Tween daughter looks older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

Yeah, she can be real proud until they start to sag, then she can join the rest of us bemoaning that we have become "invisible." Funny how males don't lose their "power."

Her mom should also teach her about bras.

Suuuure,
That brass gonna do squat as she ages. People can tell young breasts from jacked up older ones, but sure lingerie will help her keep her self esteem.

Men are still checking out my 45 year old E cups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t find this believable. 99% of teen boys aren’t going up to girls of any age they don’t know and asking for numbers. They can barely hold an in person conversation with anyone.m

I have an 18 boy and a 13 year old girl and I've observed this. No one is pestering anyone for their number. The teens who pair up just gravitate naturally together in school (or their after school activities), and are friends. Everyone is rather shy about dating. Few teens are dating, even fewer are sexually active. This teen generation is less sexually active than previous ones.

I've noticed on DCUM that there's this image of predatory, harassing boys and innocent girls. I think that is largely in the minds of their mothers, who had unpleasant experiences at the same age with a few males, and now imagine that every male is out to prey on their daughters. From what I was able to observe of boys in my son's high school and activities, they are humans who sometimes talk. So if another boy or girl is there, not giving off "I hate you" vibes, they may strike up a conversation, especially if they think the other kid is their age. This in no way indicates they want to date. Even if a boy asks a girl for contact info, it doesn't necessarily mean the text chain or hang-out will turn out romantic. Kids want friends first, dates a distant second. I also think "boys checking out girls" sometimes misses the fact that people look at people, but worried parents get a lot more worried when the girl in question has curves, because they think that's all the boys are looking at. Looks can be perfectly innocent.

That being said, I totally understand that *some* men and boys will get overly attentive with young curvy girls. I'm sorry this is happening to your daughter, OP. She can say she's not interested, that's all. In my daughter's middle school, a few girls are very interested in dating, the rest are not. I know a few girls who *aggressively* pursue boys they like, so again, it's not one gender doing this to the other, it's some kids who are more interested than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re teaching her to be embarrassed by her boobs. Stop doing that. Teach her to be proud of them and to use them. Tits are power.

Yikes she is 12, what kind of advice is this?

Realistic advice.

Yeah, she can be real proud until they start to sag, then she can join the rest of us bemoaning that we have become "invisible." Funny how males don't lose their "power."

Her mom should also teach her about bras.

Suuuure,
That brass gonna do squat as she ages. People can tell young breasts from jacked up older ones, but sure lingerie will help her keep her self esteem.

Men are still checking out my 45 year old E cups.

Well, enjoy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a 16 year old boy walks up to a girl who looks 16 and asks for her number he hasn’t done something wrong and she doesn’t need to give him a rude response. A “no thanks I’m still in middle school” is fine. Sorry she’s dealing with this, it will eventually even out.

No 16 yo boy should walk up to a complete stranger and ask for their number.

Do no bug women on the street with your hormones. Some of us just want to walk places without men thinking they can come into our space.

Better ways to date would be ... get to know girls though clubs, events, friends. Get to know them as a person, if they seem to be a good person and you have like interests and you know their age and know they are not dating seriously or married, ask them out.

Or use an app.

But please do not teach your sons it's okay to hit on people just trying to get on with their day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a 16 year old boy walks up to a girl who looks 16 and asks for her number he hasn’t done something wrong and she doesn’t need to give him a rude response. A “no thanks I’m still in middle school” is fine. Sorry she’s dealing with this, it will eventually even out.

No 16 yo boy should walk up to a complete stranger and ask for their number.

Do no bug women on the street with your hormones. Some of us just want to walk places without men thinking they can come into our space.

Better ways to date would be ... get to know girls though clubs, events, friends. Get to know them as a person, if they seem to be a good person and you have like interests and you know their age and know they are not dating seriously or married, ask them out.

Or use an app.

But please do not teach your sons it's okay to hit on people just trying to get on with their day.

I don't know any high school boy who would do this or any girl who has experienced it. I have 17 year old b/g twins. I've asked either if this has ever happened and they said no. They are popular kids who spend each weekend out on Friday and Saturday nights--parties, school sporting events, restaurants, etc. I have a 14 year old daughter as well who is blond and striking and she doesn't have random boys asking her out either. Do men look at her? Sure. I see their eyes when I'm walking beside her. But no propositions or phone number asks from teens.
Maybe it's cultural. Who knows. But in my kid's world it isn't happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a family member who had this issue. She master the "are you an idiot???" looks followed by the incredulous, "Ummm...no. I'm 12," followed by an eye roll and flounce off.

As she got older it evolved into an excellent "drop dead, moron" look that usually served as enough of a deterrent.

Seriously, though, I can only imagine how awkward and motifying that is for a tween. Helping her learn to brush them off and walk away knowing it's about them, not her, is the best advice I have. And sometimes the brush off is indeed more effective with some attitude than when done too politely, which teen boys may see as a sign of weakness.

There’s no need to be so hostile.