Reply to How to make peace with not being a wife and mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll echo everyone else. I know you feel old and you've wasted 5 years, but all things considered you're still relatively young and you're about to free yourself for the rest of your life. Go read about all the divorces and cheating that happen in marriages WITH kids. You'll feel much better about your decision to divorce, live your life on your terms, and be a mom all by yourself and get to make all the decisions and avoid conflict and disappointment. You'll build your own family. And later if you're bored you can revisit having a man in your life. [/quote]

Also I'll be very clear about this. I understand you think the version of divorce you are facing right now is particularly hard because you don't yet have children, and that is true. But for many many women who are divorcing with children, it is excruciating because they are losing 50% of their children's time due to join custody. If I could go back and do it again, knowing what I know now, I would choose to have kids on my own because I know I can count on myself and I would never have to face losing half my child's young life to the unilateral self-serving decisions of a spineless cheater.[/quote]

+1.  For me, as a mom who divorced with kids, it's not so much that I lost 50% time with them, it's that I saddled them with a crappy dad.  A dad (or prospective dad) who cheats on the wife/mom is not a guy who is going to be a reliable father in the broad sense of the term -- financial provider, connected, authentic, able to respond and prioritize another's needs, able to support the mom, able to stick to things long term, etc. -- although they may have their circus dad moments (which are not enough whether you are a married mom or a single mom).

I wouldn't look at this as the end of a dream OP, I would look at it as the end of your delusion that this would work out into your dream.  Personally, if there are no kids, I would move out and file tomorrow.  The sooner you get this crappy guy out of your life, the sooner you can progress toward your dreams.  [/quote]

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