My 39 y.o. gym trainer is looking for a husband, with no success on dating apps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struck by you saying she us " relatively" good looking

You are not a friend

OP is a gross dude who knows he cannot bang her so he’s here instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

+1 Why the hell did OP post this in the first place? It's both smug and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struck by you saying she us " relatively" good looking

You are not a friend

OP here. I am not her friend, she is my gym trainer.
Even if she were my friend, I would still dare to say that she is "relatively good-looking." Not all my friends are stunning beauties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

What’s with the music notes?

Not PP but the music notes prompted me to sing the comment in my head like a song. I enjoyed it.

Thank you I was hoping someone would like it 🙏

TIL my internal song voice sounds like Jean Ralphio

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

You need to be told that just because you have not in 20 years that sleeping with lots of guys on date 2 is a bad idea?

OP here. She is from a lower SE class, where people might not be as "uptight" as in mine. So no, I have not immediately identified this as the primary problem. But now that you told me, I have my answer 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

+1 Why the hell did OP post this in the first place? It's both smug and mean.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

You need to be told that just because you have not in 20 years that sleeping with lots of guys on date 2 is a bad idea?

OP here. She is from a lower SE class, where people might not be as "uptight" as in mine. So no, I have not immediately identified this as the primary problem. But now that you told me, I have my answer 😉

Good lord!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

What’s with the music notes?

Not PP but the music notes prompted me to sing the comment in my head like a song. I enjoyed it.

Thank you I was hoping someone would like it 🙏

TIL my internal song voice sounds like Jean Ralphio

🎶🎶 I think we would be best friends IRL, pp. 🎶🎶

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is hooking up w/the majority of these men - then she is not giving off the impression that she is looking for something serious.

A better strategy would be to date different people w/o sleeping with them.
That will show a man that she is in it for real > not just a fun time.

I bet her prospects will go up if she starts doing that‼️

OP here. I think she is hooking up with them on the second date. But I agree, it is much too soon.

FWIW, she is from Brazil, and she is almost white. She is dating almost exclusively black guys. I'm not sure how that affects the dynamic.

Okay, you agree she is hooking up with guys too soon. So why start this thread wondering what the problem is?

No answer from op?

OP here. Of course I think that hooking up with guys on the second date makes the wrong impression on them. But I myself have not dated in 20 years, and people's attitudes may have changed.

I think that she is not enough of a catch on the dating market, because of a combination of her situation, looks and age. She looks pleasant, but not hot.

If she’s a trainer she should have a body that at least some guys find irresistible, and body is what matters to men the most. If that’s not enough of a hook for her, OP can’t help her.

Anyway OP is mean and weird and no one asked her for help.

[Anonymous]

OP you have used this post to offer self-congratulatory details about your own life under the guise of concern-trolling for your trainer, whom you’ve identified as low SES, “relatively” good looking, and easy.

No one believes you care about this person.

So you’re a married middle-aged homeowner with a teen who can afford a trainer? Congratulations. Make sure to collect your prize: it’s a colonoscopy and marriage counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

What’s with the music notes?

Not PP but the music notes prompted me to sing the comment in my head like a song. I enjoyed it.

Thank you I was hoping someone would like it 🙏

TIL my internal song voice sounds like Jean Ralphio

🎶🎶 I think we would be best friends IRL, pp. 🎶🎶

[Anonymous]

Ha! Thank yooouuu! 🎵 🎤

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with you on all counts.
I have a friend who is 39 and childless and she has the same two illusions as your trainer:
-that she is somehow younger than her age and is still young and has a whole life ahead of her ; and
- that people who are about the same market value as her are somehow beneath her

She found a boyfriend who she thinks is beneath her and is pregnant. She is ambivalent about it. I see a difficult road ahead for her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you have used this post to offer self-congratulatory details about your own life under the guise of concern-trolling for your trainer, whom you’ve identified as low SES, “relatively” good looking, and easy.

No one believes you care about this person.

So you’re a married middle-aged homeowner with a teen who can afford a trainer? Congratulations. Make sure to collect your prize: it’s a colonoscopy and marriage counseling.

Not Op but I feel called out and it HURTS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:🎶 no one asked OP for help or her opinion 🎶

+1 Why the hell did OP post this in the first place? It's both smug and mean.

+1

I think the OP is the wife and the “friend” really her husbands trainer who makes her nervous. She’s slamming this woman while asserting her own worth.