Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew I couldn't deal with being SAHM, I would go stir crazy. I enjoy contributing to society and extending my efforts and mental abilities to beyond that of a mother and wife. My DH helps a lot with childcare and home chores. We have cleaning service. When kids were younger, had nannies/babysitters in addition to kids going to daycare/preschool early on.

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

There is a very large menial component to being a mother. It’s pretty tedious much of the time. Compared to many jobs it is certainly less meaningful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

What if that is why people prefer to work?

It sure sounds like it, kind of sad. I was hoping to see more passion for the work.

I think it is uplifting that woman realize that they are financially responsible for themselves and their children.

[Anonymous]

Main reason is that it’s easier and I don’t enjoy spending all day with young children. I dislike screaming, changing diapers, playing pretend etc. I can’t relate to neighborhood mothers whose identities are tied up in childrearing and all things children. I wish I could, but I can’t.

I also enjoy the extra income as it allows us to enjoy many luxuries in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

What if that is why people prefer to work?

It sure sounds like it, kind of sad. I was hoping to see more passion for the work.

You sound very privileged and clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

What if that is why people prefer to work?

It sure sounds like it, kind of sad. I was hoping to see more passion for the work.

You sound very privileged and clueless.

As op asked people whose partners make enough for them to stay home, it's assumed the responses are from privileged situations

[Anonymous]

I absolutely would quit if I weren’t privileged with the combination of:
- super-involved grandparents on both sides
- a DH who contributes equally to childcare and housework
- a short commute and WFH flexibility for both of us, so one or the other is always at home

Why do I like working? I enjoy using the analytical part of my brain, interacting with other intelligent adults, having accomplishments and getting promoted, having my own world apart from my family. While my DC work hard on their homework, I am working hard next to them on a presentation or white paper. If I were just scrolling Instagram or browsing Target.com it wouldn’t be nearly as motivating for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a career in finance that I enjoyed, but then DC was born. Doing childcare, tending the home and working was very exhausting so I deprioritized my career. Although I had some success as an employer my husband was way more successful so it didn't make sense for me to be employed. I know women married to high earning men, but they still work even after having more than one child. I can't understand this, how can they do it all? I'm genuinely curious.

To save my soul. Because I never want to be entirely dependent on anyone else. I have an important identity outside of my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a career in finance that I enjoyed, but then DC was born. Doing childcare, tending the home and working was very exhausting so I deprioritized my career. Although I had some success as an employer my husband was way more successful so it didn't make sense for me to be employed. I know women married to high earning men, but they still work even after having more than one child. I can't understand this, how can they do it all? I'm genuinely curious.

To save my soul. Because I never want to be entirely dependent on anyone else. I have an important identity outside of my family.

PP add to this-I am a better mom because I work. I would be depressed without my meaningful work in addition to family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their husbands aren’t checked out of family life the same way it sounds like your husband is. So they have more help.

OP here. Men aren't as helpful around the house, at least not in my experience. They might cook or clean from time to time, but they're not as involved with their children and women are.

You need to broaden your experience OP. My parents both worked, yet my dad was the primary parent. There is nothing that makes a man inherently incapable of being an involved parent. There are however, women who put up with and enable poor behavior from their husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the OP
But can we get more personal stories on why women in this category PREFER to work? I'm finding that interesting.

Can we please not do the whole risk man plan might die thing. We all know that. Everyone accepts risks differently. So let's eliminate that risk variable.

Being a SAHM is work. Personally, that work is not fulfilling to want to do it 24/7. Just like my day job as a lawyer is not fulfilling to do 24/7. So I prefer to have 2 jobs instead of one because it’s more interesting than just doing the one.

[Anonymous]

I work because I love my job. My husband brought in most of the income but I like using my brain, helping people and frankly once kids are in school a full day it’s fantastic. I personally wouldn’t feel happy and fulfilled if my main accomplishments for the day were grocery shopping, cleaning, playing tennis, and driving carpool. I am the primary parent though so the one who takes time off when the kids are sick etc. My job allowed for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew I couldn't deal with being SAHM, I would go stir crazy. I enjoy contributing to society and extending my efforts and mental abilities to beyond that of a mother and wife. My DH helps a lot with childcare and home chores. We have cleaning service. When kids were younger, had nannies/babysitters in addition to kids going to daycare/preschool early on.

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

Please explain why this rests with women and not men. Why are men allowed to find things other than fatherhood more meaningful?

[Anonymous]

I love what I do. I am living a childhood dream. I worked hard to get where I am career-wise.

I did not view it as only my responsibility to " shift things" for kids.

I did not accept the " you can't have everything at once " trope

The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew I couldn't deal with being SAHM, I would go stir crazy. I enjoy contributing to society and extending my efforts and mental abilities to beyond that of a mother and wife. My DH helps a lot with childcare and home chores. We have cleaning service. When kids were younger, had nannies/babysitters in addition to kids going to daycare/preschool early on.

Sounds like feminism did its damage. I don't understand how so many women believe that being a corporate cog is more meaningful than being a mother.

Please explain why this rests with women and not men. Why are men allowed to find things other than fatherhood more meaningful?

Are you familiar with Adam and Eve?

[Anonymous]

- I never wanted to rely on another person for my survival.
- I wanted to make sure I was in the relationship because I wanted to be there, not because I couldn't afford to leave.
- My ex husband was an involved parent and not lazy around the house.
- There was always a grandparent around for the first 3 years of my kids' lives.
- I make way too much money in my profession to just throw it away. That money will allow me to travel extensively with my kids, pay for college, and fund my early retirement