If you were an affluent, unmotivated kid - what turned you light bulb on
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Who did she end u marrying? |
Anonymous
|
Read "The Self-Driven Child." Like, this week.
The short answer is you need to back off and let him completely own and make his own choices. I agree with others that he needs to know that his safety net is going away in a few years. |
Anonymous
She's married to a boy she met at that out of state college. Thank God! |
Anonymous
| Sports and excellent summer camps. Keep them busy without screens and doing things that encourage perseverance, hard work, goal setting, and community. |
Anonymous
4 years in the Marines. Worked for JD Vance. |
Anonymous
| Geez. This used to be called a type B personality. He's totally normal. |
Anonymous
He’s a lying, self-serving, spineless, self-serving grifter. I don’t think those are parental dreams come true. |
Anonymous
"The Clapper".... I kid, I kid. 
|
Anonymous
|
Getting a job in high school and meeting other people. I realized there was a bigger world. I also liked that no one there was trying to fix me. I discovered that I liked working and it was a good thing for my entire life (now retired and volunteering). I took on extra jobs when I was lonely or bored when I was in grad school or moved to a new place and it helped me through good and bad times. I discovered that I iked to stay busy. I think sometimes analysis is paralysis, at least for me.
I also had to figure out who I was and what I really wanted to do. All I'd ever heard was what my dad wanted me to do and it was not at all anything I had talent for, so I felt like a failure. Once I learned what I was good at, I got motivated on my own and had a successful education and career. My parents were supportive, like you, but I was just a lot different from them. I have the same experience with my own kids! They have none of my interests or aptitudes, but they do have their own. You will be okay. Give it time. |
Anonymous
| I dunno. I raised 4 kids and some were self starters and 1 was not. I probably bailed him out a couple too many times and then he went into the military and is now 37 with a new wife, great job, and baby on the way. |
Anonymous
| Time for a job. |
Anonymous
|
You can't micromanage your son's motivation level and interests.
So much of what "ignites " people is a matter of chance, chance encounters, and circumstance. Someone you meet at a camp who changes your life. Your first job and the people you bond with. The traumatic thing you go through that gives you a passion for a cause Your first serious relationship and the way they redirect you towards another career. The vacation you have that convinces you to move there. Most kids don't have a passion as teenagers! Let him live his life and be who he is. |
Anonymous
|
We were sitting in this boat last year. Wasn't driving and had zero motivation to even practice and get his license until the month before it was time. We felt like we were banging our heads against the wall trying to get through to him. Friends were bumps on logs and while no drugs, there was no motivation to do anything aside from sit in front of a screen. We tried everything you mentioned in your original post.
I can only offer you my sympathy as 1 year later, after trying it all, we've made an inch of progress. Depending on college admissions, we're capping our financial assistance at paying for 1 year. If he screws up, he can pay for CC himself and feel the burn. |
Anonymous
Must not be around MoCo cause my kid's scout troop had black, Jewish, Hispanic, Asian kids, including my own. |
Anonymous
I kinda feel this way. Too much naval gazing makes one crazier and more depressed. Get out, serve others, work with your hands. |