So frustrated husband refuses to go in cub scouts trip and I’m pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is halfway, so only 20 weeks pregnant. She knew DH didn’t want to go. She should have not gone and had kid not go.

There is nothing unsafe about walking pregnant. This is ridiculous.

Hiking can be dangerous and it’s been raining all weekend. It’s not exactly what most pregnant women do. It’s also hard to know ahead of time at what point you will be uncomfortable during pregnancy. It’s affects every woman differently. Most people know cub scouts is more of a dad bonding experience.

[Anonymous]

As a parent of a young adult: OP, you need to realize that as kids get older, activities will be more, not less, important to them. All the "forget activities, things are too kid-centric, they'll live" PPs likely have never had a child/teen who truly enjoyed, and benefited from, their chosen extracurricular activiteis or hobbies. My DD chose her activity, did it for all of K through HS, and loved it; yes, we had to be involved--at a minimum, to drive her to this activity, but I was much more involved in other ways. It really helped shape and define her and gave her incredible experiences from which she still benefits today. All that is to say, OP: Your DH needs to get his act together or your current resentment will curdle into toxic hate by the time your kids are in middle school and dad does nothing at all with them and lets you drive them, volunteer, etc. It's fine for kids to have activities and it's healthy, but parents who are a$$es of selfishness, well, their kids DO know it, even if the kids don't say it.

[Anonymous]

Op take kid on trip. Pack him up and leave at bed time. Stay in a hotel with a pool. Go for a swim. Get a nice meal. Go back the next morning.

Accept you will divorce and prepare accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Liking or willing to go camping is not a redeeming quality.

More of you need to become better people with a broader view of what might make a good parent.

so obtuse. I don't think OP likes camping, either, but since their kid is in the Scouts, and they are camping, and I'm sure he wanted to go, the dad should just suck it up. It's not like they go every weekend.

Op here. We aren’t camping in tents. We are in cabins. The beds aren’t super comfortable but it’s definitely a different experience than camping. My husband can sleep on the floor. He’s not here because he think it will be uncomfortable. I have no idea why because he wouldn’t give any reason except he wasn’t going. We have never been to a soccer game together . It’s so frustrating because I constantly need to do stuff independently from dh. He’s not interested. If it were up to him our kids would be at the ymca childcare once a week and outside playing some other days. He would never sign them up for sports. We are from a different country. I sign them up for activities so they aren’t watching tv, learning how to make friends. Living in the US is very different. It’s hard for kids to make friends in the neighborhood. We don’t have street soccer here or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Accept, ahead of time, what parents are willing to do -- and only sign-up for activities that match. I wouldn't do this. If it *required* parent participation for camping, I wouldn't be signing my kid up for cub scouts. Same w/crazy travel team schedules or some crazy swim schedule.

I think your husband is awful, but I agree with this take. Kid activities have completely taken over. It's a little absurd.

This. Also it's okay to say no in this case it would have been okay for your kid to miss. There will be other trips.

You know how pregnant you are this is at least your 3 rd pregnancy so you know what is possible.
You also know what kind of man you married and you thought t could push him into being different.
Your best bet here if you were adamant DS has to go was to see if another parent in the group or ab uncle, aunt or grandparent would step in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op take kid on trip. Pack him up and leave at bed time. Stay in a hotel with a pool. Go for a swim. Get a nice meal. Go back the next morning.

Accept you will divorce and prepare accordingly.

Op here. Thanks this is what I am thinking about doing. We packed up and I am looking for a hotel now. I don’t want to go back home because I’ll be even more stressed. I told dh yesterday my hip was hurting and I wanted him to go. He knows I’m stressed but obviously doesn’t care. Stress is really and for pregnancy. I’m going to do what I need to do I can eventually go back less stressed out.
Sigh. Thanks for the support. I was fine most of the weekend but this afternoon suddenly I just felt so bad. Almost everyone is there with both parents. I feel embarrassed for myself. Unfortunately, I’m not as fast as I am when I am not pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Liking or willing to go camping is not a redeeming quality.

More of you need to become better people with a broader view of what might make a good parent.

so obtuse. I don't think OP likes camping, either, but since their kid is in the Scouts, and they are camping, and I'm sure he wanted to go, the dad should just suck it up. It's not like they go every weekend.

Op here. We aren’t camping in tents. We are in cabins. The beds aren’t super comfortable but it’s definitely a different experience than camping. My husband can sleep on the floor. He’s not here because he think it will be uncomfortable. I have no idea why because he wouldn’t give any reason except he wasn’t going. We have never been to a soccer game together . It’s so frustrating because I constantly need to do stuff independently from dh. He’s not interested. If it were up to him our kids would be at the ymca childcare once a week and outside playing some other days. He would never sign them up for sports. We are from a different country. I sign them up for activities so they aren’t watching tv, learning how to make friends. Living in the US is very different. It’s hard for kids to make friends in the neighborhood. We don’t have street soccer here or anything like that.

Why are you living here instead of back home where you have more community support?

[Anonymous]

Dad here. Your DH is a loser. Generally, any man that refuses to camp is a loser. Especially if they are refusing to do it with their son.

I used to love those trips when my sons were little.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for you OP. And it’s only going to get worse with three. Yet another reason why being a SAHM is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Liking or willing to go camping is not a redeeming quality.

More of you need to become better people with a broader view of what might make a good parent.

so obtuse. I don't think OP likes camping, either, but since their kid is in the Scouts, and they are camping, and I'm sure he wanted to go, the dad should just suck it up. It's not like they go every weekend.

Op here. We aren’t camping in tents. We are in cabins. The beds aren’t super comfortable but it’s definitely a different experience than camping. My husband can sleep on the floor. He’s not here because he think it will be uncomfortable. I have no idea why because he wouldn’t give any reason except he wasn’t going. We have never been to a soccer game together . It’s so frustrating because I constantly need to do stuff independently from dh. He’s not interested. If it were up to him our kids would be at the ymca childcare once a week and outside playing some other days. He would never sign them up for sports. We are from a different country. I sign them up for activities so they aren’t watching tv, learning how to make friends. Living in the US is very different. It’s hard for kids to make friends in the neighborhood. We don’t have street soccer here or anything like that.

Why are you living here instead of back home where you have more community support?

t


How is this helpful? Not being able to play street soccer isn’t as important as making a living. Don’t be obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

[Anonymous]

OP, your DH is a loser. And he is missing out on some of the best things in life. Children are to be enjoyed, not avoided!

If I were on the camping trip I would send you to a hotel alone and watch your son myself. I would be HAPPY to do so, because I have compassion and kindness. I hope your DH gives it a try one of these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

[Anonymous]

He is a selfish jerk. I hate camping but my DS loved cub scouts and especially the camping. When my DH couldn’t go to the camp-outs because of work, I would go. It was not fun for me at all, but that is what you do for your kids if you aren’t an a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

I particpated in Scouts for two decades and never saw a single hint of any abuse. But, I guess you would forbid your daughter gymnastics because of Larrty Nassar.