Husband dumping my milk

[Anonymous]

I’m a FTM to an adorable baby boy and have been blessed with a great supply. I’ve been storing the excess milk I make and we use a couple bags a week to keep the supply fresh. I found out today that my husband just dumps whatever he thinks we don’t need, what he doesn’t finish, and if he thinks he saved too much milk. He has been dumping a lot of milk down the drain and I’m furious with him. Is it reasonable to be this upset with him over milk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a FTM to an adorable baby boy and have been blessed with a great supply. I’ve been storing the excess milk I make and we use a couple bags a week to keep the supply fresh. I found out today that my husband just dumps whatever he thinks we don’t need, what he doesn’t finish, and if he thinks he saved too much milk. He has been dumping a lot of milk down the drain and I’m furious with him. Is it reasonable to be this upset with him over milk?

Yes, that’s upsetting. What’s important is that he changes his behavior going forward. I can’t imagine what got into his head to do that, but yea, it needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

Yea, it would be hard for me not to lose my shit. Agree that it matters most whether he changes going forward though. You could possibly chalk this up to clueless first time dad behavior right now, but not if he keeps doing it.

[Anonymous]

Tell him never do do that again. You are in charge of the milk not him.

[Anonymous]

Long time ago but I thought if the baby drank a bottle, the left over needed to be thrown out. I would lose my mind if DH randomly started throwing out the milk I had saved if that milk had not been defrosted and used in a bottle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Long time ago but I thought if the baby drank a bottle, the left over needed to be thrown out. I would lose my mind if DH randomly started throwing out the milk I had saved if that milk had not been defrosted and used in a bottle.

+1
If the milk has already been thawed and partially consumed by the baby, I don't think there's any good way to save the rest. Once it has been exposed to the baby's saliva, it probably only has about an hour of life before it needs to be tossed.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would lose my shit utterly.

[Anonymous]

I would truly have lost it

[Anonymous]

Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

Original Poster here.

I now need to add this back to my responsibilities because I can’t trust that he won’t toss my milk again. I’ve probably lost 100 ounces or something already.

Yesterday is when I noticed what was happening because I happened to be in the room when he was storing the milk. Yesterday he dumped 5oz from the thawed milk and milk I pumped. This has been going on since the first week home.

[Anonymous]

Dumping leftover milk from a used bottle - yes.

The rest, though? That's really wasteful and he needs to stop.

[Anonymous]

4 oz is a typical amount for babies. It’s better to have more than you need than not enough. And since you’re so blessed you should not worry about him using a 4 oz bottle.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a root cause is the freezer bag conservation bang for buck practice. Take a freezer bag. Put 3 oz water in it. See what that looks like.
Then start putting only what the kid will eat in a bag. No leftovers.

[Anonymous]

He's horrendous - does he not value your time and effort and discomfort in pumping and making milk?!

It would be one thing to ask (do we need to save all this?) To do it silently is very disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

Original Poster here.

I now need to add this back to my responsibilities because I can’t trust that he won’t toss my milk again. I’ve probably lost 100 ounces or something already.

Yesterday is when I noticed what was happening because I happened to be in the room when he was storing the milk. Yesterday he dumped 5oz from the thawed milk and milk I pumped. This has been going on since the first week home.

I’m glad to hear he is helping even if he screwed up. Explain how u comfortable it is to pump and how much work it is. it so time consuming. It will save a year frozen and your kid can drink it till it runs out long after he stops nursing. I would have lost my shit too. I’m sorry.