Any "older" parents ever consider "starting over" & trying for one more baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With a rising senior in high school
And rising sophomore in college (born when I was 38), I can’t imagine it.

My husband and I were just talking about imagine starting all over. We were very very present and loved every stage—but good God if someone told me I had to go through infancy, toddler, preschool, etc all over again…no! We are finally enjoying such freedom. We are close with our kids and they are very close to one another,

We have neighbors with a 1.5 year old and we have been seeing the beginning (and their stress) and no thanks. I’m ready for coming and going whenever I want and travel not encumbered by school schedules.

+1

Being 55-56 at HS graduation, 60 at college graduation….gets mentally exhausting at college application time.

This was me with kid #1 graduating high school in 2024. Kid 2 is in 10th grade. At my current age, I'd still feel good about parenting elementary age kids. Any age that could be reasoned with and past the hands-on physical assistance stage.

[Anonymous]

I personally would not do it bc at 46 and a near empty nester I am tired, dealing with peri, hormones…The idea of having a youngish child now seems very tough for me and I am ready for a break and to take care of my health. Had I had a ton of family help with my two dcs or a lot of money to outsource and have childcare then I am sure I might feel differently.

[Anonymous]

No.

I’m done with navigating preschool and college apps and all that.

I am having a blast with spouse and the dog…and college kids when they are home on breaks.

[Anonymous]

Not having to worry about getting a sitter anytime we want to go out as a couple: heaven. Being spontaneous again: priceless

[Anonymous]

Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in perimenopause, menopause and beyond?

You are 37. Have a baby if you want a baby. Many people do this.

Yeah.

I had my first at 35 and second 1 month after turning 38 (37 almost entire pregnancy). Like the other poster I’m 55 with a rising HS Senior which is what you would be if you got pregnant today. Going through perimenopause/menopause with terms is no joke. I’m still getting rogue periods- and the hormones. It will be different this go around, OP. You will be 60 at college graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

Oh so now we're blaming autism on parental age? WTF?

Parental age is a well established risk factor. More pronounced in 40s and 50s, especially for men, but also an increased risk for mothers in their 30s.

Obviously, statistically speaking the child is more likely to not have autism than to have it, but the point to OP is that she is thinking of all the ways her experience might be easier this time, yet there is no guarantee the next child would not have a disability. I was 37 when I had my child with autism and although his disability is not severe, and he is super sweet and easy to parent (most of our problems come from lack of accommodations and support, not his behavior) his affect on my life has been profound in both positive and negative ways.

Not saying don't do it, just saying it is something to consider.

[Anonymous]

You will regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

37 is not that young at all. I was so glad I had all my children in my 20s. Empty nester at 43. Some people in my neighborhood have their first child at 43 and I just chuckle to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

37 is not that young at all. I was so glad I had all my children in my 20s. Empty nester at 43. Some people in my neighborhood have their first child at 43 and I just chuckle to myself.

You’re nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had my only at 41. It aged me quickly. The nice thing is that you’re younger and know the ropes.

37 is not that young at all. I was so glad I had all my children in my 20s. Empty nester at 43. Some people in my neighborhood have their first child at 43 and I just chuckle to myself.

So now you’re finally getting to figure out who you are. I’m happy for you. It must’ve been weird raising children before establishing your identity.

[Anonymous]

At your age there’s a higher chance you could end up with twins. Are you ready for that? And they could be special needs. I know people that’s happened to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 37 and I have two boys who are 10 & 7. I have felt like we are *done* for years but I've changed so much as a person and parent since my kids were little. Our lives have changed significantly, and I now work in a job that closely aligns with my kids' school schedule, where I get my full summers off. We live in a single-family home with a nice yard and have developed great relationships in our community. My parenting style has changed drastically. Practically speaking, I know that adding a 3rd child so that I would have a newborn, elementary kid, and middle schooler would probably be a terrible idea but part of me questions it anyways. I love all the different ages. Have any of you questioned this?? [/quote

No do not do this selfishness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a rising senior in high school
And rising sophomore in college (born when I was 38), I can’t imagine it.

My husband and I were just talking about imagine starting all over. We were very very present and loved every stage—but good God if someone told me I had to go through infancy, toddler, preschool, etc all over again…no! We are finally enjoying such freedom. We are close with our kids and they are very close to one another,

Ummmmmm
OP was asking about having kids in mid twenties and then mid thirties

Not late thirties and freaking mid fifty.

We have neighbors with a 1.5 year old and we have been seeing the beginning (and their stress) and no thanks. I’m ready for coming and going whenever I want and travel not encumbered by school schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 37 and I have two boys who are 10 & 7. I have felt like we are *done* for years but I've changed so much as a person and parent since my kids were little. Our lives have changed significantly, and I now work in a job that closely aligns with my kids' school schedule, where I get my full summers off. We live in a single-family home with a nice yard and have developed great relationships in our community. My parenting style has changed drastically. Practically speaking, I know that adding a 3rd child so that I would have a newborn, elementary kid, and middle schooler would probably be a terrible idea but part of me questions it anyways. I love all the different ages. Have any of you questioned this??

OP just be honest and say you’re trying for a girl. That’s the real reason you’re asking this. Will you be happy if you end up with another boy?