School wrongly accused my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good summary.

But note, most of the times I was dictating and not ever proofreading. — I did not realize posts are evaluated for coherence and style… LOL

This was my venting space…

I guess, I should learn to post better and neater.

Sorry, guys. I will come back when I have good updates and the time to sit down and narrate like a pro.

Please don’t. You sound unhinged and obviously your son has problems. Absolutely no one is buying your sob story.

OP, for your sake, please don’t continue posting. You are not doing yourself any good.

+1
First time posting in this thread but I am betting OP will not believe that which is fine.
OP, I've read the entire thread. At first I was sympathetic to your situation but now after reading all you have written I am confident that there is more to the story and beyond that, that you are not an easy person to deal with within a school environment or I am suspecting others as well.

[Anonymous]

“Appreciate any advice if someone had to go through negative experience with essentially inadequate support for special education.“

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Appreciate any advice if someone had to go through negative experience with essentially inadequate support for special education.“

I’ll bite. My DD has Autism, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, and Depression.

All SN parents have to go through the school system without inadequate support. That’s the way it is! My advice to you after doing this for 10 years is do not make enemies of these people. You WANT them to help you and your child, even if you don’t like them, you need to show them some respect. If you decide it’s your job to battle them every day, you and your son will make NO progress.

As a parent, you need to be on your son DAILY - Sunday through Saturday. Follow-up to emails, learn to use Schoology, keep a calendar of your own, create a bunch of checklist, etc. Being a SN parent is your new part-time job that comes with no benefits and no break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good summary.

But note, most of the times I was dictating and not ever proofreading. — I did not realize posts are evaluated for coherence and style… LOL

This was my venting space…

I guess, I should learn to post better and neater.

Sorry, guys. I will come back when I have good updates and the time to sit down and narrate like a pro.

Please don’t. You sound unhinged and obviously your son has problems. Absolutely no one is buying your sob story.

OP, for your sake, please don’t continue posting. You are not doing yourself any good.

+1
First time posting in this thread but I am betting OP will not believe that which is fine.
OP, I've read the entire thread. At first I was sympathetic to your situation but now after reading all you have written I am confident that there is more to the story and beyond that, that you are not an easy person to deal with within a school environment or I am suspecting others as well.

+1. I reported this thread a few days ago because it does not seem healthy for OP who seems to be in an unhealthy mental space with the numerous incomprehensible posts. She has been given suggestions on who to contact. Her continued postings here do not help her.

[Anonymous]

OP, many SN kids need extra and timely parental involvement. Plus these kids also need external professional help, albeit temporarily till they can develop skills to overcome their gaps.

We hired an executive functioning coach for this school year. I dont think any public ( or private unless a SN specific one) school can solely provide the level of support you are expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, many SN kids need extra and timely parental involvement. Plus these kids also need external professional help, albeit temporarily till they can develop skills to overcome their gaps.

We hired an executive functioning coach for this school year. I don't think any public ( or private unless a SN specific one) school can solely provide the level of support you are expecting.

Thanks so much for your helpful post.

Agreed, except for the last sentence. I tend to believe, my expectations are not that high… I did not ask for the moon from the sky; I asked for the missing assignments that my son could not find, and I could not help, as schoology led to the dead end. I asked very politely, multiple times, over reasonable time period. That was supposed to be a teaching moment of learning from failures — when you fall down, you try your best to get back up.

My child violently denied my help earlier in the quarter with organization. He became aggressive in his denials, with tantrums we have never seen before; perhaps, this was a new prescription side effect… This is the reason why we started talk therapy, and stopped those meds (and anger situation improved - he WANTED to correct whatever he can and he finally let us help). We, the parents, were ready for low grades in q4, but we also hoped for an opportunity to make up. Little we knew that the assignment are golden and you can’t just get them that easily. The last three weeks of school does not mean you are too late, I thought, but I somehow was.

The county drags out the school year, with last three weeks kind of useless at least in this particular case. So, yes, be careful in q4, where the actual length is less by three weeks.

I don’t want good grades per se; I wanted the school to just do its job in providing productive / easy access, in this case, to the assignments that are belated but some of them can still be submitted.

Now I have another moment — when you fall down, you try your best to get back up, and you may face a preventive wall covered with spikes. Even then, you keep going.

My son requested if we could transfer him to the new school earlier on. His argument was, the teachers are mean, except for two teachers. We kept addressing his misperception during the school year, and explaining that going to the new school is not a solution.

We only have a therapist at this time. I will have to consider exec coach also perhaps. Thanks again for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, many SN kids need extra and timely parental involvement. Plus these kids also need external professional help, albeit temporarily till they can develop skills to overcome their gaps.

We hired an executive functioning coach for this school year. I don't think any public ( or private unless a SN specific one) school can solely provide the level of support you are expecting.

Thanks so much for your helpful post.

Agreed, except for the last sentence. I tend to believe, my expectations are not that high… I did not ask for the moon from the sky; I asked for the missing assignments that my son could not find, and I could not help, as schoology led to the dead end. I asked very politely, multiple times, over reasonable time period. That was supposed to be a teaching moment of learning from failures — when you fall down, you try your best to get back up.

My child violently denied my help earlier in the quarter with organization. He became aggressive in his denials, with tantrums we have never seen before; perhaps, this was a new prescription side effect… This is the reason why we started talk therapy, and stopped those meds (and anger situation improved - he WANTED to correct whatever he can and he finally let us help). We, the parents, were ready for low grades in q4, but we also hoped for an opportunity to make up. Little we knew that the assignment are golden and you can’t just get them that easily. The last three weeks of school does not mean you are too late, I thought, but I somehow was.

The county drags out the school year, with last three weeks kind of useless at least in this particular case. So, yes, be careful in q4, where the actual length is less by three weeks.

I don’t want good grades per se; I wanted the school to just do its job in providing productive / easy access, in this case, to the assignments that are belated but some of them can still be submitted.

Now I have another moment — when you fall down, you try your best to get back up, and you may face a preventive wall covered with spikes. Even then, you keep going.

My son requested if we could transfer him to the new school earlier on. His argument was, the teachers are mean, except for two teachers. We kept addressing his misperception during the school year, and explaining that going to the new school is not a solution.

We only have a therapist at this time. I will have to consider exec coach also perhaps. Thanks again for sharing.

One of the biggest lessons from this event should be, yes, three weeks at the end of the year is not enough time to make up multiple missing assignments. This activity really needs to happen in April. Teachers were finalizing report cards last week so the last two weeks of the quarter are absolutely a bust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

There are so many odd and offensive parts of this post that I do not know where to begin.
This entire thread has brought out such bizarre people that I can't stop reading it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

??

Exactly. What was the point of that post? Perhaps those of us who went to state colleges just aren’t smart enough to understand.

[Anonymous]

So what is “sensitive territory”? Segregation of children into (1) smart and (2) not—smart-enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

??

Exactly. What was the point of that post? Perhaps those of us who went to state colleges just aren’t smart enough to understand.

"??" because the PP was all over the place. The quoted post was rambling and difficult to understand. Even your post here makes no sense. What do state colleges have to do with anything else in this thread? The same can be said about everything else in bold. Your kid went to Princeton and a friend went to Penn and Columbia. Then you make some random comment about Radford and switch to suburban Chicago schools. You look down on PE teachers and those who attended "mediocre" state schools. The only connection I can make is that you feel you are better than those who attend, have attended, or work in public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your spots = Pick your battles?

Spots refers to timing. Better than battles. Needless to say don’t fight unless you can win. My kid went to Princeton- did not inform the teacher at issue as she wasn’t adept enough to comprehend high level work no matter what one told her. My father was a PE major from a mediocre state school which was his last stop after being kicked out of two other schools and he had no idea of the level of work my brother and I were doing. I knew the score with this teacher - a lifetime of dealing with a poorly educated father who ended up leaving the family in any event was helpful. A close friend is a Penn and Columbia grad in education and it used to make me chuckle that her colleagues never really comprehended how bright she was. Why should they when Radford gives you all you need? I never would have come across this situation in my suburban Chicago high school, which is better by far than any school here save for a magnet like TJ. Not so sure that is a great thing as Chicago is incredibly segregated even today. The school used to brag that it had diversity because Michael Jordan’s kids went there! My AP bio and English teachers both had PhD degrees from Northwestern (not education but in their field). Not only did they know good work when they saw it, but demanded it as well. Of course, there was no need to create safe spaces as competition was very much part of the landscape. My brother and I were among the best athletes in the state and not once was I ever subject to lower standards. I will say it is no school for special ed kids. By the way FCPS is good overall on a comparative basis but it comes with some sensitive territory.

??

Exactly. What was the point of that post? Perhaps those of us who went to state colleges just aren’t smart enough to understand.

"??" because the PP was all over the place. The quoted post was rambling and difficult to understand. Even your post here makes no sense. What do state colleges have to do with anything else in this thread? The same can be said about everything else in bold. Your kid went to Princeton and a friend went to Penn and Columbia. Then you make some random comment about Radford and switch to suburban Chicago schools. You look down on PE teachers and those who attended "mediocre" state schools. The only connection I can make is that you feel you are better than those who attend, have attended, or work in public schools.

PP here. Sorry. The "you" in my post was meant for the OP. Not you.