Is it okay for DS to wear a beanie to Easter Mass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the Catholic tradition men don't wear hats to mass. But I think even the Pope would rather have someone attend with a baseball hat than not go to mass.

The pope wears a beanie at mass. So, yes.

[Anonymous]

I feel like there are a lot of agnostics or Unitarians answering. Yes, it will looks odd. In Catholic Church men aren’t supposed to wear hats unless they are a bishop. Really no one cares if he is balding but at least some people will care if he’s wearing a hat. Would he also stay home if he had a bad rash on his face or a scar or felt fat? Most of us are unhappy with how we look most of the time but we still go out in public. I’m not sure what the solution is for tomorrow but the longer term solution is definitely not to decide to stay inside if he can’t cover up the thing that he thinks is unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are a lot of agnostics or Unitarians answering. Yes, it will looks odd. In Catholic Church men aren’t supposed to wear hats unless they are a bishop. Really no one cares if he is balding but at least some people will care if he’s wearing a hat. Would he also stay home if he had a bad rash on his face or a scar or felt fat? Most of us are unhappy with how we look most of the time but we still go out in public. I’m not sure what the solution is for tomorrow but the longer term solution is definitely not to decide to stay inside if he can’t cover up the thing that he thinks is unattractive.

ahh, the good ole catholic way: guilt and shame -- it's good for you!
I'd let him stay home before I forced him to feel terribly self conscious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are a lot of agnostics or Unitarians answering. Yes, it will looks odd. In Catholic Church men aren’t supposed to wear hats unless they are a bishop. Really no one cares if he is balding but at least some people will care if he’s wearing a hat. Would he also stay home if he had a bad rash on his face or a scar or felt fat? Most of us are unhappy with how we look most of the time but we still go out in public. I’m not sure what the solution is for tomorrow but the longer term solution is definitely not to decide to stay inside if he can’t cover up the thing that he thinks is unattractive.

That varies wildly by parish. some are more casual and absolutely have men wearing hats at mass.

[Anonymous]

God will not judge but humans will.

[Anonymous]

I had a balding friend who wore a crocheted kufi hat to dressy occasions and it looked quite elegant and appropriate. But it did stand out from the crowd (much more than a balding head would) and most people assumed he was either ill or of another faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he's balding that badly, he needs to buzz it.

People only stare when guys are balding and trying to do terrible combovers or just have whisps everywhere.

No one cares if you're a 20 year old bald guy if you're rocking a buzz cut or shaved head. Trust me.

I was going to say, mom's job should be to make him feel good about who he is--not covering up. He needs to own it and move on with his life. Stop enabling and teach him to be proud of himself, however he looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly if you're religious at all you know that God would not judge

This is the right answer

Run from any church that answers differently

Also college is pretty young for this. There might be medical treatments which will help his self-esteem

Yes, we have urged him to discuss options with our family doctor, who is a charismatic middle aged man. But he chickens out at office visits and makes up an excuse why he didn’t ask. What more can we do? He’s a 20 year old young adult.

Right now just trying to make him feel more comfortable about this weekend.

Next doc visit he has scheduled call ahead and ask to put a note in your son’s file to the doc to ask him if he’s interested in hearing about hair loss treatments. A good doc will handle this well.

This is an adult patient, yes a young adult. Their mom shouldn’t be calling ahead for notes to be put in their file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Inappropriate.

+1 he can manage a hour or two without a beanie on OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the Catholic tradition men don't wear hats to mass. But I think even the Pope would rather have someone attend with a baseball hat than not go to mass.

The pope wears a beanie at mass. So, yes.

There is a difference between ordinary headgear and liturgical headgear. Traditionally, priests wore a hat called a “biretta” during the procession into or out of the Mass and from time to time when seated during Mass, all according to very specific rubrics.

What you refer to as a “beanie” is properly termed a “zuchetto,” and is a part of the pontifical vestments. Even the Pope removes his at the beginning of the offertory.

It is not appropriate for a male congregant to wear a head covering at any time during Mass, possibly aside from one that is worn as part of an official uniform.

A man indulging his vanity and insecurity by wearing head covering at Mass to cover up his balding pate will be calling attention to the problem, not concealing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly if you're religious at all you know that God would not judge

This is the right answer

Run from any church that answers differently

Also college is pretty young for this. There might be medical treatments which will help his self-esteem

Yes, we have urged him to discuss options with our family doctor, who is a charismatic middle aged man. But he chickens out at office visits and makes up an excuse why he didn’t ask. What more can we do? He’s a 20 year old young adult.

Right now just trying to make him feel more comfortable about this weekend.

Next doc visit he has scheduled call ahead and ask to put a note in your son’s file to the doc to ask him if he’s interested in hearing about hair loss treatments. A good doc will handle this well.

This is an adult patient, yes a young adult. Their mom shouldn’t be calling ahead for notes to be put in their file.

Then don't do it for your own kids. But "Happens all the time" says doc office telephone answerer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the Catholic tradition men don't wear hats to mass. But I think even the Pope would rather have someone attend with a baseball hat than not go to mass.

The pope wears a beanie at mass. So, yes.

There is a difference between ordinary headgear and liturgical headgear. Traditionally, priests wore a hat called a “biretta” during the procession into or out of the Mass and from time to time when seated during Mass, all according to very specific rubrics.

What you refer to as a “beanie” is properly termed a “zuchetto,” and is a part of the pontifical vestments. Even the Pope removes his at the beginning of the offertory.

It is not appropriate for a male congregant to wear a head covering at any time during Mass, possibly aside from one that is worn as part of an official uniform.

A man indulging his vanity and insecurity by wearing head covering at Mass to cover up his balding pate will be calling attention to the problem, not concealing it.

Up until very recently I was a lifelong Catholic and republican. But the rampant and rank hypocrisy, and a gazillion other reasons, I am no longer either. Here's just one small example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's balding that badly, he needs to buzz it.

People only stare when guys are balding and trying to do terrible combovers or just have whisps everywhere.

No one cares if you're a 20 year old bald guy if you're rocking a buzz cut or shaved head. Trust me.

I was going to say, mom's job should be to make him feel good about who he is--not covering up. He needs to own it and move on with his life. Stop enabling and teach him to be proud of himself, however he looks.

This! The underlying problem is why does he feel ashamed of how he looks?

That judgement isn't coming from God, it's coming from people. One should not be ashamed of what God has created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a balding friend who wore a crocheted kufi hat to dressy occasions and it looked quite elegant and appropriate. But it did stand out from the crowd (much more than a balding head would) and most people assumed he was either ill or of another faith.

I would assume that the son was a cancer patient. Also God is supposed to love you as you are. So I would not be worried about the hat for church. I think it would invite misplaced concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like there are a lot of agnostics or Unitarians answering. Yes, it will looks odd. In Catholic Church men aren’t supposed to wear hats unless they are a bishop. Really no one cares if he is balding but at least some people will care if he’s wearing a hat. Would he also stay home if he had a bad rash on his face or a scar or felt fat? Most of us are unhappy with how we look most of the time but we still go out in public. I’m not sure what the solution is for tomorrow but the longer term solution is definitely not to decide to stay inside if he can’t cover up the thing that he thinks is unattractive.

ahh, the good ole catholic way: guilt and shame -- it's good for you!
I'd let him stay home before I forced him to feel terribly self conscious.

Look I’m as liberal as they come and I barely even go to mass anymore. But if the question is about the rules at Catholic mass — the answer is that men don’t wear head coverings and many people there will consider it a sign of disrespect. The fact that he’s doing it because he’s balding (rather than just ignorant) kind of makes it worse. I am really sorry OP’s kid feels that crappy about himself. Church is one place he should definitely not feel like he needs to look good/sexy/virile though. Literally no one cares if you are ugly as sin. It’s mass, not a frat party. It’s not like you’re gonna pick up a girl (or guy, if that’s what he’s into) there.