When Coaches Lie

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

Report it to the commissioner, it needs to be in writing, and then quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

Report it to the commissioner, it needs to be in writing, and then quit.

Yes, definitely report it up the chain.

Yesterday I was checking GameChanger during my kids' double header and realized there was a kid on the other team who - after last season - reported up the chain unfair treatment by a coach in our organization. I'm assuming the kid moved organizations due to the treatment. I'm glad the kid is still playing the sport but I wish it had been reported to leadership before it became that big of an issue. We were able to make sure that coach wasn't going to be allowed to cause any more issues.

So often it seems like people don't report these issues until after a season is over.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a different situation, but sitting the bench isn't necessarily bad for a kid. My DD was on a Daddy Ball basketball team. She had plenty of playing time as she wasn't the same position as the coach's child, but it was still a mediocre experience. You could see that she had figured out she couldn't challenge the coach's kid in practice, that would just be bad mojo.

She was bumped up to an older group in the same club, she sits the bench now, but in practice she is getting more of a challenge which is bringing out some of her aggressiveness, I can tell she is playing more to her potential rather than down to the level.

Practices are important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

Is it a travel team or is this Little League? LL has rules about how many innings a kid can sit out as well as making sure they can also get a chance at infield etc. Definitely take it up with the commissioner. You can do it anonymously.

If it's travel, it sucks, but no offense I'm sure you signed something when registerting acknowleding this and/or you were already aware this was a possilbility but went forward with it anyway. Perhaps look to switch teams next year or just save your money and get out of the travel racket. Any reason why your DS can't do LL and travel at this age in the same season? I'm sure you will in the spring because that's when the travel players double up on both as that last gasp chance to make the LLWS. And that's when your DS can get drafted hopefully onto a different team and have an opportunity to show how good he is.

[Anonymous]

We reported it once when we saw two kids sit way more than the requisite LL innings while the coaches' kids never sat. This wasn't even Majors--it was just AAA. The coach was also of course a board member.

But the league acted immediately. The kids who never sat at all had to sit out several innings the following game, which was a playoff game. They lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach: We are developmental and get everyone involved in games.

Reality: Some kids sit the bench all day.

At 11.

They shouldn't take a kid they don't intend to play.
If they all show up and they all put in the effort then they should all play.

I mean why bother taking them? Just for the fee? I'd rather increase the fee and give more play time to fewer kids.

Every kid should play at least a couple of innings every game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

It honestly sounds like you have a terrible coach. Having a coach like this can really damage the self-esteem. There are so many options for baseball teams at your son’s age.

I have three kids, all of whom play baseball or softball and they have been on and seen many, many other teams over the years. I have never seen kids mostly sit the bench unless they were literally an outlier in terms of skill. Never. Now, if the coach lied, that's an issue. But assess your kid objectively and find a team where his skill level matches that of the team. None of my kids have ever joined a team without DH or me, or later the kids when they were older, asking the coach where he or she saw our kid fitting into the team. One coach told DH my daughter likely would not get a lot of playing time but that was only after we asked--he did not volunteer that up front. So she did not join. If we misread things or the coach lied, I would have no problem leaving mid season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

It honestly sounds like you have a terrible coach. Having a coach like this can really damage the self-esteem. There are so many options for baseball teams at your son’s age.

I have three kids, all of whom play baseball or softball and they have been on and seen many, many other teams over the years. I have never seen kids mostly sit the bench unless they were literally an outlier in terms of skill. Never. Now, if the coach lied, that's an issue. But assess your kid objectively and find a team where his skill level matches that of the team. None of my kids have ever joined a team without DH or me, or later the kids when they were older, asking the coach where he or she saw our kid fitting into the team. One coach told DH my daughter likely would not get a lot of playing time but that was only after we asked--he did not volunteer that up front. So she did not join. If we misread things or the coach lied, I would have no problem leaving mid season.

I disagree. We have two who play baseball and two who play softball. In the younger years of softball, we see lots of girls of similar ability — with some sitting the bench endlessly and others never sitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

You won’t regret it.

My kids are older and I have to say at least 90% of the coaches we’ve had across all sports are tools. And they all, every last one of them, even the good ones bow down to the most obnoxious parents.

[Anonymous]

I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

It honestly sounds like you have a terrible coach. Having a coach like this can really damage the self-esteem. There are so many options for baseball teams at your son’s age.

I have three kids, all of whom play baseball or softball and they have been on and seen many, many other teams over the years. I have never seen kids mostly sit the bench unless they were literally an outlier in terms of skill. Never. Now, if the coach lied, that's an issue. But assess your kid objectively and find a team where his skill level matches that of the team. None of my kids have ever joined a team without DH or me, or later the kids when they were older, asking the coach where he or she saw our kid fitting into the team. One coach told DH my daughter likely would not get a lot of playing time but that was only after we asked--he did not volunteer that up front. So she did not join. If we misread things or the coach lied, I would have no problem leaving mid season.

I disagree. We have two who play baseball and two who play softball. In the younger years of softball, we see lots of girls of similar ability — with some sitting the bench endlessly and others never sitting.

DP. It would have been your choice to play on a team (travel I assume) without fair play rules. My kids have played both rec and on halfway-to-travel type teams and the coaches will bend over backwards to give girls opportunities, even in competitive situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

Not PP and how in the world did you get that the first quoted poster doesn't let kids play? Assuming Coach is coaching a B level team pool play means 3 games, and that doesn't include scrimmages on off weekends (probably 2 games). Being benched for the 1-4 bracket games on Sunday, depending on how good the team is and how big the tournament is, makes some amount of sense.

I mean, I knew a coach who ran a rec all-star team the same way (personally wouldn't do that) and nobody complained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coached softball. Here’s what I found and what I told parents:

This is travel ball. It is a select team. Yes, we are developmental, but playing time is neither even nor guaranteed.

In doubleheaders and pool play on Saturdays I bat the roster and rotate the defense evenly. Everyone gets an opportunity. That doesn’t mean your kid starts at their preferred position if there are other players better in that spot, but I will look for opportunities to put them there to give them a chance to prove themselves.

On elimination Sunday, however, only the best 9 are starting. And that “best 9” is situational — who worked hardest in practice that week, who produced on Saturday, who hits fast pitching better versus slow pitching (and vice versa). A lot of variables. And that “best 9” might change game-to-game if we advance, depending on the opponent. If your kid is on the bench, I will try to get them into the game, either as a courtesy runner or as a pinch hitter, but it’s entirely situational.

One time we lost our first game and were out of the tournament early. One kid didn’t play in that game. Parents start screaming at me. I looked at them evenly, told them they signed up for this and reminded them of the player contract they signed that, among other things, had a 24-hour rule.

I cut the kid the next day.

So you're an a**hole who is incapable of properly assessing kids at tryouts and then gives offers to kids who don't play?

If this was communicated up front, I would have no issue with it for older kids, but I think 11u might be a bit too young for this. Might be different for an "elite" 11u team, but I would not have signed up for that type of team in the first place. DS's 14u team plays to win in tournaments and typically bats the full roster the first game, but then the batting bench shortens. Everyone has an opportunity to contribute, but the best kids in their positions are out there. It's a team sport and boys know they need to earn it. Coaches are not parents so maybe that helps. Regular season games are a little different with everyone batting, but there are definitely kids who play less--specifically kids who can really only play one position well. If you are versatile and can contribute at multiple positions, you will play multiple positions and sit less, but if not, you will get less playing time. Again, I think this is a reasonable strategy for 14u, but I think at 11u kids should still be rotating through positions and no one should be on the bench for more than an inning or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest to god, just quit. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.

OP here. Our kid wants to and we’ve agreed that makes sense at end of fall season. Baseball, btw. Cant compete with coach’s kids and all the other nonsense. Has been rough on everyone and we don’t need it in our lives. It just gets old after awhile.

Why wait until the end of fall season. Your kid isn’t getting playing time and has no hope of getting playing time. When this happened to my son my only regret is that we didn’t bail sooner.

We found an activity during that time he enjoyed instead of going to practices / games. We paid fir a friend and him to take private tumbling classes. They had a great time and learned to do flips. It doesn’t matter what it is the point was he took lessons to get better at something and learned a skill. A teammate who never played also quit and did golf lessons.