Reply to I am a great husband and father, AMA.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Were you a great husband and father while your first wife was alive?[/quote]

Yes although her death forced me to take on elements of parenting that weren’t my specialty.  For example, she was very warm and loving and physically affectionate.  Lots of hugging snuggling kissing etc.  That wasn’t naturally the way I was with the kids but after she was gone I noticed how much that was missing and started doing more of that.  Also being alone made me realize I can literally do everything by myself, and some things I wish had done more of when she were alive.  For example she was more organized when it came to calendars and scheduling so she did more of that, but taking on that role solo I realized I can and should’ve been doing more of that all along.  [/quote]

My husband is also a DCUM unicorn so I believe you are real.

I am not in any way discounting your self-proclaimed status but I think you should have led with the circumstances that led you to your current situation. I think having lost your first wife at a young age and having to be a single dad for years has shaped the kind of husband you are now.

My husband and I were both married before, although neither of us had any kids in our first marriage. I think that made us so much more grateful for each other than we would have been had we met when we were younger and never married. We don't take things too seriously because we're just so grateful to have found each other and built the life we wanted after some initial missteps.

My best friend and her husband endured a tragic loss of triplets when they were younger and have now found an amazing zest for life and joyful attitude that life is wonderful and their marriage is rock solid. I don't know if they'd be the same had they not gone through that horrible experience, but I can't imagine they would be. So while their marriage is one to envy, their path is not, and I think it would be impossible to replicate their situation.

So, all that to say, I'm glad you're a great husband and father. Having my own one of those I know how unbelievably lucky I am. But I also know that sometimes that is forged out of hardship and I think that makes it all a bit more complicated than saying here are some tips anyone can do to be a better spouse or parent. [/quote]

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