Husband dumping my milk

[Anonymous]

I bought a bunch of the bottles and kept it in the fridge for a few days. I didn’t freeze it until maybe day 3 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

My take away from all this is that you are pouring milk into the bathwater. Am I reading that right? I don't see how that is any better than pouring it down the drain.

[Anonymous]

You ungrateful brat. Your husband is helping feed the baby and you’re mad because he tossed some extra milk he likely didn’t know would keep? Good grief no wonder there is so much divorce on this site.

[Anonymous]

Also I call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a FTM to an adorable baby boy and have been blessed with a great supply. I’ve been storing the excess milk I make and we use a couple bags a week to keep the supply fresh. I found out today that my husband just dumps whatever he thinks we don’t need, what he doesn’t finish, and if he thinks he saved too much milk. He has been dumping a lot of milk down the drain and I’m furious with him. Is it reasonable to be this upset with him over milk?

Yes, that’s upsetting. What’s important is that he changes his behavior going forward. I can’t imagine what got into his head to do that, but yea, it needs to stop.

. why didn't OP explain to him what she was doing? Why isn't she freezing the milk? Maybe the refrigerator is so full of breast milk that there is no room for actual food!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

Well, aren't you generous to a fault letting him handle storing and washing! If you don't like his way then handle it yourself.

[Anonymous]

He's probably drinking it the kinky bastard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

My take away from all this is that you are pouring milk into the bathwater. Am I reading that right? I don't see how that is any better than pouring it down the drain.

I’m the original poster.

I’ve put it in the bath once. What I’m saying is that the leftover milk the doesn’t drink can be used for the bath but my husband says that’s nasty and dumps the milk.

He just fully dumps any milk that doesn’t fit into 4oz at the end of the day. I tallied for the past week after seeing what I pumped and he threw away 22oz just from that.

He will dump out any milk that I leave at room temp. It’s good for 4 hours but he doesn’t believe that so he dumps it. Nothing left in fridge for 24 hours is frozen or dumped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You ungrateful brat. Your husband is helping feed the baby and you’re mad because he tossed some extra milk he likely didn’t know would keep? Good grief no wonder there is so much divorce on this site.

I’m the original poster.

I’m not an ungrateful brat. I care for our child majority of the time. He has stepped in other ways, like washing pump parts/bottles and storing milk. We are both parents and it’s both our responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

He's friggin rigid and I'm seeing red through my computer screen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a FTM to an adorable baby boy and have been blessed with a great supply. I’ve been storing the excess milk I make and we use a couple bags a week to keep the supply fresh. I found out today that my husband just dumps whatever he thinks we don’t need, what he doesn’t finish, and if he thinks he saved too much milk. He has been dumping a lot of milk down the drain and I’m furious with him. Is it reasonable to be this upset with him over milk?

Yes, that’s upsetting. What’s important is that he changes his behavior going forward. I can’t imagine what got into his head to do that, but yea, it needs to stop.

. why didn't OP explain to him what she was doing? Why isn't she freezing the milk? Maybe the refrigerator is so full of breast milk that there is no room for actual food!

I’m the original poster.

I’m not an ungrateful brat. He parents and that includes feedings during his parenting time. He chose to do the washing and storing to help me out.

We have plenty of space in our freezers.

To be more clear because I think any are confused, I’m mad about more than just leftover milk from that hasn’t been eaten.

I nurse and pump. I store all the excess pumped milk in bottles in the fridge during the day. It’s safe to keep for 4 days but my husband said 24 hours is the max for safety.

Let’s say at the end of the day I have 14 ounces extra. He will make 3 4oz bags and toss the 2oz because it wasn’t enough to make a 4oz bag. I would have frozen it but it’s a waste to him to use a bag to freeze so little. This apparently is a common occurrence and that milk adds up. I’ve totaled he has thrown away at least 100 ounces from this.

The leftover milk from the bottle I would like to use in the bath but he thinks that’s gross.

Thawed milk is different. I know it has to be consumed fairly quickly but he could only heat up what he will eat and save the other 1-2oz for the next feeding but he warms it all and dumps 1-2oz that he doesn’t eat.

I feel like I’m working my butt off to feed our child and he is throwing half of it down the drain like it’s no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go on Amazon and buy 100s of 4 oz bags. No need to use as few as possible. 2 oz in some, 3 in some, whatever floats your boats. Thaw 3 ox, 2 2 oz, whatever. You are making crazy land for each other.

I was going to say save everything in 2 oz. Save everything. Be done. Listen, I get it, I was there. It’s an emotional time but really it’s just a logistical/communications issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here.

- He’s been throwing out thawed milk. Our baby drinks 2-3oz per feeding and I save milk in 4oz portions to get as much use out of freezer bags. He will thaw the 4oz and feed the entire amount and dump the rest he doesn’t eat. I would prefer that he fill the bottle to 2-3oz and save the rest for another feed.

- I let him handle storing milk and washing. He will freeze at night what wasn’t consumed in the last 24 hours. He fills as many 4oz bags as possible but tosses the rest of the milk if it’s not enough to fill a 4oz bag. I’ve calculated all this and he’s been dumping 20+ ounces a week down the drain.

After reading this description, I think you are overreacting. I thought he was throwing out bottles of milk, not leftover ounces. Since you are blessed with an oversupply, it really isn't a big deal.

I’m the original poster.

He is throwing out bottles. He bags all the milk after 24 hours to freeze. If he comes shy of 4oz after filling up all other bags, he will toss the milk. That’s 2-3oz a day. That adds up.

Even 2-3oz a day is enraging because it’s perfectly good milk and could just be put back in the fridge or frozen on its own.

He thinks freezing less than 4oz isn’t smart. He also doesn’t keep milk in the fridge for more than 24 hours before he freezes or dumps even though it’s safe for 4 days. Any leftover milk drank from the bottle is tossed in 30 minutes.

One time we fought because I accidentally fell asleep and left my pumped milk out instead of immediately putting it in the fridge. He dumped 12oz of milk because it was left at room temp for a little over 1 hour.

I like to save milk for baths or just to have on hand for anything but he tosses anything he deems “ unsafe”.

My take away from all this is that you are pouring milk into the bathwater. Am I reading that right? I don't see how that is any better than pouring it down the drain.

I’m the original poster.

I’ve put it in the bath once. What I’m saying is that the leftover milk the doesn’t drink can be used for the bath but my husband says that’s nasty and dumps the milk.

He just fully dumps any milk that doesn’t fit into 4oz at the end of the day. I tallied for the past week after seeing what I pumped and he threw away 22oz just from that.

He will dump out any milk that I leave at room temp. It’s good for 4 hours but he doesn’t believe that so he dumps it. Nothing left in fridge for 24 hours is frozen or dumped.

Yeah, I wouldn't call putting milk in the bath nasty, but it's pointless and certainly doesn't do anything for the baby. Honestly, 22 oz. per week is not that big of a deal when you realize it's only 3 oz. per day. I understand how valuable the milk is when every drop counts, but in your case you have an oversupply and it sounds like you are storing plenty, so stop obsessing over this little detail and let it go. You have no idea how many of us found old bags of milk in the freezer years later.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would very much like for you to hop online to get some help with your anxiety. This is classic first time mom anxiety over breastfeeding. It really isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. You'll look back at this in five years and kick yourself for focusing on breast milk instead of your baby and your family.

[Anonymous]

It's DCUM. Your husband is not perfect. Solution: Divorce.