Trigger warning: Feels like sexual abuse but “a doctor told her to”. Am I wrong to feel this way?

[Anonymous]

I'm a nurse. I still routinely do suppositories and sometimes enemas on constipated patients. It's not the first or even third thing we try, but sometimes nothing else works.

[Anonymous]

Talk about parenting being thankless! You accused your mother of sexually abusing you because YOU refused to poop, so she became worried, took you to a doctor, and followed the doctor’s advice, which apparently worked because you’re not dead.

You think dealing with an 8 year old’s sh!t was a sexual experience for your mom? And she’s a narcissist because what? She didn’t set up a research lab in her kitchen and invent miralax?

You are so out of line OP. Get help.

[Anonymous]

I had to do this to my son just this month. I explained to him very carefully why I was doing it and that I was sorry but it was for his health. We had been through every oral laxative and nothing had worked. Of course he was still mad. If he accuses me of abuse decades from now...wow.

[Anonymous]

I had something similar (no soiling myself or mental health/trauma issue though, I just had a couple painful poops and got it in my head to hold it in which of course (duh) makes the problem worse as it hurts more when you finally go). I never saw it as abuse. I understood that I needed the laxatives/enemas until I literally got my shit together/planned my diet and bowel habits better to go in a timely fashion. I don't know what options you think they had based on the fact that you were holding it in/etc. I don't think you can hang this on your mother; just seek therapy to process it and move on.

[Anonymous]

They still use enemas. If it gets really bad a doctor needs to manually remove the impacted stool. There’s no pleasant way to do it.

[Anonymous]

I think the answers are pretty much unanimous, which is rare on dcum. But I wonder if OP will listen.

I pity her poor mother…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the answers are pretty much unanimous, which is rare on dcum. But I wonder if OP will listen.

I pity her poor mother…

Seriously. First you have to give your child a forced enema to resolve their dangerous constipation. Then that same child accuses you of abuse. It's sh*tty in multiple ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk about parenting being thankless! You accused your mother of sexually abusing you because YOU refused to poop, so she became worried, took you to a doctor, and followed the doctor’s advice, which apparently worked because you’re not dead.

You think dealing with an 8 year old’s sh!t was a sexual experience for your mom? And she’s a narcissist because what? She didn’t set up a research lab in her kitchen and invent miralax?

You are so out of line OP. Get help.

This +1
OP needs to thank her mom, not accuse her

[Anonymous]

Traumatic, but not at all sexual abuse.
It was a medical treatment did out of love and concern for you.
I actually feel very bad for your single mom, you sound like you were quite a handful.
- Being a single parent is really really hard

[Anonymous]

Your mom sounds tough. I’m sorry people are being rude. Folks like to punch down here. You don’t need to listen.

[Anonymous]

So much fake victimization going on with gen z lately. Parents can’t even practice normal parenting anymore. What a disappointment after 20 years of hard thankless work to end up with such self centered poor-me brats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need to get some kind of clarity from someone who isn’t a narcissist about what happened to me. For the record, I grew up in the 1990s in the US.

As a child, I had encopresis — basically I refused to poo until it became a huge issue. This was naturally a huge hassle for my single nMom, who rarely took me to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. Cue later in life when there’s an actual word for what was wrong with me and it turns out it’s caused by severe stress in childhood as well as other things. Almost like the narcissistic abuse and neglect that started when I was a baby also grew up to be a bigger issue. But I digress.

Because of the encopresis, there was constantly attention on my genitals by medical professionals and my nmom. At some point in their wild 1990s way of treating this issue (clearly it must be physical and have nothing to do with my mental health!), they decided my mom needed to be giving me forced enemas. I was probably around 7 or 8.

So I have memories of basically being held down against my will, crying while being anally penetrated. I think this qualifies as medical abuse. She says she didn’t want to do it but the doctor said to. Am I in the wrong for feeling violated? I contend that if she “didn’t want to do it” she should’ve realized she was doing something wrong despite some doctor’s final attempts at solving my issue.

When I was in my twenties I researched encopresis and found out that it comes up in medical literature in the 1970s and again in the 2000s. In the 1990s there was basically no information on it, but I know now that she could’ve gotten a second opinion from someone who would do their research into what had existed before recommending assaulting me. There is a lot of literature available today about how most early treatments for encopresis amounted to sexual abuse so that’s nice for me.

When I made the mistake of confronting her about it, she informed me that “I only think it was sexual assault because my generation has sexualized the anus” bc apparently millennials invented anal sex. Don’t tell history!

Am I wrong to feel violated by this?

Ma'am, I think you need mental help, not because you were abused, but rather because you view an enema as sexual abuse. My mother gave me enemas. She was a pediatric nurse. It was very common practice for constipation.

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me glad I don't have kids

So thankless in so many ways

[Anonymous]

You sound nuts Op. Please seek qualified medical treatment.

[Anonymous]

Yes , OP. You are wrong to feel this way.

YOU gave her no choice. You are your own worst enemy.