38F - OLD apps: not getting any matches

[Anonymous]

You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

OP is slim. The rest is true.

[Anonymous]

I’m a UVA grad, a few years older than you, was divorced and found a wonderful man on OKC and am now married with a kid.

I agree pics are important but honestly? Also is having a personality in your profile. Are you funny? Interesting? Put stuff that’s very specific to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you set your filters

What do your photos look like

What does your profile say

My filters are:

Must have undergrad and/or graduate degree
Height: 5’9 - 6’4
Open to children
Distance: 30 miles

I have recent photos from my trip in Europe; full body shots of me sight seeing; a picture of me with my niece; picture of me in a dress on the beach

I’m sorry, but you need to be less picky. Most women would date a guy 5’9”+ with a grad degree who’s open to kids. You are competing with *everyone*. That includes all the gorgeous women in their twenties who haven’t been married yet. Many of those guys you are targeting set their limits to 28-30. I know this because I did OLD from 25-32. I saw a slight drop-off at 29, and a big drop-off at 30. I assume there’s another drop-off at 35. Honestly, if you’re 5’0”, I’d be MUCH more flexible on height.

Op here. I’m a catch and I’m not fat and I have a lot to offer. The worst thing you can say about me is that I selected poorly for my first husband and he serially cheated on me. So now I’m back on the apps. 😭

I am not competing with 25 year olds. They can date from 23-32 year old men.

I’m looking at men that are 37-50 years old. The men in my age group who would rather select a 32 year old well…I don’t want them anyway.

Problem solved! If you're the catch you think you are (btw, every woman on DCUM thinks she's a catch, looks 15 years younger, etc.), you'll have men lining up to take you out. Maybe try a different app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

OP is slim. The rest is true.

38F on a 5 feet frame would not look slim usually.

[Anonymous]

Op, I would add a pic with a group of girl friends your age, change the height requirement to 5 "7" or 5 "8" instead of 5 "9" and change your age to include 30-50 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

OP is slim. The rest is true.

38F on a 5 feet frame would not look slim usually.

OMG. She's a 38 year old female! She said she weighed 118lbs.

Hang your head in shame and learn to read internet terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not getting any hits on multiple apps? Because that’s uncommon. There must be a red flag on your profile, or your pics are bad. Most men don’t even read the profile when swiping.

Op here I don’t photograph well

I don’t photograph well either and got tons of hits on the apps. I’m tall though.

Here you come across as entitled, demanding, and shallow; your profile may be giving similar vibes to prospective suitors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

Yes, OP would be very wrong if she thinks men don’t select women by height. For marriage and kids men absolutely try to avoid extremely short genes for the kids. If a woman is 5’5 or 5’8 that won’t matter. But any outliers like a 5’ or a 6’2 woman would have hard time finding a husband.

I know because men told me that when I was dating for marriage in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

Yes, OP would be very wrong if she thinks men don’t select women by height. For marriage and kids men absolutely try to avoid extremely short genes for the kids. If a woman is 5’5 or 5’8 that won’t matter. But any outliers like a 5’ or a 6’2 woman would have hard time finding a husband.

I know because men told me that when I was dating for marriage in my 20s.

Agreed, several men confided in me that they wanted tall children and hence were looking for tall wives.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the problem is the height. I think the issue is being 38 and looking for someone open to having kids. I don’t know, but I would imagine that most men who are looking for someone who wants kids would set their age range younger.

I understand that if you want kids, then you want to say that out front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

+1 Men told me they would not date short women because they wanted tall kids. I am 5 ft 7 inches.

You are 5 feet. You can date a guy who is 5 ft 6 and he will tower over you. My ex H was just shy of 6ft. In heels, we were practically the same height.

Yes, I’m 5’8 and I remember men of all heights it was a very desirable height for them. Their mothers teach them to avoid super short women when it gets to kids. There could be also some dwarfism genetic predisposition etc
Definitely OP should drop the height requirements

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

Yes, OP would be very wrong if she thinks men don’t select women by height. For marriage and kids men absolutely try to avoid extremely short genes for the kids. If a woman is 5’5 or 5’8 that won’t matter. But any outliers like a 5’ or a 6’2 woman would have hard time finding a husband.

I know because men told me that when I was dating for marriage in my 20s.

Agreed, several men confided in me that they wanted tall children and hence were looking for tall wives.

This particular applies to average height men between 5’9-6’ They go crazy wanting to date for 5’7-5’10 women I had to beat them off with a stick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

OP is slim. The rest is true.

OP is not slim. She is average, which is fine. Men looking for very thin women won’t be interested.

[Anonymous]

OP - you should lie a little bit about your height. Post you are 5’3 and ALWAYS wear at least 3’ heels to dates