kid attends makes little different on your professional, personal, or financial success. But what you spend and not save when your family is younger sure does.

I went to UVa, and I agree that it has served me. I think your point of view is particularly strong being in-state for Virginia schools. The only caveat is that I don’t think Charlottesville and the large public school model are really for everyone. I don’t think NYU is better than UVA, but I do think some young adults would be happier in New York. That said my parents were able to offer me in-state tuition in Virginia (they were not wealthy, for whatever that’s worth) and I have no complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the MCPS magnet programs are far more academically rigorous than DC area privates, and they're free of charge. SO there's that.

were.

[Anonymous]

Why do people pay for business class instead of economy for a flight?

Why do people buy a Lexus instead of a Toyota?

Why do people buy a Chanel purse instead of a purse at Target?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the MCPS magnet programs are far more academically rigorous than DC area privates, and they're free of charge. SO there's that.

were.

Are. I'm glad you have a magic crystal ball and can automatically reject changes that haven't even been confirmed, but not all of us are so negative and close minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of the MCPS magnet programs are far more academically rigorous than DC area privates, and they're free of charge. SO there's that.

were.

NP - nah. Math is still far more accelerated at MCPS than area privates. The offerings for science, as well, at least in many MCPS high schools.

[Anonymous]

MCPS public school is likely fine for your kid - unless it isn't. The idea that there is a single answer to what is "better" is laughable. Private schools are all different. Public schools vary a lot. What each kid needs/environment that is best for them varies. The one argument I will make is the whole "better teachers in public". Public school teachers might be more qualified, experienced, whatever. They are also completely handcuffed by rules/regulations, huge classes, etc. We've had a few (like 3/30+) that weren't totally burnt out, focused on "maintining control of the class" and really just going through the motions. It's a shame, but definitely the reality, that public school teachers just don't have a lot to give beyond implementing the curriculum. Even that can be hard.

[Anonymous]

This may not be applicable because I'm not in MCPS butl, we do public, even though we could afford private because we wanted the dual language immersion program and the only private within a reasonable drive from our house is small and did not offer any kind of gifted pull out, which both of our kids have benefited from in their public school. DH and I both went to great schools, even though we came from not-excellent public schools. We felt behind when we got to college, but worked through it and caught up by graduate school. Our kids' public schools are better than ours were, so I'm not as worried. We've looked at boarding school for our oldest, but it was more to allow them to pursue a sport at a higher level, and we ultimately decided they were better off staying home with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean "are they any???" The DMV is full of public school families who could easily afford private and chose not to. Especially in a county like Montgomery.

I was a Big Law partner making close to seven figures years ago and we never even considered private. It made zero financial, educational, or social sense to do it. I was convinced then and continue to believe now that many go the private school route solely because of peer pressure or guilt.

We took the same approach with college. Had our kids gotten into Harvard or Yale, say, then yeah we would have probably paid for that. But that was never in the cards -- as it isn't for the vast majority, even the top private school kids -- and we weren't about to pay for a kid to go to an NYU, a Northeastern, or a WashU when we had in state UVA.

Needlessly throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on schooling just to keep up with the Joneses was one game we were never interested in playing, and we have no regrets.

This makes no sense for college if you are making that kind of money. That's selfish. You cannot die with the money so you're just spending it on what?

I am this poster. Please explain how the colleges that I have listed -- and a whole host of other privates -- are materially better and have materially better outcomes than the University of Virginia.

And you're wrong that I can't die with the money I saved. Actually I can, and when I do that money will go to those same kids and they'll be far better off than had I thrown so much money away meaninglessly on private school tuition. Many of you aren't yet in a position to have the benefit of hindsight, but when you are you will see that down the road the specific college that your kid attends makes little different on your professional, personal, or financial success. But what you spend and not save when your family is younger sure does.

I went to UVa, and I agree that it has served me. I think your point of view is particularly strong being in-state for Virginia schools. The only caveat is that I don’t think Charlottesville and the large public school model are really for everyone. I don’t think NYU is better than UVA, but I do think some young adults would be happier in New York. That said my parents were able to offer me in-state tuition in Virginia (they were not wealthy, for whatever that’s worth) and I have no complaints.

Well, I wasn't just talking about UVA. I was speaking for metaphorically. There are many other state colleges that fit the bill -- not all of them, but many.

As for "some young adults being happier in New York," that doesn't hold much water with me. I might have been "happier" in a bigger house, driving a nicer car, or taking more expensive vacations. But I wouldn't have been smarter indulging in any of them. Same goes for college choices.

[Anonymous]

We chose public for high school because that was our kids preference (went through applications and acceptance to privates). I went through private and husband went to private. We both are agnostic because both options have pros and cons but ultimately if you have a highly organized, high achieving student send them where you think they will be happy.

I suspect my younger child may choose private for high school, we’ll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean "are they any???" The DMV is full of public school families who could easily afford private and chose not to. Especially in a county like Montgomery.

I was a Big Law partner making close to seven figures years ago and we never even considered private. It made zero financial, educational, or social sense to do it. I was convinced then and continue to believe now that many go the private school route solely because of peer pressure or guilt.

We took the same approach with college. Had our kids gotten into Harvard or Yale, say, then yeah we would have probably paid for that. But that was never in the cards -- as it isn't for the vast majority, even the top private school kids -- and we weren't about to pay for a kid to go to an NYU, a Northeastern, or a WashU when we had in state UVA.

Needlessly throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on schooling just to keep up with the Joneses was one game we were never interested in playing, and we have no regrets.

This makes no sense for college if you are making that kind of money. That's selfish. You cannot die with the money so you're just spending it on what?

I am this poster. Please explain how the colleges that I have listed -- and a whole host of other privates -- are materially better and have materially better outcomes than the University of Virginia.

And you're wrong that I can't die with the money I saved. Actually I can, and when I do that money will go to those same kids and they'll be far better off than had I thrown so much money away meaninglessly on private school tuition. Many of you aren't yet in a position to have the benefit of hindsight, but when you are you will see that down the road the specific college that your kid attends makes little different on your professional, personal, or financial success. But what you spend and not save when your family is younger sure does.

I have no issue with public colleges and went to a private one my parents pushed, hated it and went to a public one and loved it BUT as someone with far less money, I want the best fit. You can do well and go to any college but I want a good college experience for my kids. My husband went to a no name college via the military. He's done financially well but he missed out on a lot college wise that I had. You are pretty arrogant to think many of us don't save.

Tutoring is not very expensive online. So, your comparison is silly. We pay under $20 an hour for tutors.

[Anonymous]

We can easily afford private but use(d) public in a NoVa top pyramid.

Our reasons:
Didn't want to do the obscene wealth scene. Either for us or normalizing for our kids.
Wanted a strong sense of local community - close-by friends, walk to school, adults who know them and see them around in the community, etc.
Have kids who are NT and not lost in the crowd types so thought they would be ok. Always said we would re-evaluate if this factor became an issue.
Social life at smaller privates can be great or really not great. Smaller pool of peers.
I have one kid who is very into the arts and these tend to be a lot stronger programs at a big public. So when it came time to consider ok maybe private high school, this was a clear no. For the other kid, when it came to this same time, that kid was very entrenched socially and doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can easily afford private but use(d) public in a NoVa top pyramid.

Our reasons:
Didn't want to do the obscene wealth scene. Either for us or normalizing for our kids.
Wanted a strong sense of local community - close-by friends, walk to school, adults who know them and see them around in the community, etc.
Have kids who are NT and not lost in the crowd types so thought they would be ok. Always said we would re-evaluate if this factor became an issue.
Social life at smaller privates can be great or really not great. Smaller pool of peers.
I have one kid who is very into the arts and these tend to be a lot stronger programs at a big public. So when it came time to consider ok maybe private high school, this was a clear no. For the other kid, when it came to this same time, that kid was very entrenched socially and doing great.

Many publics have the obscene wealth as well. Don't think that's isolated to privates.

[Anonymous]

Didn't read all of these responses but we chose public for both of my kids. The oldest when through Whitman in Bethesda. We could have easily afforded private but we liked the community we met at public elementary school, student is a real self starter and likes independence, did well in his classes, liked the options for different types of things (lots of history options, music options, writing options, different levels of different classes, languages, etc. He never wanted to leave public, graduated well, attended a T50 university, graduated this year and is gainfully employed. Very pleased with his education, social environment and path. He still has many friends from public school that he remains friends with.

We ended up sending our younger one (who started in public too) to private middle school and high school because he is less independent and was struggling in large class size environment. He wanted to move and he moved him and he was successful in the private school, stayed through graduation and is now at a LAC that is perfect for him. He also loved his school and remains friends with classmates.

In terms of a parent's view of the differing schools, Whitman had so many more options and choices compared to the private for classes and my second kid was limited by the course selection. Private had smaller classes, more individualized writing attention. Whitman was walking distance, private was further away so friends and stuff was a little harder to drive etc, but in general both of my kids got what they needed and we were happy. So if you are lucky or worked hard enough to have the choice, do what's better for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We can easily afford private but use(d) public in a NoVa top pyramid.

Our reasons:
Didn't want to do the obscene wealth scene. Either for us or normalizing for our kids.
Wanted a strong sense of local community - close-by friends, walk to school, adults who know them and see them around in the community, etc.
Have kids who are NT and not lost in the crowd types so thought they would be ok. Always said we would re-evaluate if this factor became an issue.
Social life at smaller privates can be great or really not great. Smaller pool of peers.
I have one kid who is very into the arts and these tend to be a lot stronger programs at a big public. So when it came time to consider ok maybe private high school, this was a clear no. For the other kid, when it came to this same time, that kid was very entrenched socially and doing great.

Many publics have the obscene wealth as well. Don't think that's isolated to privates.

I am the PP. I don't agree. But always valid to have different opinions. I'm at a wealthy public school. I happen to have a sibling in the area with kids at a private. It's different ballgame in both the depth of wealth of some of the individuals and the overall percentage of people at a certain wealth point. Homes, second homes, vacations, general lifestyle, hired help, etc.

[Anonymous]

We could afford private but chose to send our kids to public because we believe in public education and the whole system collapses if more affluent parents who can donate their time and money to the PTSA, advocate for improvements, hod leaders accountable, etc. opt for private. Public education is a public good, but it only works as it should if we all invest in it (and I don't just mean by paying taxes).