I am a great husband and father, AMA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the opposite of everything I read about on here. I have fantastic relationships with my kids and I am a great partner. I am very in touch with my emotions and have very good self control. I manage my emotions very well during times of stress or disagreement with my partner. When we do have conflicts they do not become highly charged and emotional. I assume she is coming from a place of love and good intentions and the disagreement ends up being productive and making us stronger. Ask me anything.

Did you know that you’re really a DCUM troll?

I’m actually a real person, feel free to ignore this thread if you believe I’m trolling.

[Anonymous]

Were you a great husband and father while your first wife was alive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Were you a great husband and father while your first wife was alive?

Yes although her death forced me to take on elements of parenting that weren’t my specialty. For example, she was very warm and loving and physically affectionate. Lots of hugging snuggling kissing etc. That wasn’t naturally the way I was with the kids but after she was gone I noticed how much that was missing and started doing more of that. Also being alone made me realize I can literally do everything by myself, and some things I wish had done more of when she were alive. For example she was more organized when it came to calendars and scheduling so she did more of that, but taking on that role solo I realized I can and should’ve been doing more of that all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

The neighbor kids come to hang out in my garage with me.

This doesn't mean you're a good guy, it could mean you are overly permissive and lacking boundaries.

Np here. I’m a teacher and kids of all ages— preschool to teen have always felt comfortable with me. I assure you that I have boundaries and am not permissive. Just because I can have a friendly connection with a child that is not my own doesn’t mean I’m always trying to be the “cool mom” or have any creepy tendencies. Kids appreciate having an adult who they trust and know cares about them outside their family.

And none of that discredits what I said about the poser OP. Have a seat.

You’re having a weird reaction to the op. He does sound like a good guy. I’m sorry if you’re triggered by that. Are you projecting your insecurities? Or was your father not great?

Sounds like you are being a sockpuppet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you a great husband and father while your first wife was alive?

Yes although her death forced me to take on elements of parenting that weren’t my specialty. For example, she was very warm and loving and physically affectionate. Lots of hugging snuggling kissing etc. That wasn’t naturally the way I was with the kids but after she was gone I noticed how much that was missing and started doing more of that. Also being alone made me realize I can literally do everything by myself, and some things I wish had done more of when she were alive. For example she was more organized when it came to calendars and scheduling so she did more of that, but taking on that role solo I realized I can and should’ve been doing more of that all along.

My husband is also a DCUM unicorn so I believe you are real.

I am not in any way discounting your self-proclaimed status but I think you should have led with the circumstances that led you to your current situation. I think having lost your first wife at a young age and having to be a single dad for years has shaped the kind of husband you are now.

My husband and I were both married before, although neither of us had any kids in our first marriage. I think that made us so much more grateful for each other than we would have been had we met when we were younger and never married. We don't take things too seriously because we're just so grateful to have found each other and built the life we wanted after some initial missteps.

My best friend and her husband endured a tragic loss of triplets when they were younger and have now found an amazing zest for life and joyful attitude that life is wonderful and their marriage is rock solid. I don't know if they'd be the same had they not gone through that horrible experience, but I can't imagine they would be. So while their marriage is one to envy, their path is not, and I think it would be impossible to replicate their situation.

So, all that to say, I'm glad you're a great husband and father. Having my own one of those I know how unbelievably lucky I am. But I also know that sometimes that is forged out of hardship and I think that makes it all a bit more complicated than saying here are some tips anyone can do to be a better spouse or parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you a great husband and father while your first wife was alive?

Yes although her death forced me to take on elements of parenting that weren’t my specialty. For example, she was very warm and loving and physically affectionate. Lots of hugging snuggling kissing etc. That wasn’t naturally the way I was with the kids but after she was gone I noticed how much that was missing and started doing more of that. Also being alone made me realize I can literally do everything by myself, and some things I wish had done more of when she were alive. For example she was more organized when it came to calendars and scheduling so she did more of that, but taking on that role solo I realized I can and should’ve been doing more of that all along.

My husband is also a DCUM unicorn so I believe you are real.

I am not in any way discounting your self-proclaimed status but I think you should have led with the circumstances that led you to your current situation. I think having lost your first wife at a young age and having to be a single dad for years has shaped the kind of husband you are now.

My husband and I were both married before, although neither of us had any kids in our first marriage. I think that made us so much more grateful for each other than we would have been had we met when we were younger and never married. We don't take things too seriously because we're just so grateful to have found each other and built the life we wanted after some initial missteps.

My best friend and her husband endured a tragic loss of triplets when they were younger and have now found an amazing zest for life and joyful attitude that life is wonderful and their marriage is rock solid. I don't know if they'd be the same had they not gone through that horrible experience, but I can't imagine they would be. So while their marriage is one to envy, their path is not, and I think it would be impossible to replicate their situation.

So, all that to say, I'm glad you're a great husband and father. Having my own one of those I know how unbelievably lucky I am. But I also know that sometimes that is forged out of hardship and I think that makes it all a bit more complicated than saying here are some tips anyone can do to be a better spouse or parent.

That all rings true to me. I think your perspective of just being grateful is very much how I approach the world now. I see how fragile it all is and how temporary it all is so I’m just grateful that some things have worked out well. I just posted this because I read so much negativity about husbands I always think about how I would’ve handled things differently than the descriptions of DH I see on here.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you're exceptional? You're describing most fathers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you're exceptional? You're describing most fathers.

Compared to the fathers i know in real life, not really. Compared to what i see discussed here, yes. And I guess it’s not really a fair sample of course because most people come here to complain because why post if everything is going well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh is like you. I’m so grateful. They DO exist.

My only question: what is a fault of yours. You’re not perfect (nobody is), so what do you think is the one thing your dw would change about you?

Oh wow good question.

I have a tendency to obsess a little over health things, even though intellectually I know they aren’t a big deal. They can cause my stress level to increase more than it needs to. I’m talking about like thinking every skin thing is cancer. I also overdo the worrying a bit about how past choices may affect my future. I wonder a lot if the drinking I did in college will impact my health down the line.

Also I think there have been times where I have used matter of fact language in disagreements about sensitive topics and I should have thought more about how my words would land before I said them.

I'm a DW, and I am like what you posted, except the drinking part. I never drank in college. I know, I'm boring.

does this make me a great wife and mom? No, because in order to be that, I have to put out more often, and I don't. Thanks menopause and stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your daily routine look like for childcare and household tasks?

This can vary a bit. My wife has older kids, one in college, and when she is around on breaks and stuff she participates a good deal in our day to day and helps out with my kids. I do the majority of stuff relating to my kids though and my wife helps.

Give us the breakdown day to day what do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you're exceptional? You're describing most fathers.

Compared to the fathers i know in real life, not really. Compared to what i see discussed here, yes. And I guess it’s not really a fair sample of course because most people come here to complain because why post if everything is going well.

I'm sorry you're surrounded by losers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would your wife and childreen afree that you are a great husband and father?

And because nobody is perfect .
What would they say your flaw is?

And finally, why do you come to DCUM pretending to be different male characters? 2 weeks ago you were lovely confident cad of a single guy, and today you are perfect husband emotionally aware husband with tragic story to go? Are you trying out an AI version of the perfect man?

Is this "high value man" trying on a personality of what the other thread told him might actually be perceived as high value? Emotional intelligence, does housework, good dad... It's reading like someone who took that feedback and rolled a new character.

Precisely.

[Anonymous]

What is your sex life like?

[Anonymous]

Is your wife on DCUM too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your daily routine look like for childcare and household tasks?

This can vary a bit. My wife has older kids, one in college, and when she is around on breaks and stuff she participates a good deal in our day to day and helps out with my kids. I do the majority of stuff relating to my kids though and my wife helps.

Give us the breakdown day to day what do you do?

5-6:30 workout and prep my day
6:30-8 prep kids day
8-5 work
5-9 dinner, hw, 2 nights each week the kids have sports or activities
9-11 clean up, if I have time do something for one of my hobbies or projects or watch show

My wife helps out with some of that when she can but she has her own child in HS still and her own full time job.