If you were a light sleeper, would you ask your two DC's (home for the summer) to please not get home at 2 am?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

Sad your kid doesn’t have any friends, and pathetic he doesn’t have a job lined up.

I'd much rather have that kid than one who parties regularly and comes home in the middle of the night. Nothing good happens after midnight, at any age.

Sounds like you never got LAID after a night out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomers , ugh

Not everyone older than you is a boomer, idiot. Boomers don’t have kids in college.

Genx boomers all the same entitled old people

[Anonymous]

You can make whatever rules you want, OP. I can tell you how we do it. I have 3 college age kids at home right now. They do not have a curfew (they are adults) and come home at all different times. Yes, sometimes after 2 am. I keep my door shut, but sometimes the dog barks and wakes me up when they come home. They are all very quiet and considerate when they enter a sleeping house. Really that is all I expect.

[Anonymous]

Does the Karen mom complain about leaf blowers or airplanes flying over the home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

I disagree.

They are grown up now and should be respectful of all members of the household.

They need to not slam doors etc. OP is responsible for figuring out her sleep issues to regular noise of someone coming home, brushing teeth/getting a glass of water and going to their bed.

I was this kid, though not disrespectful like this and my Mom was a light sleeper. I also waited tables and often closed.

I committed to limiting noise (no door slams, loud talking/laughing, etc) and she worked with white noise, for reasonable noise (house creaking when walking).

Your DCs asking them to keep the noise down as “controlling” in your home is gaslighting. They can do their part at 2 effing AM. Wow, lack of consideration to live rent free for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure they know that you are a light sleeper - so long as they are trying, I would put up with this for a summer. You may get more used to it. Find a solution for YOU because things like thunderstorms also happen in the summer. Heaven help you if your spouse coughs in bed!

The most fun things happen after midnight imho. I’m in my 50s, doing the whole meno and hot flash and bad sleeping thing and I have no expectations that my college grad live like an 8th grader.

As a fellow 50ish woman with older teenagers who is having a hard time sleeping, this is where I am. My kids are considerate and do try to be quiet when they come home late; for example, we have a basement bathroom, and we ask them to shower and get ready for bed down there when they are late so there’s less noise on the sleeping level. But sometimes I do hear them and wake up, and it sucks! But also, sometimes my spouse wakes me going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and sometimes outside noise wakes me—both of these things much more often than my kids.

[Anonymous]

I would try to adjust using earplugs or something AND insist go straight to their room when they get home. No messing around in the kitchen or anything.

My college kids come and go at the wee hours and it’s just something I’ve accepted. That is when they socialize

[Anonymous]

Do you wake up because they're being loud or because they are moving around the house? If they're being loud then I think you should tell them they need to be quiet. If your woken up by just the sounds of someone coming into the house and moving around then I would explore sound machines/ear plugs. I get it - we have an alarm and even when its disarmed the sound it makes when someone opens the door always wakes me up.

[Anonymous]

How often are they doing this? Ours did this occasionally on weekends when they came home. They tried to be as quiet as as they could but sometimes we heard them. Since it wasn’t multiple nights per week, we didn’t make a big deal about it. As a PP said sometimes one of us woke the other to use the restroom so it isn’t as if we always slept uninterrupted.

We opted to let it slide. In the grand scheme, it’s such a short period of time and we were happy they still came home during the summer.

[Anonymous]

Are they banging around the kitchen or simply unlocking a front door? Basically, how much noise are they making at 2AM?

[Anonymous]

I'm a light sleeper who has trouble going back to sleep also. Nobody can navigate the stairs even with the lightest step possible without waking me up. I always thought of it as a "me" problem in that is up to me to solve it. A louder white noise machine helps a lot. I've done earplugs in the past which work really well also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The home-owner, parent, and main purveyor of family money, has the last word.

Especially if OP is a woman in menopause who has difficulty sleeping. She is literally shortening her life expectancy if she cannot sleep in her own home.

The selfish kids can either sleep out or come back at a reasonable time.

OP here. Thank you for this. I am teary-eyed just reading your comment, as I appreciate your compassion.

I normally sleep fine when everyone is in bed at normal times, and so I don't consider myself to have sleep issues. It's just on those nights (3x per week on average), when DD or DS are opening the front door and walking through the house to their bedrooms at 2 am. As I stated above, I do use a white noise machine. And when our two DC's are in college during the school year (and when they were in high school observing normal waking hours), I slept fine. And I sleep fine on nights when our DC's observe normal waking hours.)

We have a younger DD in the house, and she is awaken when her older brother and sister come home at 2 am, but she is able to fall back to sleep relatively easily. Same for DH (but sometimes he too has trouble falling back asleep).

To me, this feels like a matter of courtesy. I would feel bad if I disrupted anyone's sleep, including that of my DS and DD.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, but you are in the wrong. I get it, but you have to make sure that they are coming home as quietly as possible. if there are being inconsiderate, then you have something to be upset about. I grew up on LI and we would go out in the city in the summers, take the (hopefully) 1:15AM back home and get home at like 2:30AM. My parents actually made me wake them up when I got home to make sure I got home ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs might help you or some white noise like a ceiling fan. Are the kids working this summer? Do they have to get up early?

+1 I wear earplugs to bed. Life long light sleeper. My college aged kid is home right now. They've been staying out late with their s/o.

Give them Friday and Saturday nights with no limits but midnight deadline for nights before work days.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think a reasonable compromise is that they're home by midnight on weeknights (don't they have to work, too?) and can stay out late on weekends (or whatever nights you don't have work the next morning).