If you were a light sleeper, would you ask your two DC's (home for the summer) to please not get home at 2 am?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My kid is at George Washington U, and in their last parent newsletter, they had an article about kids coming home, and what ground rules to lay out. Being sensitive to the schedule of others in the house was the first topic!

This is a classic problem, OP, when college kids have gotten used to being up at all hours of the night in their dorms.

THEY have to adapt to YOU. It is rude of them to come in at inappropriate times, and regardless of what some posters on here are writing, after midnight (barring a few parties) is always inappropriate.

+1000

Being a considerate member of the household is a very, very low bar. Expecting them to adjust to living in the house after being in the dorm for the year is NOT out of line.

OP is already using an app and sound machine. Telling her to sleep with earplugs (which are uncomfortable for some people) is ridiculous when all the kids have to do with be quiet.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your house is poorly built if the front door and stairs make that much noise and you need to figure out how to keep that noise from getting to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

I disagree.

They are grown up now and should be respectful of all members of the household.

This. I tell my college kid the same thing. He can stay up all night and game online if he wants but I still have to get up early for work. If I have to bang on the wall more than once because he’s loud, there will be consequences. It’s basic consideration for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The home-owner, parent, and main purveyor of family money, has the last word.

Especially if OP is a woman in menopause who has difficulty sleeping. She is literally shortening her life expectancy if she cannot sleep in her own home.

The selfish kids can either sleep out or come back at a reasonable time.

OP here. Thank you for this. I am teary-eyed just reading your comment, as I appreciate your compassion.

I normally sleep fine when everyone is in bed at normal times, and so I don't consider myself to have sleep issues. It's just on those nights (3x per week on average), when DD or DS are opening the front door and walking through the house to their bedrooms at 2 am. As I stated above, I do use a white noise machine. And when our two DC's are in college during the school year (and when they were in high school observing normal waking hours), I slept fine. And I sleep fine on nights when our DC's observe normal waking hours.)

We have a younger DD in the house, and she is awaken when her older brother and sister come home at 2 am, but she is able to fall back to sleep relatively easily. Same for DH (but sometimes he too has trouble falling back asleep).

To me, this feels like a matter of courtesy. I would feel bad if I disrupted anyone's sleep, including that of my DS and DD.

If you are your younger daughter are being woken up by the sound of someone opening a door and walking down the hall something is going on here that can be addressed. What is it? Do they just have no idea how to enter quietly? Does the door squeak? Do they slam it? Do they wear shoes with heels and walk down a wood floor hallway? Are they talking on their phones? I suggest oiling hinges, carpets, removing shoes, and general tip toeing when they enter. You also need to consider a better white noise machine and perhaps ear plugs.

If they can't take steps to enter quietly, and you have also tried to dampen the sounds on your end, then, yes, they have to observe your rules. If they don't like it they can look for a summer apartment sublet.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I’ve told my kid I need quiet after midnight. If he were getting home from a job, I’d make an exception. But otherwise I don’t want people walking around the house late at night, because it disturbs the rest of us, who have to be up early.

[Anonymous]

I mean are they stomping around and being loud or are you awaking just from the general, unavoidable noise of the door opening and them walking quietly to their rooms?

I was a good daughter who followed the rules and made good grades and it really grated on me that my parents had a curfew of midnight for me while I was in college and home for the summers. I have a lot of bitter memories of arguing about it. My parents had moved to a house 45min further away from where I went to high school, so I had to leave hanging out with friends even earlier.

I wear Loop earplugs to sleep. If my kids were good kids, I'd have no issue with 2am. Later than 2am does seem excessive though.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s ridiculous people are siding with the kids. As the person who pays for the house, pays for the food (and makes the food), pays for college, and has to get up at 6 every morning to do it, I feel fine prioritizing my own sleep.

[Anonymous]

When they come home, they need to tiptoe.

Ask them to do that. No drunk rowdy laughing or opening the refrigerator.

Your request is not controlling in the least! Your DD sounds immature.
Im sorry OP!

[Anonymous]

white noise machine (or noise canceling earplugs)

eye mask

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:white noise machine (or noise canceling earplugs)

eye mask

This combined with asking them to be as quiet as possible when they return. (how would they return to a dorm room with a sleeping roommate?)

[Anonymous]

can you not use a fan or white noise machine?

maybe ask if they can get home earlier on weeknights. but i don't think its right to give them a curfew if theyre otherwise responsible, working, etc. college kids stay out late.

[Anonymous]

My parents gave me a midnight curfew my first summer back from college. I never came home again for more than a few days after that. As long as you’re prepared for that outcome, go ahead. I like PP’s idea of loosening it up on the weekends, that might work.

[Anonymous]

She wrote that she uses a white noise machine in the first post, people.

I use a white house machine, and the Calm app to get back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s ridiculous people are siding with the kids. As the person who pays for the house, pays for the food (and makes the food), pays for college, and has to get up at 6 every morning to do it, I feel fine prioritizing my own sleep.

Not all of us are so fixated on showing who’s boss with our children. Is this how you treat your spouse if they wake you? Or do you talk with them about finding ways to be considerate of each other? I don’t see my kids as any less worthy of respect and consideration than my spouse—and in return they treat me with respect and consideration.

[Anonymous]

If the kids are waking up the entire household when they come in (which is what it sounds like), they need to learn to be quieter. Take off their shoes at the door, tiptoe, etc. If they can't or won't, I'd probably institute a curfew on weeknights at least. But really, they should be able to come in quietly.

We live in a townhouse made of tissue paper, and we've all had to learn to move quietly in the house since we have people on different schedules (and I am an insanely light sleeper).