Husband dumping my milk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would very much like for you to hop online to get some help with your anxiety. This is classic first time mom anxiety over breastfeeding. It really isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. You'll look back at this in five years and kick yourself for focusing on breast milk instead of your baby and your family.

What makes you think she isn’t focusing on here baby? That’s saying all parents posting or replying on here aren’t focusing on their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would very much like for you to hop online to get some help with your anxiety. This is classic first time mom anxiety over breastfeeding. It really isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. You'll look back at this in five years and kick yourself for focusing on breast milk instead of your baby and your family.

What makes you think she isn’t focusing on here baby? That’s saying all parents posting or replying on here aren’t focusing on their kids.

Been there, done that, PP. You spend so much time stressing over feeding the child and pumping that you miss out on a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also I call troll.

I think this is the "Breastfeeding Troll" who Jeff has written about multiple times. It's a weird fetish/mission but the writing style and level of detail is identical.

FWIW for those responding, it's probably a guy who gets off reading about all your booby details so respond with that in mind.

[Anonymous]

I think you need quite a complex system to keep track of all these sources of exra milk that will be in your friedge. You want him to save whatever is left in every bottle, regardless of amount, then also save whatever is left in every thawed bag that baby doesn't drink and you are nursing so there isn't a consistent schedule. There are going to be collections of a half ounce here, a quarter ounce here, an ounce here...all that were thawed or warmed at different times and that have been out of the freezer / fridge for different aount of times.

The only legit complaint I think you have is hat he keep the pumped milk even if a bag is only half full and freeze the half full bags.

[Anonymous]

Throw him out too omg

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also I call troll.

I think this is the "Breastfeeding Troll" who Jeff has written about multiple times. It's a weird fetish/mission but the writing style and level of detail is identical.

FWIW for those responding, it's probably a guy who gets off reading about all your booby details so respond with that in mind.

Look at all the threads started around 8pm in Recent topics - they keep getting bumped up because the troll is sockpuppeting and bumping them - in one its about a kid and bullying, in another about a class party and now this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

Original Poster here.

I now need to add this back to my responsibilities because I can’t trust that he won’t toss my milk again. I’ve probably lost 100 ounces or something already.

Yesterday is when I noticed what was happening because I happened to be in the room when he was storing the milk. Yesterday he dumped 5oz from the thawed milk and milk I pumped. This has been going on since the first week home.

None of this sounds as bad as what you said in the OP. You should probably take a step back and reevaluate. It doesn’t sound like he was just purposefully dumping good milk.

Just explain to him how you would like it done going forward and move on.

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of thing that makes your crazy when you have a newborn, or in the first year, but you laugh about years later and can’t remember why you were so upset.

Obviously explain to him and ask him to care about your feelings but try to calm down too. Parenting a long journey.

[Anonymous]

Question - have you ever run short on milk yet? If the answer is no and you have excess in the freezer do not make this an issue. As other posters have pointed out, this is something that later you will wonder why you ever worried about.

However, you may want to have the pediatrician explain to him how long milk is good for at room temperature/in the fridge so he stops thinking the baby will get sick if the milk stays out for 61 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Don’t cry over spilled milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your feelings are understandable. You made it. You want your baby to benefit from it. But as long as you are making enough to keep up, it seems like worrying about “leftovers” is more emotion-based than substantive. That said, you should let your husband know that you’d like to build a larger reserve. Toward that end, freezing smaller portions that will not yield excess seems a good idea. And once you’ve thawed the milk and fed part of it, it probably is better not to re-serve the rest.

I’m the original poster. It’s not just emotions. I put a lot of hard work into pumping. It’s a FT job. It’s hard work and I want to save as much as I can before while I have the supply.

The thawed milk is annoying but the excess milk at night really is what irks me. Throwing away 3oz of milk because it’s not 4oz for freezing is not okay with me. That’s a whole feeding right there.

Perhaps you are over pumping and over saving? If you have a good supply, making a giant freezer stash is really unnecessary. Even if you go back to work, you’ll be pumping what baby needs while you are at work for the next day. You may never need to use any of this stash.

[Anonymous]

I'm sending one off to college next year and I feel for you, but this is a blip in the next 18 years. Your DC is well nourished and your husband is helping. Babies grow so fast and in the blink of an eye they will be eating solids and all of this milk drama will be a thing of the past.

I really had to learn early on not to have my anxiety and sleep deprived self let "perfect get in the way of good enough".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You ungrateful brat. Your husband is helping feed the baby and you’re mad because he tossed some extra milk he likely didn’t know would keep? Good grief no wonder there is so much divorce on this site.

I’m the original poster.

I’m not an ungrateful brat. I care for our child majority of the time. He has stepped in other ways, like washing pump parts/bottles and storing milk. We are both parents and it’s both our responsibilities.

If you complain about how what he thn you get to do all the milk duty. You are a major PITA.

[Anonymous]

This whole thing is bizarre to me, for OP calling herself Original Poster over and over and over again, to the fact that she just keeps responding with the same thing as if this is going to change her critics' minds, to bathing in her milk.

She is either a troll or recently I've wondered if there are some posters who have a competition going to see who can get the most responses, and to do that endlessly reply with no new info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this brings back angry memories from my last child - my nanny was throwing away the milk i pumped because it was more convenient for her to use formula she could mix at the park and hang with her friends and not come back to the house to use the milk. My husband worked from home and didn't tell her not to do it. still makes me so mad 15 years later

Sounds like your taste in husbands and nannies was both terrible! Hopefully you have made better choices since then