I am a great husband and father, AMA.

[Anonymous]

How many days would you spend at the Grand Canyon if you had to plan a trip?

[Anonymous]

The emotionally unavailable ones had trauma in childhood supposedly. Was you childhood great?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you always been this good or was there a learning curve? I'm wondering if you had to work and invest time into becoming a great, involved partner and dad or if it just came naturally.

Oh wow another good question. No there actually was a big learning curve in many ways. I got married young, at 25, and I was pretty immature in a variety of ways. For one, I wasn’t comfortable with myself sexually and I think I relied too much on alcohol or THC to be comfortable enough to have sex. At the beginning of our relationship I wasn’t very forward thinking, and didn’t have a big plan in place for the future in terms of kids, a house, choosing a place to live, saving money, etc. Luckily for me my wife was very organized at this time and due to a rough childhood with family and financial issues she was very attuned to that stuff. She basically created the life plan which we are living today, and she had that all planned out in our late 20s, which I am very thankful for.

I think the conflict piece was already in place because I’ve always been good at controlling my emotions and not overreacting and we never really had big fights or arguments.

The being a father part did take work. I felt like with babies I just didn’t know how to stop the crying when our kid was colicky and that really made me frustrated and felt like I wasn’t a good parent. The same thing happened with my son when he was 2-3. He was very difficult, always upset about something and I would get so frustrated. There were a lot of moments when I felt very much less than. It took a lot of time and practice and trial and error for me to find myself as a father and to come at these difficult situations from a place of love and humility.

Also the worrying about health piece with the kids needed some work. When I felt like I perhaps made the wrong decision about taking kids to the doctor or not, or maybe I did something to get them sick, that would cause me a lot of anxiety. But I have worked to get that under control and it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The emotionally unavailable ones had trauma in childhood supposedly. Was you childhood great?

My childhood was good. My parents were very loving and took great care of my siblings and I. The one issue was they were a bit laissez faire with rules and boundaries and I got a little too into drinking and drugs at the end of high school which continued into college and took a big toll on my mental health. I was able to come out of that relatively unscathed though, still graduated college and found a good career. Didn’t ever do anything too harmful when drunk/high but I did have some time periods where my mental health spiraled and I felt out of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

The neighbor kids come to hang out in my garage with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

The other piece of this story is that my first wife died when my kids were very young. After she died people gave me a lot of credit because I had both kids, essentially two toddlers, by myself. In that period when I had young kids but wasn’t dating (5 years) I got quite a lot of recognition. This was quite a while ago now though, and I have since remarried a new and wonderful woman 😊. But I think people generally viewed me as a good father and husband before I was a solo parent as well.

[Anonymous]

Did you always do half the cleaning? Or did that change over time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

The other piece of this story is that my first wife died when my kids were very young. After she died people gave me a lot of credit because I had both kids, essentially two toddlers, by myself. In that period when I had young kids but wasn’t dating (5 years) I got quite a lot of recognition. This was quite a while ago now though, and I have since remarried a new and wonderful woman 😊. But I think people generally viewed me as a good father and husband before I was a solo parent as well.

Women all over the DMV just slipped off their chairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

Why would he care about what other people think? He should only care what his wife and children think about him being a great husband and father. That's all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Does your wife think so, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you always do half the cleaning? Or did that change over time?

Cleaning yes, but generally I was a less organized and more cluttered person. My wife was very organized with where she kept stuff and how well she took care of stuff. These are things I got better with over time by learning from her.

[Anonymous]

Would your wife and childreen afree that you are a great husband and father?

And because nobody is perfect .
What would they say your flaw is?

And finally, why do you come to DCUM pretending to be different male characters? 2 weeks ago you were lovely confident cad of a single guy, and today you are perfect husband emotionally aware husband with tragic story to go? Are you trying out an AI version of the perfect man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the opposite of everything I read about on here. I have fantastic relationships with my kids and I am a great partner. I am very in touch with my emotions and have very good self control. I manage my emotions very well during times of stress or disagreement with my partner. When we do have conflicts they do not become highly charged and emotional. I assume she is coming from a place of love and good intentions and the disagreement ends up being productive and making us stronger. Ask me anything.

I am highly suspicious of those who claim 'greatness' I think if you had said 'good' it would have been more humble. Also, I think your wife and kids are better judge about you than you.

I have never heard a woman say they were 'great' wives or mothers even when they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do other people think you are a great husband and father too?

The neighbor kids come to hang out in my garage with me.

This doesn't mean you're a good guy, it could mean you are overly permissive and lacking boundaries.

[Anonymous]

What does your daily routine look like for childcare and household tasks?