Strictly ranting: my kid is so average it hurts :(

[Anonymous]

OP seems pretty laid back to me. DS isn’t motivated, oh well…DS doesn’t have any awards, oh well… DS doesn’t have many interests, oh well…

Do you speak to your child about your concerns? What does he care about? Motivating kids to do their best starts at an early age. Maybe you need to spend some time together to get an idea of what is important to him. I was not a tiger mom, but I did insist my sons put some effort into their school work.

[Anonymous]

I have an average DD as well OP. Also in MS. She has a couple of Cs so won’t be getting any awards at their ceremony either. She’s sporty but at the rec level. Doesn’t excel in anything.
BUT about a month ago a team player was injured in a game and my kid was the one that helped her walk off the field. Last weekend a friends five yo was pushed into the (shallow end) of our pool and she helped him out and was rubbing his back because he was upset.
We have to see the positives in our children not compare them to those around them. It’s hard at times, but our kids will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds very sweet, OP, and he will come into his own and shine.

If his GPA is low, and he's "shy" and not focused, have you thought that he may have inattentive ADHD? My son has that (along with other issues) and ADHD meds were a lifesaver in middle and high school while he caught up. Graduated high school with a 4.67 GPA. Now he's in college and doesn't use his meds except for exam days.

Just making a suggestion.

Thank you! It has occurred to me, but it’s more like he either doesn’t want to work harder or maybe he genuinely doesn’t realize that the quality of work he produces is not up to par. Like, he will say - oh I missed assignment X and got an F, but I’ll ace assignment Y and make up the grade. Then, he gets a C on assignment Y and is flabbergasted.

Yeah, I think you should spend some time teaching him how things work and less time lamenting that he isn’t you.

[Anonymous]

Time to think about vocational school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds fine. Take up a hobby so you can flex your DC tiger parenting instincts on houseplants or something. Give the kid a break. Parents like this are why this is such a tough area to live in.

She’s literally the opposite of a tiger parent. For all the bragging about how she’s so smart, she seems out to lunch and disengaged on the parenting front. A smart mom should be able to look at her middle schooler’s tests and HW and advise him on how he can improve, OP can’t figure this out.

[Anonymous]

Vent away here and keep this worry and sadness away from your kid, as it sounds like you are doing. That’s the right thing to do and the purpose of anonymous forums.

Ignore any negativity. Your kid is great! There is no need to worry about any pressure in middle school. Some of the best advice I read here is to get them through the teen years without any addiction or mental health issues. The rest can be fixed later. It’s so true. Your kid has nothing that needs fixing right now. No drama, average grades, nice kid, not in trouble. You are in a good place. - parent of an older teen and HS teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP seems pretty laid back to me. DS isn’t motivated, oh well…DS doesn’t have any awards, oh well… DS doesn’t have many interests, oh well…

Do you speak to your child about your concerns? What does he care about? Motivating kids to do their best starts at an early age. Maybe you need to spend some time together to get an idea of what is important to him. I was not a tiger mom, but I did insist my sons put some effort into their school work.

You do realize Albert Einstein failed math class, right?

Relax! The kids are all right.

[Anonymous]

PP I feel your pain. As super-heroes ourselves , we always *knew* our child would excel and leap over all of humanity to outshine the sun. But it turns out his superpower is dumbing it down, hiding in the middle, calculating his GPA so he may not even really NEEd to take the final exam!!! Yes more than once! Ugh. And of course surrounding himself with dumpster fires and jockstraps to make it look like he found his people. And hide. He,s literally a 6’3” curly haired Adonis yet he hides under 40 extra pounds of flab. Trade school? We’re trying! It’s like pulling teeth. Good luck. These kids gotta get a little lost so they can learn to find their own way…

[Anonymous]

“
I know what I want and I usually achieve whatever I put my mind to.
“

So why haven’t you put your mind into making your kid exceptional?

[Anonymous]

What if your child thought of you as an average mom? And compared you to other moms who seem exceptional .. how would that make you feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I know I should be grateful he is healthy and reasonably good looking , and he actually reads for pleasure, and tries to eat healthy. However, this is about all of his accomplishments.

He is just so perfectly average, at least for our area, that it hurts. I was a good student, top of the class, elementary through college. I didn’t live in such a competitive area with great talent but still. I don’t earn a ton of money, nor do I have a high powered job, but I am quite often the smartest in the room, I know what I want and I usually achieve whatever I put my mind to. He, however, is always somewhere in the middle of the pack.

He is bright but I think he lacks focus and motivation. He also isn’t super likeable or charming, more on the shy side (also not like me).

I will never ever show my disappointment to him but I just feel very sad sometimes. They had an award ceremony at school today and a kid whom I knew as very average had a 4.0 GPA, while my kid has a 2.9. He also didn’t get a single award in any subject or area. It’s middle school but still.

That is all. I don’t think there’s anything to do about it but I wanted to get it off my chest.

Sorry but you sound average to me. The majority of humans are average, including myself. What's wrong with it? He is in middle school. Please seek therapy because you sound like you want to live through your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He likes to read? Start steering him to law. Get him some books with interesting cases like murder mystery or movies about law cases, I recommend Dark Waters or Erin Brokovitch

Why would you do this to this kid? NO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds fine. Take up a hobby so you can flex your DC tiger parenting instincts on houseplants or something. Give the kid a break. Parents like this are why this is such a tough area to live in.

She’s literally the opposite of a tiger parent. For all the bragging about how she’s so smart, she seems out to lunch and disengaged on the parenting front. A smart mom should be able to look at her middle schooler’s tests and HW and advise him on how he can improve, OP can’t figure this out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds very sweet, OP, and he will come into his own and shine.

If his GPA is low, and he's "shy" and not focused, have you thought that he may have inattentive ADHD? My son has that (along with other issues) and ADHD meds were a lifesaver in middle and high school while he caught up. Graduated high school with a 4.67 GPA. Now he's in college and doesn't use his meds except for exam days.

Just making a suggestion.

Thank you! It has occurred to me, but it’s more like he either doesn’t want to work harder or maybe he genuinely doesn’t realize that the quality of work he produces is not up to par. Like, he will say - oh I missed assignment X and got an F, but I’ll ace assignment Y and make up the grade. Then, he gets a C on assignment Y and is flabbergasted.

Ugh, I am familiar with this pattern. OP, I understand you. It is really tough to deal with. I would say more, but I feel like DCUM will probably roast us.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand why you would be upset at having an average son if you have exceptional accomplishments. But based on your description, you are average yourself so why would you except your son to be something different?