My sister and BIL want me to ask my husband to get their son a lucrative job

[Anonymous]

First, OP is a terrible person.

Second, the nephew/sister are surely not asking for the DH to "get him a six figure job". Your DH is obviously not an idiot and obviously knows how to navigate a large company - hence him having a good job. He knows how to appropriately forward a resume. Submitting a resume does not mean your DH has to demand this kid gets a six figure, nor does it even mean your DH has to put his neck out for him. There are plenty of approaches between doing nothing at all and demanding his company hire this kid as CEO. Your DH is a big boy and can figure this out very easily. You should butt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree it is how the world works. But I also might be hesitant to put my neck out if you think the nephew can't cut it or would somehow be embarrassing. Also depends what position your husband is in.

I'm at a private mid-sized firm and in a position to make hiring moves but would not hire most of my family members because I think they ultimately would not do a good job. The guy who owns our firm, however, has hired a few lackluster family members and family friends, who have either been let go or continue to be a bit of a drain, but I guess that doesn't really matter since it's his company.

This is what I mean. He didn’t stick his neck out for the families we know. My nephew on the other hand is not graduating with any honors, his summer jobs have nothing to do with finance, and he barely speaks to my husband. The time to ask was probably four years ago for an internship, not a couple of months before he graduates asking for a full time six figure job offer.

If you were a good person, you would have mentored your nephew 4 years ago and suggested that he get in touch with your husband and get an internship at his firm. But you're not. So you didn't.
Your post is full of contempt for your nephew. Why is that? There has to be more to the story here.

Insecurity about her precarious position as age steals her beauty, her only marketable attribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

Sounds like the kid is getting ideas of rising above his station. Favors are reserved for similarly situated kids not middle class relatives.

[Anonymous]

I got my job based on merit (and prejudice, sure, but not a personal connection), but I guess I'm weird. But I work in an industry where employers need talented people to beat the competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

Sounds like the kid is getting ideas of rising above his station. Favors are reserved for similarly situated kids not middle class relatives.

Give him command of a battalion, some men to lead!

He is not throwing away his shot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, OP is a terrible person.

Second, the nephew/sister are surely not asking for the DH to "get him a six figure job". Your DH is obviously not an idiot and obviously knows how to navigate a large company - hence him having a good job. He knows how to appropriately forward a resume. Submitting a resume does not mean your DH has to demand this kid gets a six figure, nor does it even mean your DH has to put his neck out for him. There are plenty of approaches between doing nothing at all and demanding his company hire this kid as CEO. Your DH is a big boy and can figure this out very easily. You should butt out.

THANK YOU.
So many commenters who think an entry level job is like Succession.

[Anonymous]

According to the OP, nephew can always get one of those (scoff) 60k jobs (indignant face) that all new grads can get. That should be more suitable for his middle class behind.

[Anonymous]

All you people acting indignant that OP doesn’t want to do nepotism are ridiculous. Maybe nephew should have put in a bit of effort in reaching out/asking about internships/showing any interest at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

You can say that you don't get involved in DH's professional matters. My DH doesn't recommend any relative (mine or his) to his own company as he finds that unprofessional and unethical to put hiring people in compromised position.

My kids are required to carve their own paths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you people acting indignant that OP doesn’t want to do nepotism are ridiculous. Maybe nephew should have put in a bit of effort in reaching out/asking about internships/showing any interest at all.

They're willing to do nepotism for friends who don't need a leg up. A poor relation is a bridge too far for OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All you people acting indignant that OP doesn’t want to do nepotism are ridiculous. Maybe nephew should have put in a bit of effort in reaching out/asking about internships/showing any interest at all.

They're willing to do nepotism for friends who don't need a leg up. A poor relation is a bridge too far for OP

She said the other kids were qualified while the nephew is not

[Anonymous]

OP's DH can give kid guidance on how to improve his odds. Look up his resume, give tips on certification and interview etc. He doesn't have to hire him.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, recommending a random applicant is different recommending your own child or relative. Also odd to have family members in your work place.

[Anonymous]

OP doesn't sound affectionate towards her nephew but may be she is sick of mooching relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't sound affectionate towards her nephew but may be she is sick of mooching relatives.

Pot... meet kettle.