School wrongly accused my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is an honor roll student the whole year and manages how to find all the work and turn it in except 4th quarter when he stops turning in work. Then the school calls and says your child was accessing something inappropriate from a school issued Chromebook/iPad/other school device at midnight.
You need to consider the possibility your child is staying up really late and being curious is accessing inappropriate things instead of focusing on his schoolwork. Instead of just asking your son and believing everything he says, have you searched his history on his device? Have you stayed up late or set your alarm to see what your son is doing at midnight?

It was not him… Yes, I am on top of parental controls. The school already wrote an apology email.
But this is insufficient. I’m still stuck with a child who doesn’t want to go to school..

Do you think it would help your son if the administration, teachers and counselor met with your son to apologize to him in person? Being falsely accused, especially that age is difficult and embarrassing. You’re almost at the end of the year too, so maybe they can accommodate the last assignments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The middle school wrongly mixed up its facts, after I informed that, I will complain to Fairfax County on a separate matter.

They made a pretty serious accusation, and my child had to defend himself.

He’s very traumatized and missed one day of school.

I am not sure I can send him for the rest of the school because he’s teary over what happened.

I think it is hard to prove mishandled special education case but I do have some pieces for it.

Given so much negativity we experienced I think what I want is a permission to attend a different middle school… I am still processing everything that has happened.

Appreciate any advice if someone had to go through negative experience with essentially inadequate support for special education.

Don’t “alert the media.” The media is unlikely to care and if it does, that could seriously backfire on you and be terrible for your kid’s mental health.

Have you considered the possibility your kid is guilty of what he is accused of? And is lying to you? This seems like a far more likely scenario you should consider before going all Mama Bear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just here to sympathize and encourage you to raise hell. My DC threatened to kill himself after being wrongly accused of something (not as bad), and, in retrospect, I wish I would have done just that. If you are going to accuse a student of doing something that would draw the attention of local law enforcement, you better damn well make sure you have the right student.

I know! He was crying because he couldn’t complete his history assignment because they took away his laptop to investigate it further.

Just emotionally spent.

I don’t really know how to involve the media properly — now or later? When I also get a chance to process and calm down…

Sweetie. “The media” doesn’t give a shit. Don’t bother wasting that energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, pretty much…
Unsavory in this case = traumatizing.
DC keeps being teary that the school thought it was him.
I’m also traumatized - can’t sleep…
Freakin incompetence…

Are you saying that Other Larlo accessed or sent p*rn on the school laptop and they showed that material to your son in the office?

It sounds more like a threat was made if it’s of some concern to law enforcement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child is an honor roll student the whole year and manages how to find all the work and turn it in except 4th quarter when he stops turning in work. Then the school calls and says your child was accessing something inappropriate from a school issued Chromebook/iPad/other school device at midnight.
You need to consider the possibility your child is staying up really late and being curious is accessing inappropriate things instead of focusing on his schoolwork. Instead of just asking your son and believing everything he says, have you searched his history on his device? Have you stayed up late or set your alarm to see what your son is doing at midnight?

It was not him… Yes, I am on top of parental controls. The school already wrote an apology email.
But this is insufficient. I’m still stuck with a child who doesn’t want to go to school..

So keep him home the rest of the year. Nothing’s gonna happen. It’s a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, pretty much…
Unsavory in this case = traumatizing.
DC keeps being teary that the school thought it was him.
I’m also traumatized - can’t sleep…
Freakin incompetence…

Are you saying that Other Larlo accessed or sent p*rn on the school laptop and they showed that material to your son in the office?

It was something else. But yes. They showed it to my son…. And now I am crying how bad it was for him. I feel so sad for him.

In an earlier post OP said “He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement” but above says not porn?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement.

He has ADHD.

I have been in contact with School about lack of support on their part in response to my multiple emails requesting help. I told them that I intend to contact the county and mass media. This is of course, our desperation to get School ‘adequate’ attention (as they were simply footballing my child around ) and I really meant it and I still mean it. After all me and my husband pay a lot of taxes to support the school.

It is right after I complained, the school in rush, pulled my son in and accused him. he right away, pointed out that it’s a different child with the same first name who should be accused. I believe that was the schools way to shut me down, but instead it escalated even more. They didn’t even get their basic facts straight… digital footprint is usually associated with full names so all they had to do is to check which Larla did that…

Very tough times.

You mention digital footprint. If something your child sent to someone or received from someone, don’t you have have the emails or whatever it is on your side? Could you not just print that out and present?

You say “which Larla.” Is that supposed to be your son or is there also a girl involved that you could get help from?

They school accused her kid of something that another child did and he had to stay home until they realized the mistake. The kid is now upset, understandably and probalby has rumors going around about him even though he is innocent. It wasn't that hard to follow.

This is op. Thanks for your help to explain. Emotions are still raw so my style is not perfect.

To add, the school called me and said on the phone - “we found xyz that your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home.” — I was speechless for I don’t know how long. Then somehow I gathered myself and said I want to find out more and who exactly is the person who gave my son the idea for that search, because based on my conversation, there is always someone at school influencing my child to choose bad choices…

The school then asked if I could bring my son over with his laptop. When the school showed their XYZ pictures to my son he got immediately visibly upset and immediately replied that was a different Larlo! That Larlo is always on that website!

The quote above is now sitting in my head like PTSD.

Which laptop did they use to show him these pictures?

Their own laptop with screenshots of teacher-provided material which was the other boy’s activity…

Did the other boy access from your son’s computer? Otherwise not following how your son got caught up in this because the digital trail would be computer specific.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard keeping up with her posts. But, she said that the school apologized, which makes me believe that they were completely wrong in accusing this boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement.

He has ADHD.

I have been in contact with School about lack of support on their part in response to my multiple emails requesting help. I told them that I intend to contact the county and mass media. This is of course, our desperation to get School ‘adequate’ attention (as they were simply footballing my child around ) and I really meant it and I still mean it. After all me and my husband pay a lot of taxes to support the school.

It is right after I complained, the school in rush, pulled my son in and accused him. he right away, pointed out that it’s a different child with the same first name who should be accused. I believe that was the schools way to shut me down, but instead it escalated even more. They didn’t even get their basic facts straight… digital footprint is usually associated with full names so all they had to do is to check which Larla did that…

Very tough times.

You mention digital footprint. If something your child sent to someone or received from someone, don’t you have have the emails or whatever it is on your side? Could you not just print that out and present?

You say “which Larla.” Is that supposed to be your son or is there also a girl involved that you could get help from?

They school accused her kid of something that another child did and he had to stay home until they realized the mistake. The kid is now upset, understandably and probalby has rumors going around about him even though he is innocent. It wasn't that hard to follow.

This is op. Thanks for your help to explain. Emotions are still raw so my style is not perfect.

To add, the school called me and said on the phone - “we found xyz that your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home.” — I was speechless for I don’t know how long. Then somehow I gathered myself and said I want to find out more and who exactly is the person who gave my son the idea for that search, because based on my conversation, there is always someone at school influencing my child to choose bad choices…

The school then asked if I could bring my son over with his laptop. When the school showed their XYZ pictures to my son he got immediately visibly upset and immediately replied that was a different Larlo! That Larlo is always on that website!

The quote above is now sitting in my head like PTSD.

Which laptop did they use to show him these pictures?

Their own laptop with screenshots of teacher-provided material which was the other boy’s activity…

This doesn’t make sense. So admin and the teacher now have these pictures on their laptops?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement.

He has ADHD.

I have been in contact with School about lack of support on their part in response to my multiple emails requesting help. I told them that I intend to contact the county and mass media. This is of course, our desperation to get School ‘adequate’ attention (as they were simply footballing my child around ) and I really meant it and I still mean it. After all me and my husband pay a lot of taxes to support the school.

It is right after I complained, the school in rush, pulled my son in and accused him. he right away, pointed out that it’s a different child with the same first name who should be accused. I believe that was the schools way to shut me down, but instead it escalated even more. They didn’t even get their basic facts straight… digital footprint is usually associated with full names so all they had to do is to check which Larla did that…

Very tough times.

You mention digital footprint. If something your child sent to someone or received from someone, don’t you have have the emails or whatever it is on your side? Could you not just print that out and present?

You say “which Larla.” Is that supposed to be your son or is there also a girl involved that you could get help from?

They school accused her kid of something that another child did and he had to stay home until they realized the mistake. The kid is now upset, understandably and probalby has rumors going around about him even though he is innocent. It wasn't that hard to follow.

This is op. Thanks for your help to explain. Emotions are still raw so my style is not perfect.

To add, the school called me and said on the phone - “we found xyz that your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home.” — I was speechless for I don’t know how long. Then somehow I gathered myself and said I want to find out more and who exactly is the person who gave my son the idea for that search, because based on my conversation, there is always someone at school influencing my child to choose bad choices…

The school then asked if I could bring my son over with his laptop. When the school showed their XYZ pictures to my son he got immediately visibly upset and immediately replied that was a different Larlo! That Larlo is always on that website!

The quote above is now sitting in my head like PTSD.

Which laptop did they use to show him these pictures?

Their own laptop with screenshots of teacher-provided material which was the other boy’s activity…

This doesn’t make sense. So admin and the teacher now have these pictures on their laptops?

OP- discussion on missed assignments and what to do is getting lost in everyone being confused by what was accused of. If share here what was accessed by other kid and if did from your son’s computer, would think could get everyone back to your most immediate concern for the what to do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement.

He has ADHD.

I have been in contact with School about lack of support on their part in response to my multiple emails requesting help. I told them that I intend to contact the county and mass media. This is of course, our desperation to get School ‘adequate’ attention (as they were simply footballing my child around ) and I really meant it and I still mean it. After all me and my husband pay a lot of taxes to support the school.

It is right after I complained, the school in rush, pulled my son in and accused him. he right away, pointed out that it’s a different child with the same first name who should be accused. I believe that was the schools way to shut me down, but instead it escalated even more. They didn’t even get their basic facts straight… digital footprint is usually associated with full names so all they had to do is to check which Larla did that…

Very tough times.

You mention digital footprint. If something your child sent to someone or received from someone, don’t you have have the emails or whatever it is on your side? Could you not just print that out and present?

You say “which Larla.” Is that supposed to be your son or is there also a girl involved that you could get help from?

They school accused her kid of something that another child did and he had to stay home until they realized the mistake. The kid is now upset, understandably and probalby has rumors going around about him even though he is innocent. It wasn't that hard to follow.

This is op. Thanks for your help to explain. Emotions are still raw so my style is not perfect.

To add, the school called me and said on the phone - “we found xyz that your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home.” — I was speechless for I don’t know how long. Then somehow I gathered myself and said I want to find out more and who exactly is the person who gave my son the idea for that search, because based on my conversation, there is always someone at school influencing my child to choose bad choices…

The school then asked if I could bring my son over with his laptop. When the school showed their XYZ pictures to my son he got immediately visibly upset and immediately replied that was a different Larlo! That Larlo is always on that website!

The quote above is now sitting in my head like PTSD.

Which laptop did they use to show him these pictures?

Their own laptop with screenshots of teacher-provided material which was the other boy’s activity…

Did the other boy access from your son’s computer? Otherwise not following how your son got caught up in this because the digital trail would be computer specific.

If was threat to school or other student or teacher, would be glad school investigated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The middle school wrongly mixed up its facts, after I informed that, I will complain to Fairfax County on a separate matter.

They made a pretty serious accusation, and my child had to defend himself.

He’s very traumatized and missed one day of school.

I am not sure I can send him for the rest of the school because he’s teary over what happened.

I think it is hard to prove mishandled special education case but I do have some pieces for it.

Given so much negativity we experienced I think what I want is a permission to attend a different middle school… I am still processing everything that has happened.

Appreciate any advice if someone had to go through negative experience with essentially inadequate support for special education.

Don’t “alert the media.” The media is unlikely to care and if it does, that could seriously backfire on you and be terrible for your kid’s mental health.

Have you considered the possibility your kid is guilty of what he is accused of? And is lying to you? This seems like a far more likely scenario you should consider before going all Mama Bear.

+1.

[Anonymous]

School wrongly accused my child

my 13 year old was accused of taking pictures of some girls. He was called to the office, and he had to talk to the SRO, Principal, and assistant principal at the middle school. They wouldn't let him know why, they just asked him to see his phone because they said he took pictures. The only pictures he did take was with his friend earlier that day. He thought he was going to get in trouble because he took selfies with his friend doing 1st period, when he was in the office he said "ok I'll delete them." then he delete them and he also delete from the phone. After he delete them the SRO asked him why he took pictures of female students. He said he didn't and the only pictures he took that day was with his friend in 1st period, the reason he delete it was because he didn't want to get in trouble for having his phone out. Later they called his friend down and he also had to write a statement on what happen. My kid was in the office for the rest of the day, and wouldn't be allowed back in school till everything gets clears out. After break they talked to each student in that 1st period class to see if they could remember what happened, none of them remember anyone taking inappropriate pictures. A few days later he was allowed back in. Not once did anyone in the school said sorry to him. He doesn't like girls and even if he did he wouldn't take pictrues of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was accused of something that would draw attention of a local law enforcement.

He has ADHD.

I have been in contact with School about lack of support on their part in response to my multiple emails requesting help. I told them that I intend to contact the county and mass media. This is of course, our desperation to get School ‘adequate’ attention (as they were simply footballing my child around ) and I really meant it and I still mean it. After all me and my husband pay a lot of taxes to support the school.

It is right after I complained, the school in rush, pulled my son in and accused him. he right away, pointed out that it’s a different child with the same first name who should be accused. I believe that was the schools way to shut me down, but instead it escalated even more. They didn’t even get their basic facts straight… digital footprint is usually associated with full names so all they had to do is to check which Larla did that…

Very tough times.

You mention digital footprint. If something your child sent to someone or received from someone, don’t you have have the emails or whatever it is on your side? Could you not just print that out and present?

You say “which Larla.” Is that supposed to be your son or is there also a girl involved that you could get help from?

They school accused her kid of something that another child did and he had to stay home until they realized the mistake. The kid is now upset, understandably and probalby has rumors going around about him even though he is innocent. It wasn't that hard to follow.

This is op. Thanks for your help to explain. Emotions are still raw so my style is not perfect.

To add, the school called me and said on the phone - “we found xyz that your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home.” — I was speechless for I don’t know how long. Then somehow I gathered myself and said I want to find out more and who exactly is the person who gave my son the idea for that search, because based on my conversation, there is always someone at school influencing my child to choose bad choices…

The school then asked if I could bring my son over with his laptop. When the school showed their XYZ pictures to my son he got immediately visibly upset and immediately replied that was a different Larlo! That Larlo is always on that website!

The quote above is now sitting in my head like PTSD.

Which laptop did they use to show him these pictures?

Their own laptop with screenshots of teacher-provided material which was the other boy’s activity…

Did the other boy access from your son’s computer? Otherwise not following how your son got caught up in this because the digital trail would be computer specific.

I think that was her point. My understanding is someone reported that "Larlo" had something illegal on his laptop (maybe a threat to the school) and this was verified with screenshot. They called in Larlo A and accused him, showing him the upsetting material, and Larlo A figured out it was Larlo B which they would have known had they bothered to check the last name of the laptop user in their records. They apologized indicating Larlo A was correct. What I don't understand is how this relates to the late school assignments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School wrongly accused my child

my 13 year old was accused of taking pictures of some girls. He was called to the office, and he had to talk to the SRO, Principal, and assistant principal at the middle school. They wouldn't let him know why, they just asked him to see his phone because they said he took pictures. The only pictures he did take was with his friend earlier that day. He thought he was going to get in trouble because he took selfies with his friend doing 1st period, when he was in the office he said "ok I'll delete them." then he delete them and he also delete from the phone. After he delete them the SRO asked him why he took pictures of female students. He said he didn't and the only pictures he took that day was with his friend in 1st period, the reason he delete it was because he didn't want to get in trouble for having his phone out. Later they called his friend down and he also had to write a statement on what happen. My kid was in the office for the rest of the day, and wouldn't be allowed back in school till everything gets clears out. After break they talked to each student in that 1st period class to see if they could remember what happened, none of them remember anyone taking inappropriate pictures. A few days later he was allowed back in. Not once did anyone in the school said sorry to him. He doesn't like girls and even if he did he wouldn't take pictrues of them.

This is not OP, right since about phone and not computer? OP said her son’s situation was “your son searched online and he did it at midnight from your home” and was laptop looked at.