That is not what the OP says, are you the OP or are you writing fan fiction? |
She does not need to keep anything a secret but why does she keep advertising this? And why has she singled out the kindergartner and not her 3rd grade peer? |
This is a rare case where restorative justice is actually called for. Kids are stupid (not their fault! They are little kids!). Teacher should sit them down for a conversation, teach a lesson, and then enforce anti-slander rules going forward. |
The OP doesn’t say the third grade peer said anything to the little girl— only that the peer “taught” the OPs child the word. The person who went up to the little girl and said something offensive was OPs child. You’re right. She does not need to keep anything a secret. If OP doesn’t want the ugly truth told about her child’s behavior she can work to improve that behavior. |
This is a truly hilarious and deeply worrying microcosm of gender dynamics in the U.S.
Oh yes we all agree the boys behavior was unacceptable but if the girl keeps telling the truth about his behavior it might ruin his (kindergarten) career! |
100% You don't ignore someone getting hurt. I tell my kid, if kids are being naughty (low class, but consensual, behavior), ignore it ad don't participate. But if someone is trying to hurt someone, get an adult. |
Most of you are batsh!t. A five year old can’t be racist. If the third grader’s parents had functioning brains THEY would have made sure not to make this “a thing” but no - they have to make sure their special snowflake feels “victimized” and “deeply hurt” by a freaking kindergartener who doesn’t have the mental capacity to distinguish whatever he said from “poopy head” or “buttface”. |
OP, I think you’ve handled this well, and are thinking about it in helpful ways. I also agree with the PP who pointed out how the third grader might be feeling and what she might be processing. While this might blow over quickly for your son, you have no way of knowing the impact of this incident on the other child.
One possibility is to seek guidance from the school, and find out what — if anything— the school is doing school wide to address these types of issues. I’m NOT suggesting that you do this, but I can say that I’ve worked in schools as a consultant, and, in a situation like this, with permission from the parents, I would meet with each kid separately to explore the incident— if they wished to do so. I would also ask each student if they wanted to meet with the other student with me to talk about what happened. That would give the other student an opportunity to share how she felt if she wanted to, and give your son a chance to do the same. The kids could then share a bit of play time together if they wished. I’ve done this a lot with kids, and the students involved almost always welcome the opportunity to be heard as a positive step in resolving any conflict — particularly when the conflict was not entirely intentional. I mention this suggesting one possible course of action. I’m not recommending it — because it’s hard to know if your school setting has someone in this type of neutral-yet generally positive role who could pull this off without it feeling like a disciplinary concern. (I worked at a school with K teacher who was universally respected and well-thought of. She often had similar interventions with even middle school students who had had her as a teacher. ) Tldr: Is there a counselor or other staff member at the school that you could consult for suggestions and possible interventions? |
Holy cow, you can’t be serious. Enjoy the consequences of this insane line of “thinking” which will almost undoubtedly be four more years of Trump. Seriously, SO SICK of people like you. |
“Advertising “? That’s an interesting word for an adult to use about a child who was on the receiving end of someone else’s hurtful behavior. Possibly because she’s hurt, even deeply hurt, and dealing with the loss of what she believed was a safe space. She’s talking about it because kids who are secure enough tend to talk openly about things that matter to them. She’s singled out the kid who’s behavior hurt her directly. She may not even be aware of the third grader’s role in this. DP |
This has nothing to do with gender, it could have been two girls. The 3rd grader on a personal vendetta to expose a racist kindergartner is ridiculous. |
Gender has a lot to do with this, if you're being honest. |
A five year old can’t be a racist but an eight year old can have a vendetta? Amazing. |
Which part triggered you? Actions having consequences or teaching your kids not to say mean things about the color of peoples skin because there’s a long sad history there? Because I have to tell you these are things my Republican parents had no problem teaching me in the eighties. |
Yeah human development is pretty amazing. A 2 year old who pulls my 5 year old’s hair is not labeled an aggressor. It’s not pleasant, but we understand they are learning impulse control. |