Choosing public when you can afford private

[Anonymous]

Realizing this may trigger some, but genuinely wishing to understand this to help my DH and I make a decision for our kids to be happy, well educated, safe.

Are there any families who could have afforded to send their kids to private school but sent them to public anyway? If so, what was your rationale? Which schools did your kids attend, and were you and your kids happy with the experience?

There seemed to be many people on this site who feel that “if you can afford to go private, go private.”

But I’m sure that impression misses a lot of nuance.

Many of my neighbors and their kids to private, despite our being in a great (or used to be great) school district in MCPS.
They often cite ballooning class sizes, but I’m sure there’s more to it.

TIA

[Anonymous]

It seems to me public schools are far better at accommodating outlier students, unless the private is specifically for that purpose. Kids with IEPs, gifted kids, etc all tend to be better served in a larger public school, in part because there are simply far more course offerings and specialized programs.

[Anonymous]

The private we could afford and fit our family’s values is a big commute due to traffic. Oldest kid did it for 3 years in MS and it got a little better once they started taking the metro. They eventually chose to go public because they got into an interest based program that fits their passion. Now they have a ton of time to get things done because they’re spending 20 minutes total on a bus versus 90-120 minutes in a car or on the metro.

Our public is much more diverse and there are so many more clubs and school activities.

The downside is larger classes and a few really bad teachers. Publics also don’t have equitable resources such as textbooks even within the same school and course.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP and forgot to share why my kid turned down some private options closer to home. They didn’t want to lose a class to religion or have to stay at school everyday until 6pm for required sports.

[Anonymous]

Pretty much all of our neighborhood is in your situation. We have experience in both systems. 65% do the strong but large class size public route. For strongest AND well organized students it works very well imho. Multiple levels of orchestras, bands, math, languages, science. I estimate 5% are in private because of unique mix of strengths and challenges of their student. 10% are tracking a family religion with their school choice. 20% in private for other reasons. Of course many families are moved by a mix of these reasons.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean "are they any???" The DMV is full of public school families who could easily afford private and chose not to. Especially in a county like Montgomery.

I was a Big Law partner making close to seven figures years ago and we never even considered private. It made zero financial, educational, or social sense to do it. I was convinced then and continue to believe now that many go the private school route solely because of peer pressure or guilt.

We took the same approach with college. Had our kids gotten into Harvard or Yale, say, then yeah we would have probably paid for that. But that was never in the cards -- as it isn't for the vast majority, even the top private school kids -- and we weren't about to pay for a kid to go to an NYU, a Northeastern, or a WashU when we had in state UVA.

Needlessly throwing away hundreds of thousands of dollars on schooling just to keep up with the Joneses was one game we were never interested in playing, and we have no regrets.

[Anonymous]

You can just look at the demographics and see that a large percentage of families at the most affluent public schools could have afforded private.

In fact, many of them spent more than the cost of private school on housing mainly to access those affluent public schools. There are other good reasons to live in a nice neighborhood of course. But anywhere in the dmv you can find similar amenities, housing stock and commute for less because of less affluent public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me public schools are far better at accommodating outlier students, unless the private is specifically for that purpose. Kids with IEPs, gifted kids, etc all tend to be better served in a larger public school, in part because there are simply far more course offerings and specialized programs.

20 years that was the case, but it’s no longer. The district would rather spend money paying lawyers to fight IEPs than pay for services. That’s why people choose private, or one reason.

[Anonymous]

Priate would have been a stetch but there are in reality very few privates, especially close to us so that was a big factor. We did not want single sex or religious so that only leaves a handful and most wouldn't work with advanced math and started algebra in 8t.

[Anonymous]

“Afford” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. The middle class can technically pay for a lot of things that they maybe shouldn’t. What to buy when is very important for long- term financial wealth building.

We moved to Bethesda for a shorter work commute and because we heard that Bethesda Elementary took good care of its special needs population. This was important to us since our oldest has special needs and we wanted to avoid paying for an SN private if possible.

Turns out MCPS was wonderful for our oldest. They gave him an IEP and offered services and accommodations that we hadn’t even asked for, all included with our taxes. We could afford tutoring, enrichment and extracurriculars outside of school as well.

Our other kids are taking advanced courses in MCPS. One is particularly accelerated, taking AP Calc BC and AP Physics C in 10th grade. Her school offers that flexibility and allows math courses at UMD for 12th grade.

And during this time, we invested our money in the stock market.

Now we pay for a 90k a year uni for our oldest and can afford any education, graduate school, house down payment, etc, for our children. Our retirement is taken care of.

Because we made our money work for us all these MCPS years.

The bottom line is that you can’t be impulsive about this. Financial considerations are more complex than you might think.

[Anonymous]

My kids have many friends in their Bethesda public schools that could easily afford private, but stay public because they like having their kid in a community school with friends nearby. I’m sure if any of these kids were struggling in public then they’d pull them out, but they all seem very happy with their kids in public and see no need to spend the extra $ on private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me public schools are far better at accommodating outlier students, unless the private is specifically for that purpose. Kids with IEPs, gifted kids, etc all tend to be better served in a larger public school, in part because there are simply far more course offerings and specialized programs.

20 years that was the case, but it’s no longer. The district would rather spend money paying lawyers to fight IEPs than pay for services. That’s why people
choose private, or one reason.

We left public for private briefly for one of our 3 children with disabilities. He needed smaller classes and a warmer environment even though he didn’t need a specialized school. We liked the teaching methods at the private we chose and thought our son would thrive there, which he did. He returned a few years later once he was a more confident student. In our public school district which is high performing, we knew many many families who left due to LDs or ADHD for settings that specialized. We also knew families who left because our school was a pressure cooker for their kids and they wanted a gentler experience. There was also a small group of neighbors who preferred private because they had attended private themselves.

[Anonymous]

Science and math are not up to par in private schools. If your kid is gifted in these areas, some public schools are better (not all).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Afford” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. The middle class can technically pay for a lot of things that they maybe shouldn’t. What to buy when is very important for long- term financial wealth building.

We moved to Bethesda for a shorter work commute and because we heard that Bethesda Elementary took good care of its special needs population. This was important to us since our oldest has special needs and we wanted to avoid paying for an SN private if possible.

Turns out MCPS was wonderful for our oldest. They gave him an IEP and offered services and accommodations that we hadn’t even asked for, all included with our taxes. We could afford tutoring, enrichment and extracurriculars outside of school as well.

Our other kids are taking advanced courses in MCPS. One is particularly accelerated, taking AP Calc BC and AP Physics C in 10th grade. Her school offers that flexibility and allows math courses at UMD for 12th grade.

And during this time, we invested our money in the stock market.

Now we pay for a 90k a year uni for our oldest and can afford any education, graduate school, house down payment, etc, for our children. Our retirement is taken care of.

Because we made our money work for us all these MCPS years.

The bottom line is that you can’t be impulsive about this. Financial considerations are more complex than you might think.

Living in bounds for that ES is crazy expensive though. This is a great example where sure, but they also moved to be in bounds for an affluent public school. So it’s kind of potato potahto. And I know, they can sell the house and it will still have the premium if the policies havent changed. But you still need the funds to make the move in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have many friends in their Bethesda public schools that could easily afford private, but stay public because they like having their kid in a community school with friends nearby. I’m sure if any of these kids were struggling in public then they’d pull them out, but they all seem very happy with their kids in public and see no need to spend the extra $ on private.

If you’re living in bethesda, it’s more like why double pay for private. You already paid to live in Bethesda. That’s the same package.