If you were an affluent, unmotivated kid - what turned you light bulb on

[Anonymous]

Ego.

At a certain point in my late 20s I had failed at college and was going from odd job to odd job and I started comparing myself to others and felt shame.

I got it together and a few years later was working my ass off at a top law school.

[Anonymous]

Outward Bound or Nols for as many months as you can swing. Don't make it optional.

When we lived in Australia, my son attended a school that had a 6 month requirement at their bush campus in year 9, age 14-15. It wasn't summer camp. The discomfort, danger, hard work, teamwork, lack of electronics, self reflection and realization that he can do very difficult things kicked in. The program was not optional. I sent them a boy, a young man came back. I seriously wish I could gift this experience to every young person.

[Anonymous]

Make that lazy spoiled runt get a job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College degree or no college degree? Either way, U.S. military. Just the perks are better if you enlist with a BA and apply for officer school.

4 years in the Marines. Worked for JD Vance.

Is that why he’s a fat ass

[Anonymous]

He’s a spoiled rich kid. Just let him work for your husband and live off the land the bum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents backed off. Let me know they weren't going to always be there for me. Forced me to go outside. Let me know that after 18, I was on my own if I wasn't in college. Made me get an afterschool job. Stopped coddling me.

Glad this worked. My kids know they are out at 18 as I'm moving abroad.
I moved to US at 18.5 with $100 and no work permit. I did well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

+1

These responses are wild.

[Anonymous]

I was a lump pretty much until my third year of college. I was unsure what I wanted to do, feeling burnt out (probably ADHD), and super unmotivated. I had always worked outside of school and definitely understood real work, but just really couldn’t pick a lane and care about anything enough. At the end of my sophomore year I had a realization that I wanted to prove my intelligence and stop wasting my parents’ money, and I transferred to a better school and focused on my work. Graduated with a 3.6 (which was great for me) and went on to an elite grad school where I excelled, got very big jobs, and it all worked out.

[Anonymous]

Would you consider connecting him with some older role model-type people, maybe college students and older? They might help him see more clearly into what type of life he would like to have in the future, and what kind of actions getting that life would require.

I have one child, and I try to connect her with older role models. She's younger, but she looks up to them and they communicate with her about what she can expect in the coming years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

This is either another childless troll or a parent with a slacker dopey kid trying to rationalize it’s normal. It’s only normal in the sense that it’s an epidemic among American teen boys. That doesn’t mean you just sit back and let it happen.

Boys like this need a short stint in the military. Doesn’t mean they’re cannon fodder, plenty of non combat roles. I’ve seen it work dozens of times — transform lazy smart kids into motivated and aggressive. I’ve also seen UMC parents piss away large sums of money sending boys like this to college and they NEVER grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

+1

These responses are wild.

No, they aren't. A 16 yr old should grasp that it costs money to live, and they need to figure out a game plan when they graduate HS. If they don't, *you've* failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

+1

These responses are wild.

No, they aren't. A 16 yr old should grasp that it costs money to live, and they need to figure out a game plan when they graduate HS. If they don't, *you've* failed as a parent.

Pretty sure he's aware he'll need money to live. He's not a waste of space for not having dreams of being a biglaw automaton at age 16. He needs some direction, but all this doom and gloom is a little ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Went to college and got to pick my classes. The biggest thing, though, was fast food jobs as a teen. I remember distinctly deciding that it was very important that I not work at Taco Bell ever again if I could help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

+1

These responses are wild.

No, they aren't. A 16 yr old should grasp that it costs money to live, and they need to figure out a game plan when they graduate HS. If they don't, *you've* failed as a parent.

Pretty sure he's aware he'll need money to live. He's not a waste of space for not having dreams of being a biglaw automaton at age 16. He needs some direction, but all this doom and gloom is a little ridiculous.

No one said he needs to have huge plans like going into big law (my kids sure don't), but per OP, he's not even thinking about his future. That is "doom and gloom" for a 16 yr old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord, OP. He’s 16. 16 year olds are supposed to be dopey and flaky. Back off and give him a chance to figure himself out. It might take a while! And stop comparing him to other teens in your affluent areas—a lot of them are just marching mindlessly along the path their parents lay for them.

+1

These responses are wild.

No, they aren't. A 16 yr old should grasp that it costs money to live, and they need to figure out a game plan when they graduate HS. If they don't, *you've* failed as a parent.

Pretty sure he's aware he'll need money to live. He's not a waste of space for not having dreams of being a biglaw automaton at age 16. He needs some direction, but all this doom and gloom is a little ridiculous.

No one said he needs to have huge plans like going into big law (my kids sure don't), but per OP, he's not even thinking about his future. That is "doom and gloom" for a 16 yr old.

DP. He may very well be thinking about his future but is afraid what he wants will disappoint his affluent parents. The OP sounds insufferable. She calls her son a flake, a lump on a log, slug-like. Rushes him off to therapy the minute things get stressful. Peppers him with constant questions. I’m rooting for the kid to get out of that house and soar!