Preparing for first confession after many years, and having an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the responses.

I went to confession today. I am glad I went but was essentially told to resolve the birth control issue before having relations with my spouse again. So I'm in a challenging situation now.

Are you and your spouse done having children?

If so, I know many in my parents’ generation that had their tubes tied or spouse had a vasectomy. They went to confession and were absolved but were not required to get a reversal.

We do not have children. Ironically, we are planning to start trying for children in the next year or so! But this will be an ongoing issue until I'm not able to have children.

My spouse is not Catholic. So I guess for him, it would be okay to have a vasectomy. But I feel sort of funny bending the rules like that.

The amount of guilt is a lot...

Interesting. I assumed from your OP that you converted because of your husband. Why did you choose to convert to Catholicism?

Kind of a long story. I was raised in the evangelical church, but had a lot of Catholic family members so went to mass and other Catholic events periodically. I always loved the beauty of the liturgy and the traditions. I fell away from any kind of organized religion for a while. As an adult, I began to reconnect with my faith and didn't resonate with the church I'd grown up in, so I became Catholic. I was young and will fully admit I was not as educated as I should have been on this.

So why not find a new church?

Why not respect OP’s decision to return to the Catholic Church?

? The OP suggested it may have been a mistake: "I was young and will fully admit I was not as educated as I should have been on this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.

But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.

Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."

I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.

Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.

But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.

Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."

I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.

Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.

That's fair, but do you really want to be associated with the Catholic brand right now? Distance and differentiation would seem to be desirable based on the last 30 years.

Except for Sister Act (and even Sister Act II). Are you betting on the success of Sister Act 3 to elevate the standing of the Catholic brand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.

But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.

Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."

I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.

Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.

That's fair, but do you really want to be associated with the Catholic brand right now? Distance and differentiation would seem to be desirable based on the last 30 years.

Except for Sister Act (and even Sister Act II). Are you betting on the success of Sister Act 3 to elevate the standing of the Catholic brand?

What?

I worship in a Lutheran church and am a member of a Lutheran congregation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.

But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.

Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."

I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.

Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.

That's fair, but do you really want to be associated with the Catholic brand right now? Distance and differentiation would seem to be desirable based on the last 30 years.

Except for Sister Act (and even Sister Act II). Are you betting on the success of Sister Act 3 to elevate the standing of the Catholic brand?

What?

I worship in a Lutheran church and am a member of a Lutheran congregation.

The Lutherans are much better than the Catholics. /S

[Anonymous]

Please you’ve been brainwashed. Get some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Well, I’m certainly not going to be brainwashed by the Church of DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please go talk to the priest. I am going to guess this is a common issue they deal with.

It is great that you are actually doing a real examination of conscience. I don't think the IUD use is any different than continued sex before marriage, which it sounds like you want to continue (thus the need for the IUD). So I think the premarital sex is the underlying issue in your case. Talk to your priest. talk to more than one priest. Read up on Catholic teaching on premarital sex and see if anything resonates with you.

I am married now. Thank you.

Look into natural family planning. It is very easy for some women.

and the others have 12 kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the responses.

I went to confession today. I am glad I went but was essentially told to resolve the birth control issue before having relations with my spouse again. So I'm in a challenging situation now.

Are you and your spouse done having children?

If so, I know many in my parents’ generation that had their tubes tied or spouse had a vasectomy. They went to confession and were absolved but were not required to get a reversal.

We do not have children. Ironically, we are planning to start trying for children in the next year or so! But this will be an ongoing issue until I'm not able to have children.

My spouse is not Catholic. So I guess for him, it would be okay to have a vasectomy. But I feel sort of funny bending the rules like that.

The amount of guilt is a lot...

Interesting. I assumed from your OP that you converted because of your husband. Why did you choose to convert to Catholicism?

Kind of a long story. I was raised in the evangelical church, but had a lot of Catholic family members so went to mass and other Catholic events periodically. I always loved the beauty of the liturgy and the traditions. I fell away from any kind of organized religion for a while. As an adult, I began to reconnect with my faith and didn't resonate with the church I'd grown up in, so I became Catholic. I was young and will fully admit I was not as educated as I should have been on this.

So why not find a new church?

Why not respect OP’s decision to return to the Catholic Church?

It's not a matter of not respecting OP's decision. It's just making a suggestion.

I’m the OP and I didn’t take offense at this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I’m certainly not going to be brainwashed by the Church of DCUM.

No -- It's much better to study religions and come to your own conclusion. Listening to the voices on DCUM can be part of that study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right on the facts as presented by the Roman church. Confession is valid when one has a contrite heart and "full purpose of amendment of life". Obviously you have a soft heart, but you do not intend to conform you life to RC teaching on this issue.

But be comforted. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The Roman church may well be wrong on this issue. They say they are infallible on doctrine, but the rest of Christendom disagrees. You are trusting Christ to stand in your place at judgment not only for those sins that you have carefully documented during confession, but also for errors in judgment and weakness of the flesh and will.

Obviously you're not Catholic, if you're calling it "The Roman Church." Catholics don't call it that. Only people dissing it call it "the Roman Church."

I'm obviously not Roman Catholic. But, like many Protestants, I don't think that the Roman Catholic church has a monopoly on the word "Catholic" or even on capitalizing it. I hold the standard Protestant view that all who are in Christ are in the holy Catholic church (to borrow the words of the Apostles Creed). I'm not dissing the Roman Catholic church, but I also don't grant to it the view that it is *the* Catholic church. It is *part* of the Catholic church.

Cradle Catholic, now Lutheran, and I agree.

That's fair, but do you really want to be associated with the Catholic brand right now? Distance and differentiation would seem to be desirable based on the last 30 years.

Except for Sister Act (and even Sister Act II). Are you betting on the success of Sister Act 3 to elevate the standing of the Catholic brand?

Wtf are you talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I’m certainly not going to be brainwashed by the Church of DCUM.

And yet this is written here, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the responses.

I went to confession today. I am glad I went but was essentially told to resolve the birth control issue before having relations with my spouse again. So I'm in a challenging situation now.

Are you and your spouse done having children?

If so, I know many in my parents’ generation that had their tubes tied or spouse had a vasectomy. They went to confession and were absolved but were not required to get a reversal.

We do not have children. Ironically, we are planning to start trying for children in the next year or so! But this will be an ongoing issue until I'm not able to have children.

My spouse is not Catholic. So I guess for him, it would be okay to have a vasectomy. But I feel sort of funny bending the rules like that.

The amount of guilt is a lot...

Interesting. I assumed from your OP that you converted because of your husband. Why did you choose to convert to Catholicism?

Kind of a long story. I was raised in the evangelical church, but had a lot of Catholic family members so went to mass and other Catholic events periodically. I always loved the beauty of the liturgy and the traditions. I fell away from any kind of organized religion for a while. As an adult, I began to reconnect with my faith and didn't resonate with the church I'd grown up in, so I became Catholic. I was young and will fully admit I was not as educated as I should have been on this.

So why not find a new church?

Why not respect OP’s decision to return to the Catholic Church?

The same way we don't want to respect people's decisions to return to drug use, self harm, or worse. We would try to help them get over that, not applaud it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the responses.

I went to confession today. I am glad I went but was essentially told to resolve the birth control issue before having relations with my spouse again. So I'm in a challenging situation now.

Congrats on making it to Confession and welcome home. In terms of resolving issues regarding birth control, I would encourage you to talk with your priest outside Confession (maybe make an appointment to see him) and ask for some guidance/resources on learning about the Church’s teachings on birth control/contraception. I would also encourage you to pray throughout this for understanding. On this forum, you will get a lot of posters who advocate for not following the Church’s teachings. I would suggest disregarding their remarks and work instead on beginning to live your Catholic Faith again within the Church. You are in my prayers. God bless you.

It's easy enough to learn the church's rules on birth control -- only the natural "rhythm" method is allowed. It's the cause of many Catholic births.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I’m certainly not going to be brainwashed by the Church of DCUM.

And yet this is written here, right?

Posting here and accepting the advice of people who hate the faith I belong to are two very different things.