When Coaches Lie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

This is hilarious. It is NEVER about who worked hardest in practice. It is annoying that coaches say this. They give false hope to parents and kids that if they were amazingly hard at practice they are going to get to start.

It is a catch-22 for bench players. They don't play much so don't get the opportunity to demonstrate if they have progressed. When you only get one shot to bat, players have more stress on them. The kid that knows they are going to bat three times every game doesn't have to worry about striking out one of those plate appearances. They can be more aggressive and take chances. The bench player might not get a good pitch, might have to sacrifice bunt, might be told to take pitches to try and walk.

Let's be honest -unless a bench player has a pretty big growth spurt or their parents starts coaching chances are they are NEVER going to play much.They are there to be filler players and help subsidize the team financially. Most coaches don't care and like this obnoxious coach will cut the player if the parent complaints. It doesn't matter because they can string another bench player on for a year or two.

+1 generally agree with this

At 11U and below (maybe even through 12U) it is developmentally inappropriate to have “bench players” or kids who get only “token playing time” or sit full games. At that age, this is completely absurd, and I have never seen this on even the most elite baseball teams. That doesn’t mean playing time will be equal- not at all- but typically they will bat the roster in all games through at least 11U and every kid will get some defensive innings in all games. If a kid is being benched at 11U, you have a bad coach. Period. Finish the season, thank the coach sincerely for his time, don’t badmouth, and find a new team.

For older kids 12U/13U/14U- yes things get more competitive and rosters expand. Usually lineups will be shortened to 9 or 10 on Sundays/bracket play. But weaker players should be getting quality playing time on Saturdays at minimum- and good coaches usually find a way to work them in situationally on Sundays too. If at these ages, your kid is getting only token playing time- he is on the wrong team. Period. It isn’t going to change based on “who has a good practice” etc. Hilariously unrealistic.. Barring a roster change, injury, or crazy growth spurt- your kid’s role as “token player” is NOT going to change. A kid’s role is his role, and that role is usually pretty obvious after 2-3 tournaments or 10ish games. Heck, it is usually obvious after watching a few practices. Also playing in such a role at this age level is not good for development - for so many reasons. Finish the season, thank the coach sincerely for his time, don’t badmouth, and find a new team.

And make sure to follow the “don’t badmouth” advice. Never speak negatively to anyone about the situation no matter how unfair you feel it may be. Coaches all talk. And with new teams- asking about your player’s expected role is a good idea. Especially at the younger ages. Most coaches will tell you honestly.

The thread topic is "when coaches lie." The situation I described involved no lying and no promises. Expectations were made clear up front and in writing. If you want equal playing time, go play rec ball. It's a better experience for many. But what you DON'T do is accept the terms and conditions and then complain about them later if they negatively affect your child.

No one has lied here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

I think we found the butt hurt parent who thinks their 10U player is Jennie Finch.

My teams had 11 or 12 girls. Some had more talent and ability than others. And some worked harder than others. And sometimes hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard.

My policies were transparent and parents and kids explicitly agreed to them. What I learned through the years is some kids progress more quickly than others and those are the ones who get the opportunities in elimination game situations. And the kids who don’t progress who sit more — their parents tended to be the most aggressive and whiny.

I would cut this pp’s kid so fast their head would spin if they spoke to me IRL. Don’t come at me like that. You literally signed up for this.

You must feel like a big man putting 10 year old girls in their place

The kids aren't the problem. I can talk to a 10 yo girl and explain what she needs to do to earn more playing time on Sunday. It's the parents I have zero tolerance for. The parents I absolutely will put in their place. And share what I know with other coaches when they come calling.

If you have to explain to a 10 year old that they aren't playing, you're a bad coach and a terrible human being

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

This is hilarious. It is NEVER about who worked hardest in practice. It is annoying that coaches say this. They give false hope to parents and kids that if they were amazingly hard at practice they are going to get to start.

It is a catch-22 for bench players. They don't play much so don't get the opportunity to demonstrate if they have progressed. When you only get one shot to bat, players have more stress on them. The kid that knows they are going to bat three times every game doesn't have to worry about striking out one of those plate appearances. They can be more aggressive and take chances. The bench player might not get a good pitch, might have to sacrifice bunt, might be told to take pitches to try and walk.

Let's be honest -unless a bench player has a pretty big growth spurt or their parents starts coaching chances are they are NEVER going to play much.They are there to be filler players and help subsidize the team financially. Most coaches don't care and like this obnoxious coach will cut the player if the parent complaints. It doesn't matter because they can string another bench player on for a year or two.

+1 generally agree with this

At 11U and below (maybe even through 12U) it is developmentally inappropriate to have “bench players” or kids who get only “token playing time” or sit full games. At that age, this is completely absurd, and I have never seen this on even the most elite baseball teams. That doesn’t mean playing time will be equal- not at all- but typically they will bat the roster in all games through at least 11U and every kid will get some defensive innings in all games. If a kid is being benched at 11U, you have a bad coach. Period. Finish the season, thank the coach sincerely for his time, don’t badmouth, and find a new team.

For older kids 12U/13U/14U- yes things get more competitive and rosters expand. Usually lineups will be shortened to 9 or 10 on Sundays/bracket play. But weaker players should be getting quality playing time on Saturdays at minimum- and good coaches usually find a way to work them in situationally on Sundays too. If at these ages, your kid is getting only token playing time- he is on the wrong team. Period. It isn’t going to change based on “who has a good practice” etc. Hilariously unrealistic.. Barring a roster change, injury, or crazy growth spurt- your kid’s role as “token player” is NOT going to change. A kid’s role is his role, and that role is usually pretty obvious after 2-3 tournaments or 10ish games. Heck, it is usually obvious after watching a few practices. Also playing in such a role at this age level is not good for development - for so many reasons. Finish the season, thank the coach sincerely for his time, don’t badmouth, and find a new team.

And make sure to follow the “don’t badmouth” advice. Never speak negatively to anyone about the situation no matter how unfair you feel it may be. Coaches all talk. And with new teams- asking about your player’s expected role is a good idea. Especially at the younger ages. Most coaches will tell you honestly.

The thread topic is "when coaches lie." The situation I described involved no lying and no promises. Expectations were made clear up front and in writing. If you want equal playing time, go play rec ball. It's a better experience for many. But what you DON'T do is accept the terms and conditions and then complain about them later if they negatively affect your child.

No one has lied here.

Buahahaha, coach when have you ever had the type of family you are speaking of NOT think they are way too good for rec ball?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And also, it’s a small community. Coaches talk. I get calls still about players and most of the questions concern how are the parents.

I always answer questions honestly. And I will share stories about parent behavior with explicit examples.

This is literally the only thing coaches talk about. I don't always trust another coaches assessment of a player because players can change with a fresh start, but they've never steered me wrong on a parent. Even if the parent is a nightmare, if the player is good enough I might take them anyway but I know what I'm getting into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

I think we found the butt hurt parent who thinks their 10U player is Jennie Finch.

My teams had 11 or 12 girls. Some had more talent and ability than others. And some worked harder than others. And sometimes hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard.

My policies were transparent and parents and kids explicitly agreed to them. What I learned through the years is some kids progress more quickly than others and those are the ones who get the opportunities in elimination game situations. And the kids who don’t progress who sit more — their parents tended to be the most aggressive and whiny.

I would cut this pp’s kid so fast their head would spin if they spoke to me IRL. Don’t come at me like that. You literally signed up for this.

You must feel like a big man putting 10 year old girls in their place

She is putting the 10 year old girl's PARENTS in their place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

Although...it is exceedingly rare that a professional athlete didn't dominate at every age.

You will hear of them form time-to-time...a player like Jackson Merrill who barely made the JV team as a HS freshmen, but then went on to be a first MLB pick after his senior year in HS.

95% are players like Messi (trained at FC Barcelona starting at 5), or Freddie Freeman or Bryce Harper or again nearly all pro athletes that were dominant players at 5, 10, 15, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

I think we found the butt hurt parent who thinks their 10U player is Jennie Finch.

My teams had 11 or 12 girls. Some had more talent and ability than others. And some worked harder than others. And sometimes hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard.

My policies were transparent and parents and kids explicitly agreed to them. What I learned through the years is some kids progress more quickly than others and those are the ones who get the opportunities in elimination game situations. And the kids who don’t progress who sit more — their parents tended to be the most aggressive and whiny.

I would cut this pp’s kid so fast their head would spin if they spoke to me IRL. Don’t come at me like that. You literally signed up for this.

You must feel like a big man putting 10 year old girls in their place

She is putting the 10 year old girl's PARENTS in their place.

I mean, not really. I'm not excusing the parent's behavior but, if this is the first time, I think some grace/conversation is warranted. Just referencing the "contract" is a dbag flex just b/c you can. Adults don't act that way, either.

There's a lot of focus on ahole parents here -and there are a lot of them- but there are just as many ahole coaches. They rule over their little kingdom with absolutes. THey don't like any questioning, even the respectful ones. And let's not pretend they don't play favorites. And in the situation noted above, "don't come at me like that"? ??? Adults do not react that way when they are in a place of authority over children, and their families who are paying a LOT of money to participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

Although...it is exceedingly rare that a professional athlete didn't dominate at every age.

You will hear of them form time-to-time...a player like Jackson Merrill who barely made the JV team as a HS freshmen, but then went on to be a first MLB pick after his senior year in HS.

95% are players like Messi (trained at FC Barcelona starting at 5), or Freddie Freeman or Bryce Harper or again nearly all pro athletes that were dominant players at 5, 10, 15, etc.

The actual point is the average Little League superstar is not going to grow up to be another Bryce Harper or Freddie Freeman. A lot of these kids won’t even be on their HS teams, meanwhile coaches are ruining the game for all of the other average kids who just want to play.

Harper and Freeman would have been just fine regardless of whether or not their less talented teammates actually got to play regularly when they were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

Although...it is exceedingly rare that a professional athlete didn't dominate at every age.

You will hear of them form time-to-time...a player like Jackson Merrill who barely made the JV team as a HS freshmen, but then went on to be a first MLB pick after his senior year in HS.

95% are players like Messi (trained at FC Barcelona starting at 5), or Freddie Freeman or Bryce Harper or again nearly all pro athletes that were dominant players at 5, 10, 15, etc.

The actual point is the average Little League superstar is not going to grow up to be another Bryce Harper or Freddie Freeman. A lot of these kids won’t even be on their HS teams, meanwhile coaches are ruining the game for all of the other average kids who just want to play.

Harper and Freeman would have been just fine regardless of whether or not their less talented teammates actually got to play regularly when they were kids.

If 9 year old harper lost an at bat in the middle of the 8th in a meaningless tournament to a scrub, he wouldn't be the player he is today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

Although...it is exceedingly rare that a professional athlete didn't dominate at every age.

You will hear of them form time-to-time...a player like Jackson Merrill who barely made the JV team as a HS freshmen, but then went on to be a first MLB pick after his senior year in HS.

95% are players like Messi (trained at FC Barcelona starting at 5), or Freddie Freeman or Bryce Harper or again nearly all pro athletes that were dominant players at 5, 10, 15, etc.

The actual point is the average Little League superstar is not going to grow up to be another Bryce Harper or Freddie Freeman. A lot of these kids won’t even be on their HS teams, meanwhile coaches are ruining the game for all of the other average kids who just want to play.

Harper and Freeman would have been just fine regardless of whether or not their less talented teammates actually got to play regularly when they were kids.

If 9 year old harper lost an at bat in the middle of the 8th in a meaningless tournament to a scrub, he wouldn't be the player he is today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry the coach lied. Many coaches are really terrible at this age - any coach who thinks winning is important at age 11 (select team or not) has a screw loose and is getting some sort of weird validation from being a winning coach instead of developing athletes and setting a good example for kids.

My only advice is to find a more casual, local-only travel team that’s not trying to be “competitive” (I take it that’s what you were trying to do, but don’t give up because of one crappy coach!). We have always sought out teams like this for our son, and I think it has only helped his development as a player, teammate, and quite frankly as a person. He is in high school now and nobody knows or cares who was on the “elite” team three or four years ago.

Very true. Any parent of a high school baseball player could tell some stories and give examples….performance at the younger ages has little correlation to performance later on at the high school level +. Many of the youth “stars” never even make the HS baseball team, and many youth “weak players” do. I’ve seen this over and over again. Lots of surprises.

It's called puberty.

You don't know how a kid will develop until they actually do.

Although...it is exceedingly rare that a professional athlete didn't dominate at every age.

You will hear of them form time-to-time...a player like Jackson Merrill who barely made the JV team as a HS freshmen, but then went on to be a first MLB pick after his senior year in HS.

95% are players like Messi (trained at FC Barcelona starting at 5), or Freddie Freeman or Bryce Harper or again nearly all pro athletes that were dominant players at 5, 10, 15, etc.

That may be true about the top 0.001% of athletes, but that's not true about who makes it to high school sports.
Plenty of little league all stars don't develop physically.
Plenty of awkward kids become well coordinated athletes in high school.
I look at our high school varsity team and half the kids were middle of the draft picks in little league.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

I think we found the butt hurt parent who thinks their 10U player is Jennie Finch.

My teams had 11 or 12 girls. Some had more talent and ability than others. And some worked harder than others. And sometimes hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard.

My policies were transparent and parents and kids explicitly agreed to them. What I learned through the years is some kids progress more quickly than others and those are the ones who get the opportunities in elimination game situations. And the kids who don’t progress who sit more — their parents tended to be the most aggressive and whiny.

I would cut this pp’s kid so fast their head would spin if they spoke to me IRL. Don’t come at me like that. You literally signed up for this.

You must feel like a big man putting 10 year old girls in their place

She is putting the 10 year old girl's PARENTS in their place.

I mean, not really. I'm not excusing the parent's behavior but, if this is the first time, I think some grace/conversation is warranted. Just referencing the "contract" is a dbag flex just b/c you can. Adults don't act that way, either.

There's a lot of focus on ahole parents here -and there are a lot of them- but there are just as many ahole coaches. They rule over their little kingdom with absolutes. THey don't like any questioning, even the respectful ones. And let's not pretend they don't play favorites. And in the situation noted above, "don't come at me like that"? ??? Adults do not react that way when they are in a place of authority over children, and their families who are paying a LOT of money to participate.

If I am reading it correctly the "player contract" is a common device used by coaches so that the players know what they can expect and what is expected of them. The parent contract frequently has a rule that you can't talk to the coach about anything you're mad about until 24 hours have passed. I assume that is what they are talking about when they mention a contract. It's not the registration agreement.

And why are you paying a LOT of money to have your kid coached by an ahole?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

I think we found the butt hurt parent who thinks their 10U player is Jennie Finch.

My teams had 11 or 12 girls. Some had more talent and ability than others. And some worked harder than others. And sometimes hard work beats talent that doesn’t work hard.

My policies were transparent and parents and kids explicitly agreed to them. What I learned through the years is some kids progress more quickly than others and those are the ones who get the opportunities in elimination game situations. And the kids who don’t progress who sit more — their parents tended to be the most aggressive and whiny.

I would cut this pp’s kid so fast their head would spin if they spoke to me IRL. Don’t come at me like that. You literally signed up for this.

You must feel like a big man putting 10 year old girls in their place

She is putting the 10 year old girl's PARENTS in their place.

I mean, not really. I'm not excusing the parent's behavior but, if this is the first time, I think some grace/conversation is warranted. Just referencing the "contract" is a dbag flex just b/c you can. Adults don't act that way, either.

There's a lot of focus on ahole parents here -and there are a lot of them- but there are just as many ahole coaches. They rule over their little kingdom with absolutes. THey don't like any questioning, even the respectful ones. And let's not pretend they don't play favorites. And in the situation noted above, "don't come at me like that"? ??? Adults do not react that way when they are in a place of authority over children, and their families who are paying a LOT of money to participate.

If I am reading it correctly the "player contract" is a common device used by coaches so that the players know what they can expect and what is expected of them. The parent contract frequently has a rule that you can't talk to the coach about anything you're mad about until 24 hours have passed. I assume that is what they are talking about when they mention a contract. It's not the registration agreement.

And why are you paying a LOT of money to have your kid coached by an ahole?

Correct. It's a behavior contract.

It's not the coach who's a glass bowl. It's usually the parents.

At least in our sport, the coaches aren't being paid. The money just pays for things like uniforms, tournaments, field fees, team equipment.

[Anonymous]

I'm really trying to understand the mindset of someone who wants to coach 11 year olds, but then decides that some of them get to have a miserable experience. Did you just have a miserable childhood that you want to take out on kids?

At U15 or 16, some kids won't play on travel teams. Even U13, kids know it and most find teams with roles that they accept. Doing to to U10s just makes you a dick