You’re still young and get married again and yes, have a baby. You don’t need to resort to sperm donors at IVF. |
I was raised by a single mother, best mother in the world, gave me everything, including a world class education. And we we're poor. OP, you can become a great mother even without a man, not saying it will be easy raising a child, but can be done. Good luck and God bless u. |
My friend froze her eggs at 35 and just had a baby at almost 46 (with a 40 y.o. partner) |
My niece was married to a real jerk for about a decade and they divorced when she was about 36. She remarried to a very nice guy at 38 and they had a baby at 41.
But it’s also totally okay not to have kids. Really. It does not define you as a woman. |
I'm so sorry OP. Cheaters suck. He sucks. Divorce sucks. I'm going through it now too. I love my kids, but wish I never ever had to see my ex again. It would help so much with healing. instead i feel like I'm being retraumatized every day. i will forever be tethered to this b*stard due to my kids.
But still have a long life ahead, and can be a mom if you want- hopefully with a future, worthy man. Maybe freeze your eggs now, just in case. I wish you healing and peace |
Just have unprotected sex with some hot dude while you are ovulating. Don't tell him. Be a single mom and live your best life. |
+1. For me, as a mom who divorced with kids, it's not so much that I lost 50% time with them, it's that I saddled them with a crappy dad. A dad (or prospective dad) who cheats on the wife/mom is not a guy who is going to be a reliable father in the broad sense of the term -- financial provider, connected, authentic, able to respond and prioritize another's needs, able to support the mom, able to stick to things long term, etc. -- although they may have their circus dad moments (which are not enough whether you are a married mom or a single mom). I wouldn't look at this as the end of a dream OP, I would look at it as the end of your delusion that this would work out into your dream. Personally, if there are no kids, I would move out and file tomorrow. The sooner you get this crappy guy out of your life, the sooner you can progress toward your dreams. |
38 is not too late. |
+1 |
Omg no Children do not need mothers over 40 |
It doesn’t matter. I had my second kid (unplanned) at 37 from intercourse one time in nearly 3 years. I have several friends that had first kids at 40 and second and third kids up to age 45. |
It's not the end, there are other options out there for you. I suggest you get yourself into therapy and decide what you want the rest of your life to look like. |
+1000 to all of this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, OP. Don’t let him take away your dream of being a mother. You can do it on your own if that’s what you want. |
I wouldn't want to have kids without my husband. I don't think I could do it. Not saying OP can't, just saying not all of us are married to losers. |
OBVIOUSLY, it’s easier to have kids with an involved and equal partner than it is to have kids as a single mom. And usually - and definitely in cases like the OP’s situation - it’s easier to have a kid as a single mom than it is to be saddled with a worthless partner. |