If you were a light sleeper, would you ask your two DC's (home for the summer) to please not get home at 2 am?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers , ugh

Has does this add to the conversation? You don't even know if the parents are boomers. If kids fon't like the rules they could find alternative housing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a tiny bit of sympathy for you until this: [i]IMHO, it's a bit of an immature/entitled attitude to think that one can come and go 2-3x per week at 2 am for purely social reasons, if one knows that those actions have a negative impact on another person. [/i]
You want your young adult to stop acting like a young adult so as not to possibly wake you up. You don't indicate that your kid is disrespecting you in any way. Kid is going out with friends a few times a week. What would NOT be normal is for your kid to have to tell friends at 11:30 -- "Sorry gang, have to leave so that I don't make the tiniest bit of noise and wake my mom up after midnight"

When I had kids, I expected that there would be some sleeplessness in the early years. I ALSO expected that there could be some of this in the teen/young adult years with them coming home late. I do not think it is reasonable for you to ask your kid to ALWAYS be home by midnight. If you want your kid to move out ASAP, insisting on this is a pretty good way to do it. Depends on your goals -- do you want them around or do you want them to move out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

Agree. Wear ear plugs.

Dp. I hate ear plugs and can't wear them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a tiny bit of sympathy for you until this: [i]IMHO, it's a bit of an immature/entitled attitude to think that one can come and go 2-3x per week at 2 am for purely social reasons, if one knows that those actions have a negative impact on another person. [/i]
You want your young adult to stop acting like a young adult so as not to possibly wake you up. You don't indicate that your kid is disrespecting you in any way. Kid is going out with friends a few times a week. What would NOT be normal is for your kid to have to tell friends at 11:30 -- "Sorry gang, have to leave so that I don't make the tiniest bit of noise and wake my mom up after midnight"

When I had kids, I expected that there would be some sleeplessness in the early years. I ALSO expected that there could be some of this in the teen/young adult years with them coming home late. I do not think it is reasonable for you to ask your kid to ALWAYS be home by midnight. If you want your kid to move out ASAP, insisting on this is a pretty good way to do it. Depends on your goals -- do you want them around or do you want them to move out?

Dp. That might be a plan for next summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK to come back at these hours. How rude of them. Just because they're adults doesn't mean they're allowed to disturb the usual run of the household. Last time you checked, it was YOUR name on the title of the property, not theirs.

My son is home from college too and he would never even think of doing such a thing. His younger sibling is still at school. He drives to pick her up in the afternoon, mows the lawn, runs errands, volunteers, takes a class online, is looking for a job, and generally behaves like a responsible member of the household. It's nice.

Sad your kid doesn’t have any friends, and pathetic he doesn’t have a job lined up.

I'd much rather have that kid than one who parties regularly and comes home in the middle of the night. Nothing good happens after midnight, at any age.

Sounds like you never got LAID after a night out.

What a quaint expression!

[Anonymous]

I get mad at anyone who wakes me up at 2am. I don’t think that’s acceptable behavior. Come home at a reasonable hour. I’d be fine with them staying out late on an occasional Friday night but otherwise people need to work and get up early to exercise. There should be no time for staying out until 2am on your parents’ dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Both of our DC's are college students. They are now home for the summer.

Both of them have summer jobs, and are mostly pretty considerate people. Our DD is not particularly nice to me (the mom), but is generally a considerate person. They are responsible and hard-working.

I wish that they saw their friends during normal hours, but it seems like our DC's insist that their friends mostly want to get together between 9 pm and 2 am. To keep the peace, I do not comment on that.

However, I have asked that they observe quiet hours from 12 am to 5 am because I am a light sleepover. I need to be able to concentrate at work. When they arrive home at 2 am, I hear them and so I wake up. I try to just roll over and go back to sleep, but I have a lot of trouble falling back to sleep. (When I was younger, I could just roll over and fall back to sleep. But now that I am in my early 50's, I find that I am basically awake once I am awaken after 12 midnight. I use a white house machine, and the Calm app to get back to sleep.

My DC's have said that it's "controlling" of me to ask them to observe quiet (non-moving) hours from 12 am to 5 am. My own mom (in her 80's) seems to side with my two DC's stating that they need to be able to have their fun in the summer with their friends, and that I should just use a rain machine (and ear plugs) to avoid waking up.

Any advice?

Advice is you are sick in the head.

Grow up use ear plugs and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boomers , ugh

OP here. DH and I are Gen X.

I hope that each generation can be respectful of the other. I recently hired Millenials and Gen Z at work, and they are doing a great job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs might help you or some white noise like a ceiling fan. Are the kids working this summer? Do they have to get up early?

+1 I wear earplugs to bed. Life long light sleeper. My college aged kid is home right now. They've been staying out late with their s/o.

Give them Friday and Saturday nights with no limits but midnight deadline for nights before work days.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs might help you or some white noise like a ceiling fan. Are the kids working this summer? Do they have to get up early?

+1 I wear earplugs to bed. Life long light sleeper. My college aged kid is home right now. They've been staying out late with their s/o.

Give them Friday and Saturday nights with no limits but midnight deadline for nights before work days.

This

So if their work days are F/s and they are off midweek? Like most summer jobs.

[Anonymous]

My kids aren’t even out but up
Past 12… do I tell them no snacks after 12 because I hear them… or no talking to each other?

One doesn’t even get home from their job until 40 minutes after dark so 9:30.

No I put on a fan and a noise machine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to deal. It’s not appropriate.

Agree. Wear ear plugs.

Dp. I hate ear plugs and can't wear them

+1 I used to wear ear plugs because my DH snores, but they caused my ears to scab! We now sleep in separate bedrooms.

For those of you who are not light sleepers, it’s really hard to understand how debilitating it is to be one. I use a white noise machine, but it doesn’t always help. I have also tried relaxation techniques, but I am attuned to EVERYTHING.

[Anonymous]

Try one Advil pm at 9 pm. You will sleep straight through until 6 am!

[Anonymous]

Op, do not use "light sleeper" as a way to control other adults. If, overall, the living arrangement is not working, then they should plan on living elsewhere next visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
IMHO, it's a bit of an immature/entitled attitude to think that one can come and go 2-3x per week at 2 am for purely social reasons, if one knows that those actions have a negative impact on another person. (Even if my DC's tip-toe and walk slowly and quietly to their rooms, I hear it because of the layout and age of our small house. Sure, it would be lovely if our house were larger and newer, in which case the noise be much less noticeable.)
.

I was with OP until I read that is only 2-3 days a week (and presumably OP doesn’t work 7 days a week) and they tiptoe quietly to their rooms. Wear ear plugs and put thicker carpet down. Perhaps suggest they enter in a garage door or back door. I think a midnight curfew for college age kids is absurd when they are respectful when coming home.