I thought men didn’t care how much women make..

[Anonymous]

My kids are 22 and 25 and they care what their partner makes. They expect equal partners.

They’ve also had a family member who was left a widow without a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

lol sure.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like you have just met a few men thus far who value monetary value more than you do.

They both seem like insufferable jerks imo & I wouldn’t even continue seeing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

They were honest and straightforward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A real man wouldn’t care. You were smart to leave.

Actually a real man looking for marriage would. Someone passing time wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

[Anonymous]

Its not an option any more in this economy. Also with women wanting men to equally share life's load, what's the point in having a low income partner? Only men earning $500k and up can do that and only for someone who can manage home front and let them prioritize their career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought men didn’t care about a woman’s income but I ran across a man who does. I went on several dates with a guy. Our last date he asked me how much I made. After telling him, he told me he usually dates women who earn more than I do and needs a partner who can keep up with his lifestyle. Another date simply asked how much I made and said he required a certain level of income. I ended the date and left. I don’t make a huge amount compared to dc standards but I do well. I’m shocked because I was always under the assumption that most men don’t care about income as long as there is attraction and good sex.

Your assumptions still hold. Most men don’t care. Your date is an exception. I’m assuming he is also young.
Young men are raised to think like women these nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Low earning but equality demanding women make life difficult men. I guess if men earn low, they are better off with high earning professional women, if they earn high, better off with SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its not an option any more in this economy. Also with women wanting men to equally share life's load, what's the point in having a low income partner? Only men earning $500k and up can do that and only for someone who can manage home front and let them prioritize their career.

This is not true. DC people are some of the most dense people. They live in a bubble. Many families survive on one income way less than $500k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low earning but equality demanding women make life difficult men. I guess if men earn low, they are better off with high earning professional women, if they earn high, better off with SAHM.

OPs $150k isn’t low earning. It’s far above the national average. Even DC is median HHI is below OPs income.

[Anonymous]

Hon, I was a teacher making under $50, and I got a lovely gift. Your income is high enough that it should not be a barrier to a relationship. You were right to leave. As the pp said, they were looking for an equal partner in earning, but likely not in invisible labor. The second you have kids, one of you will need to step back and that person will start earning fewer promotions. A good guy knows that and isn’t concerned if you make less than him.

You’re young enough that you can keep looking. I went on over thirty guest dates before I met my husband. I’m sure it’s even harder now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Why shouldn't they care?

Even if you're done raising kids and paid for college and all of that, perhaps he wants to travel and do things that cost money. He doesn't want to foot the entire bill or stay at home because you can't afford it. It makes sense to care.

I’m 27.

Do you care how much your partner makes?

I’ll be real with you OP. I’m a 42 yo female making 300k, DH 200k.

At your age I felt the same. Who cares if we both make 100k if we’re in love and happy. The reality of life is that it’s extraordinarily expensive. 200k and 600k HHI, especially when you have kids, are worlds apart in terms of quality of life.

You’re at the age where you should start focusing really hard on increasing your earnings. I haven’t read the whole thread but I’m assuming you make around $100k. You have time, but this world is a mess and I highly encourage you to get a move on for the sake of your future self and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you OP? Why shouldn't they care?

Even if you're done raising kids and paid for college and all of that, perhaps he wants to travel and do things that cost money. He doesn't want to foot the entire bill or stay at home because you can't afford it. It makes sense to care.

I’m 27.

Do you care how much your partner makes?

I’ll be real with you OP. I’m a 42 yo female making 300k, DH 200k.

At your age I felt the same. Who cares if we both make 100k if we’re in love and happy. The reality of life is that it’s extraordinarily expensive. 200k and 600k HHI, especially when you have kids, are worlds apart in terms of quality of life.

You’re at the age where you should start focusing really hard on increasing your earnings. I haven’t read the whole thread but I’m assuming you make around $100k. You have time, but this world is a mess and I highly encourage you to get a move on for the sake of your future self and family.

I make 150-180k. That’s the top of my earnings. I can’t go any higher in my after field. I like my job and think I make plenty of money.

[Anonymous]

Of course they do. Despite dcum delusional view and pretend millionaires, the mode HHI in this area, including nice places like Mclean, is only around 250k. At 250k, it matters. The men who say it doesn't make their wives live in split levels, shop at Macys, go on vacation in North Carolina, and send their kids to va tech.