How do I find a partner to have kids with? (Male 48)

[Anonymous]

Do not have more children, jesus. Focus on the ones you barely have now!

What is wrong with people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're too old. Focus on the kids you already have.

This!

[Anonymous]

Why would you do this to your existing children???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

No, the biggest barrier is that you're asking a woman to bring kids into a situation that is not optimal for them. You sound very selfish, OP.

As opposed to the 80% of children who are raised in either divorced, single parent or dysfunctional but married family situations?

That's an impressive statistic you just made up out of thin air.

Yes, OP is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not have more children, jesus. Focus on the ones you barely have now!

What is wrong with people

This. Kids aren’t collectibles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

A "very involved" father would give stronger consideration to how his current children would feel about this arrangement and becoming half-siblings to babies at this point in their lives.

What's your aversion to being remarried if you have all the other trappings of a domestic partnership?

- A divorced 52 yo man with college-age children who absolutely does NOT want more children but looks forward to becoming a grandpa some day in the next decade or so.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

A "very involved" father would give stronger consideration to how his current children would feel about this arrangement and becoming half-siblings to babies at this point in their lives.

What's your aversion to being remarried if you have all the other trappings of a domestic partnership?

- A divorced 52 yo man with college-age children who absolutely does NOT want more children but looks forward to becoming a grandpa some day in the next decade or so.

+1

OP here:
i mentioned i am "open" to the idea of 2nd marriage. it is just not my preferrred path forward knowing that a lot of marriages end in divorce, and 2nd marriages seem to be even more likely to end in divorce (just going by studies published online .. I'm not some expert on the subject) so why the entanglement? this is 2024 and if you look around in our society a lot of people in the western world are happy to have kids and raise kids outside a formal "marriage"

my kids are at the age where they are growing very indepdentant and don't need daddy and mommmy's time as much

my kids surprisingly or naively LOVE the idea of having baby (half) siblings and a big family .. we actually talk about it all the time .. they know my past ex gf who already had grown kids was not interested in more kids which is one of the reasons we parted ways ... my exwife and i have worked hard to foster in our kids a sense of love for all, empathy and kindness. not jealousy, insecurity and a feeling of step siblings might mean less time, resources, attention away from them

I get it that for most people having kids late in life or just having more than a couple of kids is highly stressful due (primarily) to financial, health, social, emotional issues but I have none of these. i don't have to work 40-50hr a week at a job and therefore can spend 100% of my time being involved with my kids (current and future)

my exwife also knows i am interested in having more kids and she never expressed any negative thoughts or emotions .. or a feeling that me having more kids means that her own biological kids will have less of my care and attention. or that they will inherit less $$$ (and there is a fair bit of $$$ to be inherited) if I have 1-2 kids that are not hers. she knows I would do right for all my children not just in raising them but investing in their own futures.

also someone suggested i'm like Elon musk (haha how dumb) I'm not interested in a dozen kids just for the sake of making babies. I'm interested in 1-2 more kids so I can actually have JOY in parenting them. Being a dad is my favorite thing to do and now that my own kids are getting much more indpendent I feel like now is a good time to have a couple more being that I'm relatviely healthy and no reason I should not be able to have a healthy 20-25 more year lifespan to raise them right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

A "very involved" father would give stronger consideration to how his current children would feel about this arrangement and becoming half-siblings to babies at this point in their lives.

What's your aversion to being remarried if you have all the other trappings of a domestic partnership?

- A divorced 52 yo man with college-age children who absolutely does NOT want more children but looks forward to becoming a grandpa some day in the next decade or so.

+1

OP here:
i mentioned i am "open" to the idea of 2nd marriage. it is just not my preferrred path forward knowing that a lot of marriages end in divorce, and 2nd marriages seem to be even more likely to end in divorce (just going by studies published online .. I'm not some expert on the subject) so why the entanglement? this is 2024 and if you look around in our society a lot of people in the western world are happy to have kids and raise kids outside a formal "marriage"

my kids are at the age where they are growing very indepdentant and don't need daddy and mommmy's time as much

my kids surprisingly or naively LOVE the idea of having baby (half) siblings and a big family .. we actually talk about it all the time .. they know my past ex gf who already had grown kids was not interested in more kids which is one of the reasons we parted ways ... my exwife and i have worked hard to foster in our kids a sense of love for all, empathy and kindness. not jealousy, insecurity and a feeling of step siblings might mean less time, resources, attention away from them

I get it that for most people having kids late in life or just having more than a couple of kids is highly stressful due (primarily) to financial, health, social, emotional issues but I have none of these. i don't have to work 40-50hr a week at a job and therefore can spend 100% of my time being involved with my kids (current and future)

my exwife also knows i am interested in having more kids and she never expressed any negative thoughts or emotions .. or a feeling that me having more kids means that her own biological kids will have less of my care and attention. or that they will inherit less $$$ (and there is a fair bit of $$$ to be inherited) if I have 1-2 kids that are not hers. she knows I would do right for all my children not just in raising them but investing in their own futures.

also someone suggested i'm like Elon musk (haha how dumb) I'm not interested in a dozen kids just for the sake of making babies. I'm interested in 1-2 more kids so I can actually have JOY in parenting them. Being a dad is my favorite thing to do and now that my own kids are getting much more indpendent I feel like now is a good time to have a couple more being that I'm relatviely healthy and no reason I should not be able to have a healthy 20-25 more year lifespan to raise them right.

Ew. Ew. I am so grossed out by this guy.

[Anonymous]

You said you are “open” to marriage but also “open” to just starting out with 50/50 custody. Most people consider 50/50 custody to be the only viable alternative when family life has become so horrible that you have to get divorced. You seem to see it as no big deal. So if you are looking for a partner who feels the same way, you’ve probably narrowed your field to idk, <1% of the women who are out there looking for a partner to have children with. At least the highly educated ones.

[Anonymous]

Women on this forum have extreme hate for older divorced men who either want more kids or get married with a younger woman. If you are one of those, what's your problem? I'm genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

A "very involved" father would give stronger consideration to how his current children would feel about this arrangement and becoming half-siblings to babies at this point in their lives.

What's your aversion to being remarried if you have all the other trappings of a domestic partnership?

- A divorced 52 yo man with college-age children who absolutely does NOT want more children but looks forward to becoming a grandpa some day in the next decade or so.

+1

OP here:
i mentioned i am "open" to the idea of 2nd marriage. it is just not my preferrred path forward knowing that a lot of marriages end in divorce, and 2nd marriages seem to be even more likely to end in divorce (just going by studies published online .. I'm not some expert on the subject) so why the entanglement? this is 2024 and if you look around in our society a lot of people in the western world are happy to have kids and raise kids outside a formal "marriage"

my kids are at the age where they are growing very indepdentant and don't need daddy and mommmy's time as much

my kids surprisingly or naively LOVE the idea of having baby (half) siblings and a big family .. we actually talk about it all the time .. they know my past ex gf who already had grown kids was not interested in more kids which is one of the reasons we parted ways ... my exwife and i have worked hard to foster in our kids a sense of love for all, empathy and kindness. not jealousy, insecurity and a feeling of step siblings might mean less time, resources, attention away from them

I get it that for most people having kids late in life or just having more than a couple of kids is highly stressful due (primarily) to financial, health, social, emotional issues but I have none of these. i don't have to work 40-50hr a week at a job and therefore can spend 100% of my time being involved with my kids (current and future)

my exwife also knows i am interested in having more kids and she never expressed any negative thoughts or emotions .. or a feeling that me having more kids means that her own biological kids will have less of my care and attention. or that they will inherit less $$$ (and there is a fair bit of $$$ to be inherited) if I have 1-2 kids that are not hers. she knows I would do right for all my children not just in raising them but investing in their own futures.

also someone suggested i'm like Elon musk (haha how dumb) I'm not interested in a dozen kids just for the sake of making babies. I'm interested in 1-2 more kids so I can actually have JOY in parenting them. Being a dad is my favorite thing to do and now that my own kids are getting much more indpendent I feel like now is a good time to have a couple more being that I'm relatviely healthy and no reason I should not be able to have a healthy 20-25 more year lifespan to raise them right.

OP, why aren't you leaving your contact info for the PP who was interested in your offer?

[Anonymous]

Troll.

Pushing fifty, HAS kids, doesn’t want to get married, but wants MORE kids.

What sane woman would agree to that??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women on this forum have extreme hate for older divorced men who either want more kids or get married with a younger woman. If you are one of those, what's your problem? I'm genuinely curious.

Oh I am, I really dislike men who get divorced and start a second family with a young second wife. And women, but there are a lot fewer of those. I feel that they abandon their original families and take a “do over” on something you shouldn’t do over.

I don’t really care about men who want to marry younger women if they don’t already have children, except that if the age difference is huge I think it’s kind of icky.

But yeah, the men who start a new family? Yuck yuck yuck. I have a huge bias. It’s probably unfair, and I would try to hide it or not act on it in public.

Maybe it’s biological because I have young kids. If their dad left us and started a second family I would deal with it for the sake of our kids, obviously, but deep down I don’t think I would ever respect him the same way I do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

A "very involved" father would give stronger consideration to how his current children would feel about this arrangement and becoming half-siblings to babies at this point in their lives.

What's your aversion to being remarried if you have all the other trappings of a domestic partnership?

- A divorced 52 yo man with college-age children who absolutely does NOT want more children but looks forward to becoming a grandpa some day in the next decade or so.

+1

OP here:
i mentioned i am "open" to the idea of 2nd marriage. it is just not my preferrred path forward knowing that a lot of marriages end in divorce, and 2nd marriages seem to be even more likely to end in divorce (just going by studies published online .. I'm not some expert on the subject) so why the entanglement? this is 2024 and if you look around in our society a lot of people in the western world are happy to have kids and raise kids outside a formal "marriage"

my kids are at the age where they are growing very indepdentant and don't need daddy and mommmy's time as much

my kids surprisingly or naively LOVE the idea of having baby (half) siblings and a big family .. we actually talk about it all the time .. they know my past ex gf who already had grown kids was not interested in more kids which is one of the reasons we parted ways ... my exwife and i have worked hard to foster in our kids a sense of love for all, empathy and kindness. not jealousy, insecurity and a feeling of step siblings might mean less time, resources, attention away from them

I get it that for most people having kids late in life or just having more than a couple of kids is highly stressful due (primarily) to financial, health, social, emotional issues but I have none of these. i don't have to work 40-50hr a week at a job and therefore can spend 100% of my time being involved with my kids (current and future)

my exwife also knows i am interested in having more kids and she never expressed any negative thoughts or emotions .. or a feeling that me having more kids means that her own biological kids will have less of my care and attention. or that they will inherit less $$$ (and there is a fair bit of $$$ to be inherited) if I have 1-2 kids that are not hers. she knows I would do right for all my children not just in raising them but investing in their own futures.

also someone suggested i'm like Elon musk (haha how dumb) I'm not interested in a dozen kids just for the sake of making babies. I'm interested in 1-2 more kids so I can actually have JOY in parenting them. Being a dad is my favorite thing to do and now that my own kids are getting much more indpendent I feel like now is a good time to have a couple more being that I'm relatviely healthy and no reason I should not be able to have a healthy 20-25 more year lifespan to raise them right.

OP, why aren't you leaving your contact info for the PP who was interested in your offer?

I posted here to get some advice (which I haven't got. I have gotten a lot of negative comments) .. I did not post here as a "personals" or to find someone from dcum.

also I don't meet her requirements *shrugs*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m divorced. I have two kids. I’m wealthy, good health (physical, mental), post grad education, have a good to great drama free coparenting relationship with the mom. I’d say I would be a decent catch for most 40+ women who are done with or not interested in more kids. Except that I do want more kids.

I do not want to get married again but I am not closed to the idea.

Yep. I do want to have a couple more kids. I’m very involved with my current kids (50/50 coparent 100% involved) and feel a lot of pride and joy in being a father.

What is the best way to go about finding a partner to have kids with? Ideally we live together as a loving couple and raise the kids as a family (preferably not married, but I’m open to the idea ) but I am also completely open to an arrangement of sorts where we split custody and raise them 50/50.

Obviously barriers are my own age and the fact that I already have kids. How do I overcome the rejections and find potential women who may be interested in someone like me and something like this.

You won't.