Librarian with provocative t-shirt

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty much as progressive as they come and I'm shocked anyone thinks this would be appropriate to wear in any workplace, especially a public/customer facing job.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My son in 4th grade told me that the librarian was wearing the t-shirt with the message “Everybody knows I love lesbians”. What do you think about the dress code in elementary schools? Is that ok ?

I am a religious conservative. I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that homosexuality in a sin. But I also believe in freedom of assembly and we are not the taliban beating people into submission on the streets. My coworkers, customers (if I had a business), employees of places I do business with, teachers, students, etc, their sexuality is not my business day to day. One, people who call themselves "lesbians" exist. That librarian "loves" them. I guess that is a fact in his or her life, that us between him or her and God. Two, the "word" lesbian isn't a vulgarity in the English language so kids seeing it is not a problem. If they have a question about a word they can ask someone about it. Their parents can tell their kids to run unfamiliar words by them only, but that is up to them.

I commend you for your open mind, but I still don't think sexual-adjacent terms should be bandied about in primary school. And lesbian is such a term. I'd feel differently if this was secondary school.

Do any of the students there have lesbian mothers? The term is not offensive in itself.

Not in that year. I am fine with that type of t-shirts outside school setting. I was wondering if people thought it was appropriate in a school setting. If someone else bring a t-shirts saying “marriage is between a man a woman”, would that be ok as well or not ?

So presumably your child's class is not the only one that interacted with her that day. Some students who have lesbian mothers do go to the school but you think naming their mothers lesbian is offensive? To answer your second question, I couldn't care less if anyone wore a t-shit saying "marriage is between a man and a woman." Many do and I'm thankful to know where they stand. It's free speech.

I was curious why it is important for the teacher to let the students know their sexual preferences in the classroom. When I was a kid my teachers never discussed their sexual preferences or sexual life with the students.

Really, they never talked about their husband or wife? That's very hard to believe. Why are you so bothered by something that has a positive message? Perhaps you don't want to be reminded that lesbians exist? Would you be ok with the teacher referencing her wife in class?

Would you be ok if a teacher had a t-shirt that says “everybody knows that I love blonds” maybe it’s ok or maybe not ? Is it appropriate for school ?

But she is not wearing a shit saying "everyone knows I love blonds." We are discussing the one she is wearing. I would be uncomfortable with a whole lot of other shirts and wouldn't find them appropriate for school. This one is. Why do you not think so?

I see. “Everybody knows I love blonds” not ok. “Everybody knows I love lesbians” ok. Very balanced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son in 4th grade told me that the librarian was wearing the t-shirt with the message “Everybody knows I love lesbians”. What do you think about the dress code in elementary schools? Is that ok ?

I am a religious conservative. I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that homosexuality in a sin. But I also believe in freedom of assembly and we are not the taliban beating people into submission on the streets. My coworkers, customers (if I had a business), employees of places I do business with, teachers, students, etc, their sexuality is not my business day to day. One, people who call themselves "lesbians" exist. That librarian "loves" them. I guess that is a fact in his or her life, that us between him or her and God. Two, the "word" lesbian isn't a vulgarity in the English language so kids seeing it is not a problem. If they have a question about a word they can ask someone about it. Their parents can tell their kids to run unfamiliar words by them only, but that is up to them.

I commend you for your open mind, but I still don't think sexual-adjacent terms should be bandied about in primary school. And lesbian is such a term. I'd feel differently if this was secondary school.

Do any of the students there have lesbian mothers? The term is not offensive in itself.

Not in that year. I am fine with that type of t-shirts outside school setting. I was wondering if people thought it was appropriate in a school setting. If someone else bring a t-shirts saying “marriage is between a man a woman”, would that be ok as well or not ?

So presumably your child's class is not the only one that interacted with her that day. Some students who have lesbian mothers do go to the school but you think naming their mothers lesbian is offensive? To answer your second question, I couldn't care less if anyone wore a t-shit saying "marriage is between a man and a woman." Many do and I'm thankful to know where they stand. It's free speech.

I was curious why it is important for the teacher to let the students know their sexual preferences in the classroom. When I was a kid my teachers never discussed their sexual preferences or sexual life with the students.

Really, they never talked about their husband or wife? That's very hard to believe. Why are you so bothered by something that has a positive message? Perhaps you don't want to be reminded that lesbians exist? Would you be ok with the teacher referencing her wife in class?

Would you be ok if a teacher had a t-shirt that says “everybody knows that I love blonds” maybe it’s ok or maybe not ? Is it appropriate for school ?

But she is not wearing a shit saying "everyone knows I love blonds." We are discussing the one she is wearing. I would be uncomfortable with a whole lot of other shirts and wouldn't find them appropriate for school. This one is. Why do you not think so?

I see. “Everybody knows I love blonds” not ok. “Everybody knows I love lesbians” ok. Very balanced.

I can’t tell if you’re actually dumb or just playing. That’s not what I said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty much as progressive as they come and I'm shocked anyone thinks this would be appropriate to wear in any workplace, especially a public/customer facing job.

Agree. I am fine outside work you can use anything you want, but most jobs do have a dress code. Why school should be different ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty much as progressive as they come and I'm shocked anyone thinks this would be appropriate to wear in any workplace, especially a public/customer facing job.

You’re not as progressive as you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty much as progressive as they come and I'm shocked anyone thinks this would be appropriate to wear in any workplace, especially a public/customer facing job.

Agree. I am fine outside work you can use anything you want, but most jobs do have a dress code. Why school should be different ?

Why are you asking us? You think what you want. We will do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son in 4th grade told me that the librarian was wearing the t-shirt with the message “Everybody knows I love lesbians”. What do you think about the dress code in elementary schools? Is that ok ?

I am a religious conservative. I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that homosexuality in a sin. But I also believe in freedom of assembly and we are not the taliban beating people into submission on the streets. My coworkers, customers (if I had a business), employees of places I do business with, teachers, students, etc, their sexuality is not my business day to day. One, people who call themselves "lesbians" exist. That librarian "loves" them. I guess that is a fact in his or her life, that us between him or her and God. Two, the "word" lesbian isn't a vulgarity in the English language so kids seeing it is not a problem. If they have a question about a word they can ask someone about it. Their parents can tell their kids to run unfamiliar words by them only, but that is up to them.

I commend you for your open mind, but I still don't think sexual-adjacent terms should be bandied about in primary school. And lesbian is such a term. I'd feel differently if this was secondary school.

Do any of the students there have lesbian mothers? The term is not offensive in itself.

Not in that year. I am fine with that type of t-shirts outside school setting. I was wondering if people thought it was appropriate in a school setting. If someone else bring a t-shirts saying “marriage is between a man a woman”, would that be ok as well or not ?

So presumably your child's class is not the only one that interacted with her that day. Some students who have lesbian mothers do go to the school but you think naming their mothers lesbian is offensive? To answer your second question, I couldn't care less if anyone wore a t-shit saying "marriage is between a man and a woman." Many do and I'm thankful to know where they stand. It's free speech.

I was curious why it is important for the teacher to let the students know their sexual preferences in the classroom. When I was a kid my teachers never discussed their sexual preferences or sexual life with the students.

Really, they never talked about their husband or wife? That's very hard to believe. Why are you so bothered by something that has a positive message? Perhaps you don't want to be reminded that lesbians exist? Would you be ok with the teacher referencing her wife in class?

Would you be ok if a teacher had a t-shirt that says “everybody knows that I love blonds” maybe it’s ok or maybe not ? Is it appropriate for school ?

But she is not wearing a shit saying "everyone knows I love blonds." We are discussing the one she is wearing. I would be uncomfortable with a whole lot of other shirts and wouldn't find them appropriate for school. This one is. Why do you not think so?

I see. “Everybody knows I love blonds” not ok. “Everybody knows I love lesbians” ok. Very balanced.

I can’t tell if you’re actually dumb or just playing. That’s not what I said!

Now it’s super clear….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It''s wild that you think loving a certain person is bad.

Is it okay to love men, women, football players, dogs, pirates, dancers, softball players?

What specifically bothers you?

Never said that. My main question is about the dress code. I can imagine several t-shirts used by conservative Christians that would be offensive to the LGBTQ community. My point is whether it’s ok to bring the culture wars to school.

You mean, would it be OK to wear a Nazi shirt? And you’re comparing that too I love lesbians?

Very balanced comment: conservative Christians = Nazis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty much as progressive as they come and I'm shocked anyone thinks this would be appropriate to wear in any workplace, especially a public/customer facing job.

Agree. I am fine outside work you can use anything you want, but most jobs do have a dress code. Why school should be different ?

Why are you asking us? You think what you want. We will do the same.

Sharp comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son in 4th grade told me that the librarian was wearing the t-shirt with the message “Everybody knows I love lesbians”. What do you think about the dress code in elementary schools? Is that ok ?

I am a religious conservative. I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and that homosexuality in a sin. But I also believe in freedom of assembly and we are not the taliban beating people into submission on the streets. My coworkers, customers (if I had a business), employees of places I do business with, teachers, students, etc, their sexuality is not my business day to day. One, people who call themselves "lesbians" exist. That librarian "loves" them. I guess that is a fact in his or her life, that us between him or her and God. Two, the "word" lesbian isn't a vulgarity in the English language so kids seeing it is not a problem. If they have a question about a word they can ask someone about it. Their parents can tell their kids to run unfamiliar words by them only, but that is up to them.

I commend you for your open mind, but I still don't think sexual-adjacent terms should be bandied about in primary school. And lesbian is such a term. I'd feel differently if this was secondary school.

The word "lesbian" isn't sex adjacent! Honestly, how regressive can you be? I feel like I am reading a message board from the 1950s. Reducing the identity of "lesbian" to a sexual attraction or sexual behavior is ignorant and offensive. If you are a straight women, does that mean that your defining quality is that you like to sleep with men? Is that what makes you who you are? A lesbian is a woman who loves (*LOVES* not f---s) women. It's not a bad word or a dirty word. It is an identity and as PP said: lesbians exist. If you are hoping to keep your elementary aged kid from finding out that lesbians exists, I feel so sorry for your kid. Don't let your own obsessions, anxieties, and hang ups burden your kid. Let them try to grow into a normal, well-adjusted adult person who doesn't over-sexualize elementary school librarians and isn't weirded out by the fact that people different them exist in the world.

Holy sh!t what did I just read??


The term lesbian is 100% a sexual orientation.

Honey, seriously? I feel sad for you. The word lesbian can be used as a noun or an adjective, and it refers to women who have physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to other women. A lesbians is a person who falls in love and wants to build a meaningful life with another adult woman. I am sorry that your education has failed you so badly, but please, read a book about the oversexualization of gay and lesbian people but folks like yourself. If a book feels like too much, start with this:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-problem-with-the-sexualization-of-lesbians_b_3368769

[Anonymous]

OP, we know it's just you responding every time to everyone on this thread trying to explain to you that the problem is you, not the librarian. Maybe take a beat to sit with that possibility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, we know it's just you responding every time to everyone on this thread trying to explain to you that the problem is you, not the librarian. Maybe take a beat to sit with that possibility?

The librarian is talking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we know it's just you responding every time to everyone on this thread trying to explain to you that the problem is you, not the librarian. Maybe take a beat to sit with that possibility?

The librarian is talking

Do you really think an elementary school librarian spends her free time on the DCUM forum reading about your petty biases?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we know it's just you responding every time to everyone on this thread trying to explain to you that the problem is you, not the librarian. Maybe take a beat to sit with that possibility?

The librarian is talking

Do you really think an elementary school librarian spends her free time on the DCUM forum reading about your petty biases?

Now her girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but I’d be uncomfortable with that shirt, because of the “sex-adjacency” of the word, as pointed out by a PP.
I would be totally okay with a shirt that says “Everybody knows I love women.” I would not be okay with shirts that say “Everybody knows I love heterosexuals” or “Everybody knows I love blonds” (objectifying). But then again as a kid I didn’t hit puberty until I was in seventh grade, and my school didn’t do sex ed until eighth. These days puberty is starting so early (9!?) for so many kids, and at least in FCPS some early form of sex-ed starts in elementary school…

How is it objectifying to say you love someone? Heterosexual and lesbian are not sex-adacent words. The fact that you sexualize those identities (instead of seeing them as human people who form lasting pair bonds) says much more about you than it does about the librarian, and she shouldn't have to accommodate your unhealthy oversexualization of others. Have you thought about talking to someone about your own repression/obsession with thinking about strangers' sexuality?

You’re very much in the minority with your opinion that “lesbian,” a word about sexual orientation, is not sex-adjacent, but can you see how a word that is not strictly about sex (like “men,” ie if she was wearing a shirt that said “Everybody knows I love men”), could still be off-putting, and how disingenuous it would be to claim blindness to the potential connotations of that?

Anyhow, just because a word describing a facet of someone’s identity is sex-adjacent, and therefore not something that I find appropriate in an elementary school setting, does not therefore somehow extrapolate into my not seeing any person for whom that identity applies as a human person who forms a lasting pair bond (or validate any of your angry nonsense personal attacks on me).

And you really don’t understand how “Everybody knows I love blonds” is objectifying? How about “Everybody knows I love Asians”? Do you get it now?