Don't interview me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can she both be hardcore interviewing you and at the same time not trying to get to know you at all? Sounds like thats exactly what she was trying to do?

Is engaging in conversation now too difficult for men?

When women "interview" men they are not interested in their responses, they are fishing for red flags. You cannot have a genuine connection with someone if you are waiting for gotchas.

What’s wrong with this? Should we not identify any red flags immediately? I’m very confused as to why you’re advocating for… not looking for red flags.

Dating is dangerously for women. One wrong rejection and you could end up dead. If you cannot understand why women would want to get the basic red flags out of the way early, you should not be allowed around women.

And your response exactly shows why men are *scared* as well. I really hope a lot of you moms on this forum *coach* your sons before they start dating because both men and women are on edge and there is mistrust. Women have very legitimate reasons because of all the psychos around..And men shouldn't be punished if they are frustrated that they are considered psycho until proven otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound dramatic. Stop dating.

Have you done OLD? I have been married for nearly two decades but still shudder when I think of my OLD experience. It is a long, hard slog. People are rarely how they appear in their profiles -- and I am not talking about deliberate deception, though there is some of that, too, but just that it is so hard to get a sense of people from profiles. Anyway, just saying, i think OP just wants to vent because he is tired of the process. He was probably excited about this woman and thought they would be a good fit and then the date was terrible. It is not that deep. Just a vent.

OP here thanks all for responding. I did have high hopes, but in person she was just a different person. Perhaps "interview" is the wrong term to use. You know the feeling when you are talking with someone and all they do is talk about themselves without taking a break as if they memorized what they wanted to say and wanted to dump it all out asap.

Anyways I am done with OLD. I'll try my luck in person. Height and look are not enough. I am 6'1 and not bad looking. And in my post I didn't judge all women. I just said that particualr woman. I just needed to vent.

GET A THERAPIST. There's a theme in all your posts, bro. It's normal to need to be heard, and pathological to expect strangers to be a willing audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can she both be hardcore interviewing you and at the same time not trying to get to know you at all? Sounds like thats exactly what she was trying to do?

Is engaging in conversation now too difficult for men?

When women "interview" men they are not interested in their responses, they are fishing for red flags. You cannot have a genuine connection with someone if you are waiting for gotchas.

What’s wrong with this? Should we not identify any red flags immediately? I’m very confused as to why you’re advocating for… not looking for red flags.

Dating is dangerously for women. One wrong rejection and you could end up dead. If you cannot understand why women would want to get the basic red flags out of the way early, you should not be allowed around women.

And your response exactly shows why men are *scared* as well. I really hope a lot of you moms on this forum *coach* your sons before they start dating because both men and women are on edge and there is mistrust. Women have very legitimate reasons because of all the psychos around..And men shouldn't be punished if they are frustrated that they are considered psycho until proven otherwise.

Taking your frustration with your peers out on your potential dates is psycho behavior, so it sounds like you proved facts with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can she both be hardcore interviewing you and at the same time not trying to get to know you at all? Sounds like thats exactly what she was trying to do?

Is engaging in conversation now too difficult for men?

When women "interview" men they are not interested in their responses, they are fishing for red flags. You cannot have a genuine connection with someone if you are waiting for gotchas.

What’s wrong with this? Should we not identify any red flags immediately? I’m very confused as to why you’re advocating for… not looking for red flags.

Dating is dangerously for women. One wrong rejection and you could end up dead. If you cannot understand why women would want to get the basic red flags out of the way early, you should not be allowed around women.

And your response exactly shows why men are *scared* as well. I really hope a lot of you moms on this forum *coach* your sons before they start dating because both men and women are on edge and there is mistrust. Women have very legitimate reasons because of all the psychos around..And men shouldn't be punished if they are frustrated that they are considered psycho until proven otherwise.

You sound like a predator.

[Anonymous]

Wherever you find your person from, don't commit before going through phases of getting to know them, going exclusive, traveling together and living together. It should take you more than two years to propose or say yes to a proposal. Before every season together twice, you two don't really know each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have a long list of requirements for a man to meet in order to be considered worthy.

There's a reason so many women are single.

You make being single sound like a death sentence. You shouldn't promise a good time.

[Anonymous]

OP here thanks all for responding. I did have high hopes, but in person she was just a different person. Perhaps "interview" is the wrong term to use. You know the feeling when you are talking with someone and all they do is talk about themselves without taking a break as if they memorized what they wanted to say and wanted to dump it all out asap.

She was probably nervous and also immature. I can get why you concluded she's not for you, but don't get why this has led you to swear off all OLD.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you two were suited. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Fair.
Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't interview me! She didn't really try to get to know me, I felt like it was an interview. And I felt like she was just there for her, she didn't really try to get to know me. It was mostly about her. It should be about us. Am I wrong? Isn't a first date the opportunity to know about each other. She spent a lot of time taking about herself which is okay. But I am disappointed because I had so much to share

There won't be a second date.

It sounds like you are new to dating. Women interview. it's a common thing. You need to steer the conversation, ask your own questions and not let her control totally control the conversation. You can also give very short answers to her questions, as if it was a bullet point on a resume. You don't need to elaborate. Example, yes am divorced as of 2021. Yes, we have two children. Why? It just didn't work out but we are amicable now. The more she digs into things you didn't want to talk about, the less information you provide and the shorter your answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't interview me! She didn't really try to get to know me, I felt like it was an interview. And I felt like she was just there for her, she didn't really try to get to know me. It was mostly about her. It should be about us. Am I wrong? Isn't a first date the opportunity to know about each other. She spent a lot of time taking about herself which is okay. But I am disappointed because I had so much to share

There won't be a second date.

It sounds like you are new to dating. Women interview. it's a common thing. You need to steer the conversation, ask your own questions and not let her control totally control the conversation. You can also give very short answers to her questions, as if it was a bullet point on a resume. You don't need to elaborate. Example, yes am divorced as of 2021. Yes, we have two children. Why? It just didn't work out but we are amicable now. The more she digs into things you didn't want to talk about, the less information you provide and the shorter your answers.

Wow. It's like a free "How to be Sus AF when you don't need to be" class.

If it's not an issue, you'll speak freely about it. If it's an issue, you'll play this guarded little game.

Don't do this if you want another date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't interview me! She didn't really try to get to know me, I felt like it was an interview. And I felt like she was just there for her, she didn't really try to get to know me. It was mostly about her. It should be about us. Am I wrong? Isn't a first date the opportunity to know about each other. She spent a lot of time taking about herself which is okay. But I am disappointed because I had so much to share

There won't be a second date.

It sounds like you are new to dating. Women interview. it's a common thing. You need to steer the conversation, ask your own questions and not let her control totally control the conversation. You can also give very short answers to her questions, as if it was a bullet point on a resume. You don't need to elaborate. Example, yes am divorced as of 2021. Yes, we have two children. Why? It just didn't work out but we are amicable now. The more she digs into things you didn't want to talk about, the less information you provide and the shorter your answers.

Why would you bother dating if you don’t want to discuss your dating history? How is “give her less information” helpful advice for people trying to get to know one another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can she both be hardcore interviewing you and at the same time not trying to get to know you at all? Sounds like thats exactly what she was trying to do?

Is engaging in conversation now too difficult for men?

When women "interview" men they are not interested in their responses, they are fishing for red flags. You cannot have a genuine connection with someone if you are waiting for gotchas.

What’s wrong with this? Should we not identify any red flags immediately? I’m very confused as to why you’re advocating for… not looking for red flags.

Dating is dangerously for women. One wrong rejection and you could end up dead. If you cannot understand why women would want to get the basic red flags out of the way early, you should not be allowed around women.

And your response exactly shows why men are *scared* as well. I really hope a lot of you moms on this forum *coach* your sons before they start dating because both men and women are on edge and there is mistrust. Women have very legitimate reasons because of all the psychos around..And men shouldn't be punished if they are frustrated that they are considered psycho until proven otherwise.

You sound like a predator.

WTF? Why does the above poster sound like a predator. Uptight, much? Signed. A female.

[Anonymous]

Many singles are socially awkward. Most communication is nonverbal. She might smile, blush, sit next to you, or not. You need to manage the date. When this stuff happens, alarms should go off in your head. "Danger - prepare to abort!"

At this point, you can refuse to answer. Say "Let's play a game" and change the conversation or activity. Get more drinks, switch the seating arrangement, play "Marry, kill, f*ck." Don't tolerate disrespect or weirdness. In extreme cases, tell her "I'm not here to audition." Men do the asking, planning, and paying. You only have the power to walk. It sucks to shuffle your schedule, look presentable, and drive to the date. But if you don't end a decent percentage of online dates early, then you are probably doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many singles are socially awkward. Most communication is nonverbal. She might smile, blush, sit next to you, or not. You need to manage the date. When this stuff happens, alarms should go off in your head. "Danger - prepare to abort!"

At this point, you can refuse to answer. Say "Let's play a game" and change the conversation or activity. Get more drinks, switch the seating arrangement, play "Marry, kill, f*ck." Don't tolerate disrespect or weirdness. In extreme cases, tell her "I'm not here to audition." Men do the asking, planning, and paying. You only have the power to walk. It sucks to shuffle your schedule, look presentable, and drive to the date. But if you don't end a decent percentage of online dates early, then you are probably doing something wrong.

Eww. PP will be single for life.