Any "older" parents ever consider "starting over" & trying for one more baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

This is what happened to a good friend of mine and it changed the entire dynamic of the family, especially their three older kids. I know they love their youngest but it truly changed everything for the family

Yes, OP. My autistic dc is a hurricane. You can’t test for it. Only go for another if you have the resources to support a needy child.

[Anonymous]

Love how you think this is such a novel idea, OP. I know a TON of people who had their first set of children when they were very young and wanted a "redo" now that they have matured and are in their 30s. Incredibly common, and those children that we know that are the youngest are all really sweet and have been doted on by their parents and older siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

Oh so now we're blaming autism on parental age? WTF?

[Anonymous]

You are currently at an age where the kids are pretty easy. However, in just 3 years, it becomes increasingly more difficult. Imagine having a toddler to deal with on top of teens. I think you should focus on the kids you have.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in perimenopause, menopause and beyond?

You are 37. Have a baby if you want a baby. Many people do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

Oh so now we're blaming autism on parental age? WTF?

Reading is fundamental. No one is saying it’s parental age. It’s just rolling the dice and they could always end up with severely autistic child.

[Anonymous]

My parents were 40 when they had me at 30. The first several years were bliss. We all loved having a little baby. She was extremely difficult though and I think my parents were tired and too old to deal with it (I realize 40 isn’t that old but for them it was). I’m sure my sister would have been difficult even if she was born when they were 25.

We love having our 3rd. I think 3 kids is the perfect number. Not a small family. It’s a “big family” in 2025 when you factor in how much parental attention kids get and how many activities. Holidays are soooooo much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in perimenopause, menopause and beyond?

You are 37. Have a baby if you want a baby. Many people do this.

I kinda agree with this. It’s a very mid/late 30s thing. OP, women in their 40s+ are all gonna rile their eyes at this. It’s really a convo that come up over and over and over again in the kid-based forums. We are not a collection of women obsessed with children. You go through menopause even if you’ve had none. Maybe stick to kid based forums for this discussion. Plenty of moms will engage this with passion elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no guarantee the baby would be healthy. I know a family that did this and ended up with a severely autistic child.

Oh so now we're blaming autism on parental age? WTF?

Reading is fundamental. No one is saying it’s parental age. It’s just rolling the dice and they could always end up with severely autistic child.

+1 or substitute any other serious issue, like a birth injury. Anything can happen. (Although ... I thought a link between autism and dad's age was established?)

37 is still pretty young, I was considering kid #2 at that age. So in that sense, go for it. But you should consider the possibility of disabling injury of any of your kids. E.g., do you want baby #3 more than you want to provide extra security to your first 2 and your grandkids? More than retiring young and being an involved grandparent?

FWIW, I know several empty nesters who chose to foster kids for a year plus. It was rewarding but very hard. At 45 most people suddenly feel a lot older.

[Anonymous]

My brother had kids at 23 and 24 and when his wife was 37 she wanted one more so she did. The age gap is wild, but the second kid was so easy. They had so much money compared to the first two.

[Anonymous]

Do-over kids now you have time and money. What does that say to the older ones? They weren't a fun enough experience and aren't enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a rising senior in high school
And rising sophomore in college (born when I was 38), I can’t imagine it.

My husband and I were just talking about imagine starting all over. We were very very present and loved every stage—but good God if someone told me I had to go through infancy, toddler, preschool, etc all over again…no! We are finally enjoying such freedom. We are close with our kids and they are very close to one another,

We have neighbors with a 1.5 year old and we have been seeing the beginning (and their stress) and no thanks. I’m ready for coming and going whenever I want and travel not encumbered by school schedules.

+1

Being 55-56 at HS graduation, 60 at college graduation….gets mentally exhausting at college application time.

[Anonymous]

At this age- will you be able to handle it if kid has special needs or is not as easy as your other kids? How will that affect other kids’ lives too?

Are you missing out on other things that could fill the void? New activities/hobbies? Self growth? Pets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a rising senior in high school
And rising sophomore in college (born when I was 38), I can’t imagine it.

My husband and I were just talking about imagine starting all over. We were very very present and loved every stage—but good God if someone told me I had to go through infancy, toddler, preschool, etc all over again…no! We are finally enjoying such freedom. We are close with our kids and they are very close to one another,

We have neighbors with a 1.5 year old and we have been seeing the beginning (and their stress) and no thanks. I’m ready for coming and going whenever I want and travel not encumbered by school schedules.

This is not the OP’s situation at all. Why even respond with this? OP has fairly young kids and she had them much younger than you had your kids. “Starting over” at 37 is different than starting over at your age which is around late 50s. Also not an option for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do-over kids now you have time and money. What does that say to the older ones? They weren't a fun enough experience and aren't enough?

It was so fun it's worth doing again.