Any "older" parents ever consider "starting over" & trying for one more baby?

[Anonymous]

No way. But I dislike parenting and don’t find it enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

Oh so now we're blaming autism on parental age? WTF?

Reading is fundamental. No one is saying it’s parental age. It’s just rolling the dice and they could always end up with severely autistic child.

This could have happened with one of her first two, also.

[Anonymous]

I had my kids “late”. 37 and 42. I’m 46 now and if were 5 years younger I would have s third but man - I AM EXHAUSTED. And corporate work in your mid 40’s is draining. I’m so over it all.

[Anonymous]

I think very few parents regret doing this. I thought about it, but I enjoy having more time with my tween and teen now. And for my vanity’s sake, I didn’t want to be the 45 year old mom surrounded by 35 year olds with a kid in first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 37 and I have two boys who are 10 & 7. I have felt like we are *done* for years but I've changed so much as a person and parent since my kids were little. Our lives have changed significantly, and I now work in a job that closely aligns with my kids' school schedule, where I get my full summers off. We live in a single-family home with a nice yard and have developed great relationships in our community. My parenting style has changed drastically. Practically speaking, I know that adding a 3rd child so that I would have a newborn, elementary kid, and middle schooler would probably be a terrible idea but part of me questions it anyways. I love all the different ages. Have any of you questioned this??

I had my first two at 29 & 31. Then a third at 36. Not quite as large a gap as you'd have. There have been moments of wondering if we should have done the easier thing and not had a third (like when I was responsible for schooling the older two while having a toddler during the covid shutdown!). But, the youngest is now 8, and we are so happy with our family. I know I would have regretted not trying for a third. I had a lot of the same feelings as you, wanting to do it again with the hindsight I'd gained with the first two. I love going through all the milestones with the younger child one last time, and it's nice that the kids have different relationships with each other... I think they all benefit from that. Also, if I had a job that aligned with school schedules and summer off, it would be even better!

[Anonymous]

I had two boys in elementary and went for the girl at age 38 and had her right before my 39th birthday. Know many women who have kids in their late thirties whether it is their only, first, second, third or fourth.

I loved the age gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think very few parents regret doing this. I thought about it, but I enjoy having more time with my tween and teen now. And for my vanity’s sake, I didn’t want to be the 45 year old mom surrounded by 35 year olds with a kid in first grade.

This was me except the moms all assumed we are around the same age. My youngest keeps me feeling younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At your age there’s a higher chance you could end up with twins. Are you ready for that? And they could be special needs. I know people that’s happened to.

Yes to the potential for twins! There's so much hand wringing about older moms and fertility this kind of slips under the radar. I had my twins at 40 and there were several older moms in my multiples mom group who were similar. I'm sure everyone assumes we all used IVF but...nope. It's like a fire sale on eggs the older you get. That said, I wouldn't let that alone deter me if I were OP and everything made sense financially. It could actually be cool to have two "sets" of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think very few parents regret doing this. I thought about it, but I enjoy having more time with my tween and teen now. And for my vanity’s sake, I didn’t want to be the 45 year old mom surrounded by 35 year olds with a kid in first grade.

I'm the 44 year old mom with a kid in 2nd grade, so close to your hypothetical. And honestly, most moms of the other kids seem to be in their 40s. I actually felt like the odd one out when I had my first child at age 29. People called me a "baby" all the time, ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think very few parents regret doing this. I thought about it, but I enjoy having more time with my tween and teen now. And for my vanity’s sake, I didn’t want to be the 45 year old mom surrounded by 35 year olds with a kid in first grade.

I'm the 44 year old mom with a kid in 2nd grade, so close to your hypothetical. And honestly, most moms of the other kids seem to be in their 40s. I actually felt like the odd one out when I had my first child at age 29. People called me a "baby" all the time, ugh.

That poster must not be in the DC area. The assumption that most moms would have had their kids in their 20s doesn't really hold here. Like you say, if anything it's the opposite. It is what it is, but a 45 year old mom of a 1st grader would not stick out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think very few parents regret doing this. I thought about it, but I enjoy having more time with my tween and teen now. And for my vanity’s sake, I didn’t want to be the 45 year old mom surrounded by 35 year olds with a kid in first grade.

I'm the 44 year old mom with a kid in 2nd grade, so close to your hypothetical. And honestly, most moms of the other kids seem to be in their 40s. I actually felt like the odd one out when I had my first child at age 29. People called me a "baby" all the time, ugh.

That poster must not be in the DC area. The assumption that most moms would have had their kids in their 20s doesn't really hold here. Like you say, if anything it's the opposite. It is what it is, but a 45 year old mom of a 1st grader would not stick out.

I'm 37 and I'm maybe even on the younger side for first grade moms for my kid's class. One mom is 50 (she doesn't look it at all).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

37 is not that young at all. I was so glad I had all my children in my 20s. Empty nester at 43. Some people in my neighborhood have their first child at 43 and I just chuckle to myself.

Sounds like you’re actually not that secure with your choices if you “chuckle to yourself”. I knew a bunch of people who had kids in their 20s and they missed a lot. Glad I had mine in my 30s after I had some time to just be an adult.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of posts by parents who love the large age gap but has anyone been part of the older kids whose parents had another kid much later? From the kid perspective were you close with your youngest sibling or not until adulthood.

Most people I know who were the kids in this scenario did not appreciate the change in family nearly as much as their parents proclaimed they did. They also didn’t have much of a relationship until they were all adults due to being at such different stages of life. Some resented being expected to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

37 is not that young at all. I was so glad I had all my children in my 20s. Empty nester at 43. Some people in my neighborhood have their first child at 43 and I just chuckle to myself.

What are you chuckling about? So confusing.

[Anonymous]

I have an 11 and 8 year old and recently had a pregnancy scare and was stunned to find that both me and my husband were so excited. I know we would be good parents this time around, there is no mystery, our oldest already takes himself to and from school and is more independent, so the logistics aren't as hard as having 3 young kids at once.

However mine was just a scare. And I'm 44, so the risks are really pretty bad. But if I were 37, I would absolutely do it.