If you were a light sleeper, would you ask your two DC's (home for the summer) to please not get home at 2 am?

[Anonymous]

Both of our DC's are college students. They are now home for the summer.

Both of them have summer jobs, and are mostly pretty considerate people. Our DD is not particularly nice to me (the mom), but is generally a considerate person. They are responsible and hard-working.

I wish that they saw their friends during normal hours, but it seems like our DC's insist that their friends mostly want to get together between 9 pm and 2 am. To keep the peace, I do not comment on that.

However, I have asked that they observe quiet hours from 12 am to 5 am because I am a light sleepover. I need to be able to concentrate at work. When they arrive home at 2 am, I hear them and so I wake up. I try to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I have a lot of trouble falling back to sleep. (When I was younger, I could just roll over and fall back to sleep. But now that I am in my early 50's, I find that I am basically awake once I am awaken after 12 midnight. I use a white house machine, and the Calm app to get back to sleep.

My DC's have said that it's "controlling" of me to ask them to observe quiet (non-moving) hours from 12 am to 5 am. My own mom (in her 80's) seems to side with my two DC's stating that they need to be able to have their fun in the summer with their friends, and that I should just use a rain machine (and ear plugs) to avoid waking up.

Any advice?

[Anonymous]

You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

I disagree.

They are grown up now and should be respectful of all members of the household.

[Anonymous]

Ear plugs might help you or some white noise like a ceiling fan. Are the kids working this summer? Do they have to get up early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Both of our DC's are college students. They are now home for the summer.

Both of them have summer jobs, and are mostly pretty considerate people. Our DD is not particularly nice to me (the mom), but is generally a considerate person. They are responsible and hard-working.

I wish that they saw their friends during normal hours, but it seems like our DC's insist that their friends mostly want to get together between 9 pm and 2 am. To keep the peace, I do not comment on that.

However, I have asked that they observe quiet hours from 12 am to 5 am because I am a light sleepover. I need to be able to concentrate at work. When they arrive home at 2 am, I hear them and so I wake up. I try to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I have a lot of trouble falling back to sleep. (When I was younger, I could just roll over and fall back to sleep. But now that I am in my early 50's, I find that I am basically awake once I am awaken after 12 midnight. I use a white house machine, and the Calm app to get back to sleep.

My DC's have said that it's "controlling" of me to ask them to observe quiet (non-moving) hours from 12 am to 5 am. My own mom (in her 80's) seems to side with my two DC's stating that they need to be able to have their fun in the summer with their friends, and that I should just use a rain machine (and ear plugs) to avoid waking up.

Any advice?

Would you mind if they just spent the night out and came home at 5 am? Honest question- seems like if they crashed on a friend’s couch, you can both get what you want.

[Anonymous]

I agree; it's unfair to give them such an "early" (for college students) curfew. I respect that you need your sleep though, so perhaps you can look into other ways to prevent yourself from hearing them or strategies to sleep more deeply.

[Anonymous]

It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

I disagree.

They are grown up now and should be respectful of all members of the household.

They need to not slam doors etc. OP is responsible for figuring out her sleep issues to regular noise of someone coming home, brushing teeth/getting a glass of water and going to their bed.

[Anonymous]

The home-owner, parent, and main purveyor of family money, has the last word.

Especially if OP is a woman in menopause who has difficulty sleeping. She is literally shortening her life expectancy if she cannot sleep in her own home.

The selfish kids can either sleep out or come back at a reasonable time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs might help you or some white noise like a ceiling fan. Are the kids working this summer? Do they have to get up early?

+1 I wear earplugs to bed. Life long light sleeper. My college aged kid is home right now. They've been staying out late with their s/o.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

Sad your kid doesn’t have any friends, and pathetic he doesn’t have a job lined up.

[Anonymous]

They are inconsiderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

Jeez, you sound triggered. How lucky of you to have an amazingly perfect kid. 🙄

[Anonymous]

I have a college kid. Neither him nor his friends, nor anyone in my friend circle, comes or came home regularly in the small hours of the night. I would not allow this in my house. His friends' parents would not allow it at theirs. My parents and my friend's parents would not have allowed it either.

Sleep is a priority for middle aged people. Sleep deprivation is linked to cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and increased dementia risk.

Your youngsters need house rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

Sad your kid doesn’t have any friends, and pathetic he doesn’t have a job lined up.

Hey, kids! This is why therapy’s not such a bad idea. Otherwise you might wind up putting your inner desperation on full display for the world to see.