Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

doesn't seem like this was an uncomfortable conversation for OP - it was actually so pleasant she went online to share. the fact is, OP wanted to talk about this and jumped at the first pretext to do so.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.

The point is that OP wasn’t “pushing oral sex” on her 11 year old; she’s educating her child in an age appropriate way and making sure the lines of communication are open, so that her child knows they can come to her with questions. It’s a bad idea to pretend an 11 year old won’t know anything about oral sex as long as parents keep it a secret.

according to OP, her child has no interest in sex, she pushed the topic on her because "she she read some middle schoolers are doing it". i sure hope she cover threesomes, choking etc as well, because someone somewhere is doing it.

Right? And OP thinks its cute that her DD came away with a completely incorrect understanding (that it is not enjoyable.) Clearly her DD wasn’t ready for this level of detail.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

They’re 11. Plenty of young kids know nothing about sex (because their parents refuse to talk to them about it) and will absolutely believe it if someone tells them this. Doesn’t make them dumb.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

Oh my lord you could not be more wrong on this point. There is VERY GOOD data that thorough and clear education on all things frisky helps keep kids safe. It's the exact same way every other subject in education works. If kids don't learn about money, they don't know how to handle it and at some point feel ashamed they don't understand and will not ask. If kids don't learn about how to cross the street safely, they can get hit. You don't "let their friend teach them" those things. THIS IS THE SAME. It also opens dialogue with parents which is incredibly important. Other children are a terrible source of accurate biological information. Many adults don't even understand the menstrual cycle.

Sure but you don’t actually have to teach your child about all the different sex acts … 11 is young for that. As they are a bit older (maybe 13-14) seems more appropriate to discuss in terms of different risk levels.

Definitely not too young at 11 to teach them about it. They are already talking and looking at porn. You are so clueless.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

Really, REALLY NOT. Parents who choose to pretend their kids are not curious, don't explore, and don't look up stuff on the internet are the problem. Parents who openly talk with their children about HEALTH stuff are not the problem. But keep sticking your head in the sand.

So are you telling your 11 year old that oral sex is enjoyable and lower risk? I’m still confused by what this particular conversation is supposed to be about. Seems like a lot for 11.

I'm telling my child that there is such a thing as oral sex, that you CAN transmit STDs through oral sex, that she should not be pressured into it and that's it's still sex even though it is not intercourse. Again, feel free to stick your hear in the sand. I feel sorry for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

They’re 11. Plenty of young kids know nothing about sex (because their parents refuse to talk to them about it) and will absolutely believe it if someone tells them this. Doesn’t make them dumb.

it absolutely does make them dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

the point is not that "oral sex is sex". that part is not important. if you have a kid that wants to please the boy at all costs she is going to play along regardless of your lectures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

Really, REALLY NOT. Parents who choose to pretend their kids are not curious, don't explore, and don't look up stuff on the internet are the problem. Parents who openly talk with their children about HEALTH stuff are not the problem. But keep sticking your head in the sand.

So are you telling your 11 year old that oral sex is enjoyable and lower risk? I’m still confused by what this particular conversation is supposed to be about. Seems like a lot for 11.

I'm telling my child that there is such a thing as oral sex, that you CAN transmit STDs through oral sex, that she should not be pressured into it and that's it's still sex even though it is not intercourse. Again, feel free to stick your hear in the sand. I feel sorry for your child.

I mean that’s a really incomplete and misleading take on oral sex. It’s much lower risk (for STDs and pregnancy) and it’s the way many women enjoy sex the most. Personally I think it’s important to be totally truthful instead of scaremongering, and there are aspects of oral sex that an 11 year old just is not going to understand.

A more age appropriate and accurate way would seem to be more like: “people have sex because it feels good to their bodies and there is a lot of different ways to have sex. The important thing is that you and your partner always feel comfortable and OK about the way you are touching each other. Sometimes girls get pressured into sex ane that makes me sad. When you get older we can talk about some more specifics about it.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

Really, REALLY NOT. Parents who choose to pretend their kids are not curious, don't explore, and don't look up stuff on the internet are the problem. Parents who openly talk with their children about HEALTH stuff are not the problem. But keep sticking your head in the sand.

I must say I do envy your ability to convince yourself that lecturing your daughters on sex is going to make much difference.

So are you telling your 11 year old that oral sex is enjoyable and lower risk? I’m still confused by what this particular conversation is supposed to be about. Seems like a lot for 11.

I'm telling my child that there is such a thing as oral sex, that you CAN transmit STDs through oral sex, that she should not be pressured into it and that's it's still sex even though it is not intercourse. Again, feel free to stick your hear in the sand. I feel sorry for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my strongest memories of 2nd grade is the indoor recess when a bunch of kids gathered in the corner and started talking about sex. What we heard, what we’d seen— and the misinformation was wild.

And now OPs kid will be paraphrasing and spreading who knows what gossip about oral to her friends. It will probably involve cows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

Weird take on female sexuality. What girls actually should know about oral sex is that it is a way that many women find sex the most satisfying; and that it is comparatively low risk. As for being pressured to give boys oral sex - that seems like part of a larger conversation about how to not be pressured into anything you don’t want to do.

Obviously the pp was talking about someone else pressuring their daughters into performing oral sex on them, while you’re talking about girls receiving oral sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

the point is not that "oral sex is sex". that part is not important. if you have a kid that wants to please the boy at all costs she is going to play along regardless of your lectures.

So your solution is to let the boy educate her after coming her into giving him a BJ. That's like SUPER smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

You can't be serious? Oral without consent, HPV, cancer, UTI, social humiliation by jerks who film or spread rumors on purpose, regret, etc. etc, etc. All the same risks except pregnancy.