Is it okay for DS to wear a beanie to Easter Mass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly if you're religious at all you know that God would not judge

This is the right answer

Run from any church that answers differently

Also college is pretty young for this. There might be medical treatments which will help his self-esteem

Yes, we have urged him to discuss options with our family doctor, who is a charismatic middle aged man. But he chickens out at office visits and makes up an excuse why he didn’t ask. What more can we do? He’s a 20 year old young adult.

Right now just trying to make him feel more comfortable about this weekend.

Next doc visit he has scheduled call ahead and ask to put a note in your son’s file to the doc to ask him if he’s interested in hearing about hair loss treatments. A good doc will handle this well.

This is an adult patient, yes a young adult. Their mom shouldn’t be calling ahead for notes to be put in their file.

Id send a note ahead for my adult child or even my spouse if I thought it would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are a lot of agnostics or Unitarians answering. Yes, it will looks odd. In Catholic Church men aren’t supposed to wear hats unless they are a bishop. Really no one cares if he is balding but at least some people will care if he’s wearing a hat. Would he also stay home if he had a bad rash on his face or a scar or felt fat? Most of us are unhappy with how we look most of the time but we still go out in public. I’m not sure what the solution is for tomorrow but the longer term solution is definitely not to decide to stay inside if he can’t cover up the thing that he thinks is unattractive.

ahh, the good ole catholic way: guilt and shame -- it's good for you!
I'd let him stay home before I forced him to feel terribly self conscious.

Look I’m as liberal as they come and I barely even go to mass anymore. But if the question is about the rules at Catholic mass — the answer is that men don’t wear head coverings and many people there will consider it a sign of disrespect. The fact that he’s doing it because he’s balding (rather than just ignorant) kind of makes it worse. I am really sorry OP’s kid feels that crappy about himself. Church is one place he should definitely not feel like he needs to look good/sexy/virile though. Literally no one cares if you are ugly as sin. It’s mass, not a frat party. It’s not like you’re gonna pick up a girl (or guy, if that’s what he’s into) there.

So what do you do in the Catholic Church?

Ask people to provide proof that they aren’t going through chemotherapy or something before your just stare at your own prayer book and not someone's head.

So he sticks out. He should still go and this may help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's balding that badly, he needs to buzz it.

People only stare when guys are balding and trying to do terrible combovers or just have whisps everywhere.

No one cares if you're a 20 year old bald guy if you're rocking a buzz cut or shaved head. Trust me.

I was going to say, mom's job should be to make him feel good about who he is--not covering up. He needs to own it and move on with his life. Stop enabling and teach him to be proud of himself, however he looks.

This! The underlying problem is why does he feel ashamed of how he looks?

That judgement isn't coming from God, it's coming from people. One should not be ashamed of what God has created.

Then God should have given him more confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly if you're religious at all you know that God would not judge

This is the right answer

Run from any church that answers differently

Also college is pretty young for this. There might be medical treatments which will help his self-esteem

Yes, we have urged him to discuss options with our family doctor, who is a charismatic middle aged man. But he chickens out at office visits and makes up an excuse why he didn’t ask. What more can we do? He’s a 20 year old young adult.

Right now just trying to make him feel more comfortable about this weekend.

Next doc visit he has scheduled call ahead and ask to put a note in your son’s file to the doc to ask him if he’s interested in hearing about hair loss treatments. A good doc will handle this well.

This is an adult patient, yes a young adult. Their mom shouldn’t be calling ahead for notes to be put in their file.

Then don't do it for your own kids. But "Happens all the time" says doc office telephone answerer.

[Anonymous]

There hasn’t been a catholic “law” about this in years. When there was it was also “law” that women wear a head covering and that men and women be separated for mass. Most men don’t wear a hat, but neither do most women, by personal choice.

[Anonymous]

I would think he’s being disrespectful and not following the expected norm. Does he prefer that over me maybe noticing he’s losing his hair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think he’s being disrespectful and not following the expected norm. Does he prefer that over me maybe noticing he’s losing his hair?

I also meant to say “poor guy.”

[Anonymous]

Seems weird. He can sprinkle the mens powder cover up on his head. I see it used on the Regal Gentlemen youtube channel a lot, I enjoy his makeovers for balding guys

[Anonymous]

heres some powders https://www.menshealth.com/grooming/g40596173/best-hair-powder/

[Anonymous]

from watching lots of regal gentleman videos, it seems that going relatively short on top works best to hide baldness. Long/thin combovers are more obvious.

[Anonymous]

People who are being judgmental about clothing: this is why church membership is declining. This is a stupid hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are being judgmental about clothing: this is why church membership is declining. This is a stupid hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone have to be so pathetic now? "I have to wear a hat indoors IN CHURCH or the feels will be unbearable."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly if you're religious at all you know that God would not judge

This is the right answer

Run from any church that answers differently

Also college is pretty young for this. There might be medical treatments which will help his self-esteem

Yes, we have urged him to discuss options with our family doctor, who is a charismatic middle aged man. But he chickens out at office visits and makes up an excuse why he didn’t ask. What more can we do? He’s a 20 year old young adult.

Right now just trying to make him feel more comfortable about this weekend.

He's 20 years old. I would not say a thing about the beanie. Let him manage this. Don't buy him a beanie, don't say anything. Just let it be.

Agree. Jesus doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone have to be so pathetic now? "I have to wear a hat indoors IN CHURCH or the feels will be unbearable."

Why does everyone have to be so judgmental now? Just worry about YOURSELF.